God, or his agent is now talking to YOU on YouTube!

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It's official!


What our friendly, neighborhood convicted felon Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens said seems to have caught the Pope's attention! He has realized that the interwebs are a bunch of tubes connected to each other, and YouTubes is one of them through which you can post funny moving pictures of yourself slipping on a banana peel with a white robe on, and so on....

The Big, Fat, White Priest Pope will now beam his dissatisfaction over your extra conjugal indulgence, your propensity to use "protection", your attitude towards divorce, embryonic stem cells and what it means to be alive (it's totally okay to die in unnecessary wars when you were 18, as long as you are delivered once conceived, bastard child or not..) over YouTube!!!

Hmm, I had a Bill Maher moment out there (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0815241/)

Well anyway, I think I am the last person (other than all the homeless, impoverished people) to get on the YouTubes.

As long as Ze Pope doesn't try to post cartoons explaining the differences between Islam and Christianity, he should be A-okay!

One more thing Pope, no DRM music in the background. You don't want to piss off the RIAA. They will send takedown notices and settlement lawsuits to a one "John Doe", 1 Vatican Circle, Vatican City, Europe.....

In other issues that seems to be pissing people off (call it my diversion tactic):

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE50F5DJ20090116

God's mom did not have a bust. You cannot compare her to your friend's mom who used to come pick you up after soccer games...

You think I am going straight to hell?


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Britain: Now wagging it's insignificantly small pen* in a South Asian near you - one more time

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I was traveling the Thanksgiving Weekend when Bombay was attacked. Returning from the trip, my biggest shock was that Pakistan was not back to the stone ages where it belonged.

Thanks to my 1.08 billion brethren whose solution to every problem seems to be making more babies and calling it a "cold start", Pakistan will continue to be a gangrene of our modern times.

Look at Israel? Humanitarian Crisis, my pink tushy. If we don't fight evil with effective war, we will never have a solution.

And, after all, India's problem is different. We didn't occupy Pakistan. We gave them the Capital F*ing right to exist.

Talking to several of my co-habituating Indian citizens, I found out that we were still very interested in empty mouthing.

And all this crap about "Western Allies". India doesn't have any allies.

And now Britain. Can somebody ask the Island nation to shut up? They are the reason this mess exists.

Idiots.


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Incredibly stupid, horny idiots on LinkedIn are now called "unsuspecting users"

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2009 is here. And it is the year where we will support all forms of imbecility by putting nice names on them. It is part of a new global resolution to devolve rather than evolve by allowing the horny and criminal among us to be proud of their doubts.

This follows the trend from 2008 when Obama Rick Warrenized America. Now he is after appointing the extremely jolly and geriatric folks who should rather be dressed up as Santa Claus to lead CIA and such...

In any case, read the article. Let's say you are on LinkedIn. You see the profile of a person in their birthday attire displaying phallic or other enticing morphologies...

Here are a few questions:

Would you click on the profile or move on?

Why are you on LinkedIn in the first place?

How long have you been living in a cave to realize that a nude picture on the internet can almost never lead to a happy conclusion, at least when you see them on legit websites?

So, idiots who click on these profiles are not "exploited". iFrames or not, they are reaping what they sow.

So why are we not writing articles titled "LinkedIn infested by horny sobs who click on nude profiles" ?

Because this is 2009.

Stupidity is in.

Commonsense was buried the century before last.

Let's give everyone a sticker for showing up!!!

Oh, and Happy New Year!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Change how I preypray? Separate Church from what? Well, Separate "this" says our friendly, neighborhood Warren....

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Cynicism is an amazing tool. When you learn very, very early in life that people never mean what they say (hear that Jesus?), you settle well into reality.

But, if you have been polluting your backyard with golf courses while driving a Subaru or Prius (or both, which makes you the perfect fluff cake) and telling the rest of the world how it should be, you probably get blindsided by people like Obama.

I was somewhere in between myself. On November 4, I let my guard down. Well, thank you Jesus!

What is amazing is the fact that it took George Bush 8 years to do to what Obama and Rick Warren are going to achieve in the span of a few minutes (or seconds).

No wonder YOU are not the Person of the Year...

Of late, what respected constitution have you tried to dissolve in a few minutes?

How many of the people who trusted you have you let down in a jiffy by using platitudes to defend yourself?

Meanwhile, in another part of the world, the Palins are now grandparents.

We live among a breed of role models indeed!!!

Yes, January 20, 2009 is the end of an error.

It is also the day you realize you are very, very, very error prone. After all you are human aren't ya?

Don't trust me? Good, wait around for no actions on abortion, human rights, gay rights and a host of Lincolnian platitudes served up as excuses.


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Run, don't walk - here come the useless lists of what was and what will be...

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Every year, we have a breed of lists that are fomented in the dark back alleys of the interwebs. What is the point? Most of them are incredibly useless.

So, I have decided to one up as an act of revenge - I am collating a useless list of lists.

Here is the first one:

http://www.infoworld.com/article/08/12/23/10_things_that_wont_survive_the_recession_1.html

And no, this year, YOU are not the person of the year. That, is, sooooo last year....

Watch this space for more sarcasm, cynicism, foul language, ancestral mis-references and other wonders of the English language snidely attributed to the creators, actors and readers of such lists....




Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

And, in today's incredibly fake, useless and mind-numbing "research" news....

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Read the article and weep gently. A bunch of idiots, not named in this article have spent their time "researching" into whether or not Charles Dickens was "accurate" in representing Oliver Twist and his desire to ask for "more" in his fictitious work Oliver Twist.

Following this highly applaud-worthy research, they are now going to Middle Earth to spew more random, crappy garbage about the inane fool who wrote The Lord of The Trash Rings crap.....

Meanwhile the fraud, no, IgNobel committee will come back after its investigations into fraud, bigotry, bribery and other crimes of wonder to award these great researchers who pounded Charles Dicken's miserable failure to write "accurate" fiction...

Makes you want to pull yer hairs, don't it?


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

You gays must just learn to protest only when it is not important to the rest of us - Obama

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Wait a second...so they create a seven page questionnaire, make a big deal of Clinton's wheeling and dealing, and pick her anyway after her husband's foundation was funded by Blackwater (go read the news. If this surprised you, you are lazy and not reading).

But, they did not vet this?

Or did they just not care?

On top of not taking a stance on Prop 8, this is just plain, old - fashioned, sexist biogtry.

Thank You Obama and Warren, we now have change...for a dollar, not the other kind everyone voted for.

From hereon, its a slippery slope until 2017...



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

What's in a name you say...hmm! || Walmart... now serving bigots at a store near you

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Hey, wasn't the first amendment supposed to make idiots out of all of us? How can people on the interwebs and a damned cake store take that away from us?

Read here:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081217/ap_on_fe_st/odd_hitler_cake

You have to hear what the bigot says. "He may grow up and socialize with black people."

Its 2008 and this fellow is still shameless to speak like this...

Oh, and in case you think what this has to do with Walmart?

Well, you could tell why they keep making profits - catering to anyone and everyone that brings business at the footstep.

Hmm..

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Okay, so whatever is wrong with Illinois?

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First we found out about Blogovoblogogobovich and then Jon Stewart told us that 3 of the last 7 Governors of Chicago went to prison (!) and with Blogovogo..that would make a 50% of Governors going to prison (!!!)....

And then there are these 4 idiots who decided to commit a felony. Robbing for pizza is stupid. Robbing when stupid is impermissably stupid. Being an Illinois'ian is?

This has now finally wiped off the shame wrought on Florida and Texas for...

Illinois is now officially...

Let's hope Obama, and his Chicago heavy cabinet are unlike these pioneers of pizza thievery...


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Goldman Sucks Sachs - now bringing 2.0 of incredibly inaccurate oil price predictions

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Let's be honest. This is worse than the boy who cried wolf. I did not even read the article. Who cares about the abracadabras that the "analysts", "experts" and whatever other goobs in Goldman cooked up?

The most unnervingly idiotic moment came, in Q3 when oil prices were incessantly falling and Goldman "stood by" its "predictions" of $200 oil.

Were they trying to dupe someone somewhere?

And mind you, when Goldman was "standing by" its numbers, oil was on a slippery slope - should I say pun, intended?

So now these Scooby-Doos are predicting $45 for 2009.

Hmm, I "predict" $700.

If we are throwing numbers, why give a frack how off they are, right?

Are you a tax payer?

If so, it is idiots like this (not exactly Goldman Sucks Sachs - okay why do I keep doing that!) that you "bailed out" while sitting at home jobless or at work fearing it will go away.

Enjoy watching Uncle Sam take your cash to Atlantic City....

Because we can't live without these "teams", "analysts" and "experts"!


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.