It was really hard to come up with a title for the post. Not that the topic was a tough one, but that there are so many titles that there is no end...however, I chose "titillating" from the article referenced here. It seems quaintly appropriate.
And I know I am a little late on the post, but when it comes to s*x and Microsoft one is never...eh, let's move on.
Feigning Innocence!
Microsoft was organizing some sort of IT brouhaha in Australia. Now, I have not been there, and I would rather not...in case you don't know, they kill Indians and the police pretend it's not racism. Anyhoo..
They decided to "titillate" the IT folks attending the conference to some "meter maids". No, not to teach them the virtues of appropriate parking, the other kind. What other kind? Well, the "gentlemen's club" kind, the kind as Lisa Scottoline would put it, where no "gentlemen" would ever go!
Well, when you hear "meter maids" being used as a "titillation", what do you think?
Yeah, me too. Apparently though, Microsoft didn't expect the meter maids to show up, er, half naked...although if you did a photographic comparison of the surface area to clothed area, you would notice "half" doesn't cut, er, cover it.
So, anyone here buying Microsoft's feigned innocence?
You might, if this was the first time that Microsoft decided to get some extra "help" to encourage their Israeli resellers, if you may.
http://ysrihari.blogspot.com/2010/01/sex-scandal-computers-and-illicit.html
Wait there's more!
You didn't think I would leave you with a soporific post about Microsoft hiring hookers did you? I hope not. What would be the value if this blog chronicled things sans the irony they bring to the doorstep of our inner eyes? You are right I am stretching the point, just filling space to keep the suspense going and all that...
The conference included a section called "Women in IT". Well, if you stepped back and said, "So, what's the big deal?", there is definitely something wrong with you. Or, you may fit right in with Microsoft's marketing department. Who knows?
Much tweeting followed of course - that is right, hire a few meter maids, offend a few women and then hoist your women employees' to tweet down any sign of dissent or protest - a great strategy, any day!
The question I have is, if Microsoft had hired any available "Meter Men" would any of us be saying the same things about men being objectified? Or is that the wrong conclusion to draw?
In any case, the next time Microsoft holds a conference, I want in...wonder what they will do next!
It must be so much fun working at Microsoft. Oh why did I not focus on learning about pointers and work at Microsoft. Damn you all!
References:
1. http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/meter-maids-stunt-backfires-at-microsoft-geek-gathering-20100826-13t2f.html
2. http://www.metermaids.com/
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Scr** "The HP Way", I say let's have Hurd run for Congress...the "New" Silicon Valley way...
Among the rather "blah" news we were delivered this week is the fact that Hurd used HP funds to er, pay for his "sexual harassment"!
Then the vultures descended. Apparently, people can't pay for their affairs with company money. And then there is this HP way people keep talking about. Ethics, shmethics...look, once you have fairly ruined a company in Silicon Valley....things start looking up!
Where should we start?
Well, look at Fiorina. She took HP's stock, well, er, let's not go there shall we? And for that singular achievement, she wants to replace Barbara Boxer...
And then, there is the MEG. eBay stocks floored and co-workers got shoved and then settlements took place, but hey, who better for the Governor of California.
So, it would be good for Michael Malone keep talking about the HP way, innovation and all that. Isn't the game - buy random companies, fire thousands of workers, shove a few workers, do other stuff to a few more and then run for office as ... ?
Come on!
Since some of our Silicon Valley "behemoths" (shall we just call them that?) have already taken up the severely selfless task of wanting to be Governor and Senator, I think we need to add a few, such as Hurd to the House, and simply ignore all these detractors who want innovation, care for employees and such...
I mean, did you release a device knowing it had reception issues? Well, first blame the carrier and then fire some random executive for your "antennagate". Unfortunately, we can't ask HIM to run for office, he is already God...
This, my dear friends, is the "New" Silicon Valley way! Come...!! Be one of our executives that shade outside the bounds of ethics and law and run for office!!!
Reference:
To see Michael Malone's anachronistic rant of the "old ways":
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN0822209420100808
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Then the vultures descended. Apparently, people can't pay for their affairs with company money. And then there is this HP way people keep talking about. Ethics, shmethics...look, once you have fairly ruined a company in Silicon Valley....things start looking up!
Where should we start?
Well, look at Fiorina. She took HP's stock, well, er, let's not go there shall we? And for that singular achievement, she wants to replace Barbara Boxer...
And then, there is the MEG. eBay stocks floored and co-workers got shoved and then settlements took place, but hey, who better for the Governor of California.
So, it would be good for Michael Malone keep talking about the HP way, innovation and all that. Isn't the game - buy random companies, fire thousands of workers, shove a few workers, do other stuff to a few more and then run for office as ... ?
Come on!
Since some of our Silicon Valley "behemoths" (shall we just call them that?) have already taken up the severely selfless task of wanting to be Governor and Senator, I think we need to add a few, such as Hurd to the House, and simply ignore all these detractors who want innovation, care for employees and such...
I mean, did you release a device knowing it had reception issues? Well, first blame the carrier and then fire some random executive for your "antennagate". Unfortunately, we can't ask HIM to run for office, he is already God...
This, my dear friends, is the "New" Silicon Valley way! Come...!! Be one of our executives that shade outside the bounds of ethics and law and run for office!!!
Reference:
To see Michael Malone's anachronistic rant of the "old ways":
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN0822209420100808
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Prop 8, a great model to bankrupt the Mormon "all" churches...
Preface: The summer of blog, my effort to blog as I continue to stay busy continues, and this blog, posted with pleasure, is of course not nearly as funny and is more a real "weblog" or commentary. Unlike "internet thief" Julian Assange, I have my own opinions, the making of a real journalist, trained, paid or otherwise.
Prop 8 was overturned today, August 4th, 2010. It is not a victory, and a victory that should never have existed anyway. The Mormon church and it's faithfuls of other religions (you would be surprised how religious congregations come together when it is time to spread hatred) hoisted this on Californians (including tax payers like me) and had us spend money defending something that should have beena God an Evolution given right to our state anyway.
This got me thinking - they already wanted a stay, so they have the money to spend on it. And they want to take this to the "conservative" (apparently this is what we are calling it nowadays) Supreme Court.
So, why not give them a run for their money? How about we keep them engaged, constantly, legally?
Like go to Utah and try to pass legislation on gay marriage, for example. Or in any number of states. They will come for a fight, right?
How long can they go on promoting inequality? How long will people buy hatred as a church message? Why not test and find out?
After all, they have already experienced moral bankruptcy...
After all, their "refudiater"-in-chief's daughter couldn't even hold a sham engagement long enough...what do these people really know about marriage? Not a lot, you betcha!
Imaging if any of these geniuses spent money on cleaning pedophiles off their own churches. Oh well, we can't allow a good thing get in the way of targeting minorities, right?
Well, now that Prop 8 has been stemmed temporarily, don't think we are done. Next up, Prop 23....
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Prop 8 was overturned today, August 4th, 2010. It is not a victory, and a victory that should never have existed anyway. The Mormon church and it's faithfuls of other religions (you would be surprised how religious congregations come together when it is time to spread hatred) hoisted this on Californians (including tax payers like me) and had us spend money defending something that should have been
This got me thinking - they already wanted a stay, so they have the money to spend on it. And they want to take this to the "conservative" (apparently this is what we are calling it nowadays) Supreme Court.
So, why not give them a run for their money? How about we keep them engaged, constantly, legally?
Like go to Utah and try to pass legislation on gay marriage, for example. Or in any number of states. They will come for a fight, right?
How long can they go on promoting inequality? How long will people buy hatred as a church message? Why not test and find out?
After all, they have already experienced moral bankruptcy...
After all, their "refudiater"-in-chief's daughter couldn't even hold a sham engagement long enough...what do these people really know about marriage? Not a lot, you betcha!
Imaging if any of these geniuses spent money on cleaning pedophiles off their own churches. Oh well, we can't allow a good thing get in the way of targeting minorities, right?
Well, now that Prop 8 has been stemmed temporarily, don't think we are done. Next up, Prop 23....
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Sunday, August 01, 2010
How do bad email campaigns "effect" me? They "effect"ively make me mad..thank you IBM and V3
Alright, you get paid for writing stuff and stuffing people's emails.
You also get to call yourself editors and such other wonderful titles.
You haven't had any reason to prove Green's Theorem, or worry about Bessel's functions for a day in your life.
You have had to write crap about Keats and Wordsworth (and yes, I was and continue to be better at that as well).
You get paid more than people who routinely function better than you.
But you can't spell?
Alright, dramatic effects (or was it affects?) aside, here is what grinds my gears:
Do click on the magical wonder that the screen-shot is.
Here are a few thoughts to some of our friendly, neighborhood editors and marketing geniuses:
1. Go back to grammar school.
2. Alternately, simply go away!
3. Find a different job, one that doesn't involve spelling in the only language you know (this newsletter comes from two companies, one in the United Kingdom and one in the former colonies)
4. Use "spell checkers". Not, Chinese checkers - I am not saying Chinese people are bad at checking grammar (they are probably better than you, given, er...). I am referring to the game, "Chinese Checkers".
5. Show up to work a little less drunk...
Irony
The irony of this email campaign involves the following:
1. questioning how inaccurate information effects, er, affects, er, who knows, me.
2. presenting me with a tool called "smartfacts" (the space in-between or the lack thereof could be an error, or not, or, again, who knows?).
It amazes me that some of us have to work so much harder than the others....or work at all!
Still confused?
Here is how affect and effect differ:
http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/affect.html
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
You also get to call yourself editors and such other wonderful titles.
You haven't had any reason to prove Green's Theorem, or worry about Bessel's functions for a day in your life.
You have had to write crap about Keats and Wordsworth (and yes, I was and continue to be better at that as well).
You get paid more than people who routinely function better than you.
But you can't spell?
Alright, dramatic effects (or was it affects?) aside, here is what grinds my gears:
Do click on the magical wonder that the screen-shot is.
Here are a few thoughts to some of our friendly, neighborhood editors and marketing geniuses:
1. Go back to grammar school.
2. Alternately, simply go away!
3. Find a different job, one that doesn't involve spelling in the only language you know (this newsletter comes from two companies, one in the United Kingdom and one in the former colonies)
4. Use "spell checkers". Not, Chinese checkers - I am not saying Chinese people are bad at checking grammar (they are probably better than you, given, er...). I am referring to the game, "Chinese Checkers".
5. Show up to work a little less drunk...
Irony
The irony of this email campaign involves the following:
1. questioning how inaccurate information effects, er, affects, er, who knows, me.
2. presenting me with a tool called "smartfacts" (the space in-between or the lack thereof could be an error, or not, or, again, who knows?).
It amazes me that some of us have to work so much harder than the others....or work at all!
Still confused?
Here is how affect and effect differ:
http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/affect.html
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Friday, July 16, 2010
Pre-announcing Apple's New Product: iBlame!
I know some of you are out there, braving 100+ temperatures, taking precious vacation time off, even biting your dog's nails (because yours are already bitten and gone)....because God, er, Steve Jobs has called for a conference.
Actually, I am a bit surprised why it doesn't become a big deal when he runs out of toilet paper. iToilet paper? Toilet iPaper?
Anyway, I was roaming around the streets and one more of Apple's drunk engineers (coming soon: iAA or iApple for the vagabond inebriates) had a prototype of the latest product that will be announced at the "conference" tomorrow!
So, if you hear that the Silicon Valley cops (having solved all other crimes, they are ready to function as Jobs' private security using my tax money) arrest me by tomorrow for pre-releasing photos and descriptions of Apple's products, I hope you understand the sacrifice and pain I am going through for you..I am a blogger, not even a journalist...
So, what is the product going to be?
After throwing his jacket to the crowds and signing across the chests of raging fans, Steve Jobs will pull out of h..., the new product!
At this point, as usual, the birds will stop flying, the waves will stop churning, babies will stop crying and the moon will eclipse.
iBlame!, the product
Yes! Steve Jobs has had enough. How can anyone even possibly, remotely doubt that he isready to be blamed? So, at the conference tomorrow (rather, later today) he is going to announce a product that will be compatible with all future Apple products but will not function with unapproved third party hardware, software, firmware, infirmware and such...
This product will have the following hitherto unknown functions that will fix all previously known issues:
In case of defect, damage, or even a complete lack of functionality on the part of any Apple product, the following will be the order in which Apple will place blame:
1. The hardware manufacturer (read Chinese teenagers) is to blame.
2. The third party service provider is to blame.
3. Mercury is retrograde
4. Saturn is shining his light up URa.....
5. It's bad juju, or Microsoft, hey, maybe it's Google, or those tribbles...!
6. It's Yamanoor Srihari's fault..
7. You, the customer (for further comprehension, consult Toyota, which likes to prove all it's customers are iDiots too).
Customer and Congressional Reaction
Even before iBlame is released, customer reaction has been anticipatorily rampant. For example, it appears that Democrat Senator Schumer has decided toapologize, er, grovel, no, "urge" Apple the following: "to come up with a "permanent fix" to the problem at no cost to customers."
I also heard that Grassley and Rep Barton were pissed at Schumer because Schumer beat him to the race. Grassley was still writing one of his usual,ineffective letters and Barton wants to be the first to apologize to companies when they get blamed for what they did.
In any case, it is anticipated that one of the responses will be "Congress can go legislate itself".
Analysts' projections for iBlame's success:
The same analysts that brought you the financial success that the last three years have been, believe that iBlame will have the following successes:
1. No matter what happens, Apple won't have to recall it's devices. They can write fake code to show fake bars, or even attach twigs to white bricks for antennas.
2. Steve Jobs will continue to be God. After all, he survived his own, personal, special, private "Stock Backdating" scam. People who survive that can really do whatever the heck they please.
3. People will still continue to call Apple, it's design and products "innovative". After all, if you don't bother to find out what you are talking about.. (wait, did I say that loud?, ah, the backspace key fell off, shoulda bought Apple you know!).
4. Given how business friendly the Obama Administration has become, what with Goldman Sachs being asked to throwchuckchump change (less than one day's gain in stock value) at the SEC, and Glaxo getting to keep it's useless, and in fact potentially harmful Avandia on the market thanks to the FDA, Apple can be sure that Jobs is safe, and the iPhone can get approved as a medical device or a perpetual motion machine. At this point, it is their choice to ask, or order anything...
More Customer Reaction
After I found out about the impending release of iBlame, I bid adieu to the intoxicated employee and decided to seek some more customer reaction.
Disclaimer: My interviews with Apple customers are as factual as the iPhone's signal bars...
Walking down the street, I talked to a few avid customers. Here are some reactions:
"I mean, it's like the iBlame sounds like a kewl idea. As long as he can blame someone else for the problem and send bloggers to prison, he can keep making stuff for me to throw more money at him right? Screw those orphans and dying dogs, I donated 10 cents through an SMS from my $200 phone I never needed. I am like, that's sooo 21st century!"
I pointed to another customer that the iPhone may have functionality issues. His response was, "Even if he sold crap in a white box, I would buy it". When I pointed out the irony in his statement, unaffected, he said, "Well, there you go".
So, do you think I will be able to tweet myself out of prison? Or hell?
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Actually, I am a bit surprised why it doesn't become a big deal when he runs out of toilet paper. iToilet paper? Toilet iPaper?
Anyway, I was roaming around the streets and one more of Apple's drunk engineers (coming soon: iAA or iApple for the vagabond inebriates) had a prototype of the latest product that will be announced at the "conference" tomorrow!
So, if you hear that the Silicon Valley cops (having solved all other crimes, they are ready to function as Jobs' private security using my tax money) arrest me by tomorrow for pre-releasing photos and descriptions of Apple's products, I hope you understand the sacrifice and pain I am going through for you..I am a blogger, not even a journalist...
So, what is the product going to be?
After throwing his jacket to the crowds and signing across the chests of raging fans, Steve Jobs will pull out of h...
At this point, as usual, the birds will stop flying, the waves will stop churning, babies will stop crying and the moon will eclipse.
iBlame!, the product
Yes! Steve Jobs has had enough. How can anyone even possibly, remotely doubt that he is
This product will have the following hitherto unknown functions that will fix all previously known issues:
In case of defect, damage, or even a complete lack of functionality on the part of any Apple product, the following will be the order in which Apple will place blame:
1. The hardware manufacturer (read Chinese teenagers) is to blame.
2. The third party service provider is to blame.
3. Mercury is retrograde
4. Saturn is shining his light up URa.....
5. It's bad juju, or Microsoft, hey, maybe it's Google, or those tribbles...!
6. It's Yamanoor Srihari's fault..
7. You, the customer (for further comprehension, consult Toyota, which likes to prove all it's customers are iDiots too).
Customer and Congressional Reaction
Even before iBlame is released, customer reaction has been anticipatorily rampant. For example, it appears that Democrat Senator Schumer has decided to
I also heard that Grassley and Rep Barton were pissed at Schumer because Schumer beat him to the race. Grassley was still writing one of his usual,
In any case, it is anticipated that one of the responses will be "Congress can go legislate itself".
Analysts' projections for iBlame's success:
The same analysts that brought you the financial success that the last three years have been, believe that iBlame will have the following successes:
1. No matter what happens, Apple won't have to recall it's devices. They can write fake code to show fake bars, or even attach twigs to white bricks for antennas.
2. Steve Jobs will continue to be God. After all, he survived his own, personal, special, private "Stock Backdating" scam. People who survive that can really do whatever the heck they please.
3. People will still continue to call Apple, it's design and products "innovative". After all, if you don't bother to find out what you are talking about.. (wait, did I say that loud?, ah, the backspace key fell off, shoulda bought Apple you know!).
4. Given how business friendly the Obama Administration has become, what with Goldman Sachs being asked to throw
More Customer Reaction
After I found out about the impending release of iBlame, I bid adieu to the intoxicated employee and decided to seek some more customer reaction.
Disclaimer: My interviews with Apple customers are as factual as the iPhone's signal bars...
Walking down the street, I talked to a few avid customers. Here are some reactions:
"I mean, it's like the iBlame sounds like a kewl idea. As long as he can blame someone else for the problem and send bloggers to prison, he can keep making stuff for me to throw more money at him right? Screw those orphans and dying dogs, I donated 10 cents through an SMS from my $200 phone I never needed. I am like, that's sooo 21st century!"
I pointed to another customer that the iPhone may have functionality issues. His response was, "Even if he sold crap in a white box, I would buy it". When I pointed out the irony in his statement, unaffected, he said, "Well, there you go".
So, do you think I will be able to tweet myself out of prison? Or hell?
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Toyota's customer service mantra: It's the customer that is stupid!
I have a favorite saying (I have many, but that's for another day): if there is an error, it must be the user...
It is one thing for people to call Toyota customers stupid, it is something really entertaining to watch Toyota do the same thing! And that, my dear friends is exactly what your not-so-friendly, the "cockroach of the freeways" (that's right, at the end of time, the Toyotas would still be running around - given the fact that they would have rammed the rest of us) now claims that you, the customer are to blame, not themselves...
After all, the Toyota was originally never designed to go anywhere close to the speed limit! So, when you depress the accelerator, the car turns into a Golden Retriever in a children's park!!
Now if you wanted appropriate acceleration, why would you buy a Toyota? That is why the company is calling you an idiot.
And then, there were those who bought the car after the news of the defects came out....
Well, what do you call the people who rush into buy a defective product just because it was offered on discount - yes, Virginia, there may very well be a Santa Claus (why not, Fox News has a viewership, yeah?), but sometimes Mom and Dad are just...
At the end of the day, if a Toyota gets behind you on the road...
References:
1. On Toyota strangling independent research into their safety:
Click Here
2. When Toyota called it's customers stupid:
Click Here
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
It is one thing for people to call Toyota customers stupid, it is something really entertaining to watch Toyota do the same thing! And that, my dear friends is exactly what your not-so-friendly, the "cockroach of the freeways" (that's right, at the end of time, the Toyotas would still be running around - given the fact that they would have rammed the rest of us) now claims that you, the customer are to blame, not themselves...
After all, the Toyota was originally never designed to go anywhere close to the speed limit! So, when you depress the accelerator, the car turns into a Golden Retriever in a children's park!!
Now if you wanted appropriate acceleration, why would you buy a Toyota? That is why the company is calling you an idiot.
And then, there were those who bought the car after the news of the defects came out....
Well, what do you call the people who rush into buy a defective product just because it was offered on discount - yes, Virginia, there may very well be a Santa Claus (why not, Fox News has a viewership, yeah?), but sometimes Mom and Dad are just...
At the end of the day, if a Toyota gets behind you on the road...
References:
1. On Toyota strangling independent research into their safety:
Click Here
2. When Toyota called it's customers stupid:
Click Here
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Fiorina's Intellectually Charged Campaign Message: I am so pretty and Boxer's hair is SO yesterday....
For all of you left leaning, tree hugging bunch of neo-liberal fruitcakes out there who predicted that Fiorina is trying to do the senate and world what she did to HP's already diminshed stock price and self esteem, she has a fitting reply - her campaign message.
In true conservative fashion, she has announced her campaign - making fun of Barbara Boxer's hair! (Yes, that is right, this right leaning, conservative, yet progressive leader (failure) of the commercial world has some serious issues with Boxer and her hair style).
After all, this is California, where people dress up and braid each other's hair.
Moreover, Fiorina must represent the best in what is happening to women candidates everywhere!
I say we all vote Fiorina to the senate, so that women everywhere will take keeping up with "today's" fashions and braiding their hair more seriously.
That, will take us back to the conservative "roots" where women belong. Not these career-minded, hoity toity women that have no respect for the lord and his desire to impregnate them as many times as it is religiously feasible...
As to her criticism of Hannity, it may have also been his hair style. If Republican men and their impartial media outlets didn't comb their hair...
For reference and other fun:
javascript:void(0)
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/06/09/state/n201015D93.DTL
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed. Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
In true conservative fashion, she has announced her campaign - making fun of Barbara Boxer's hair! (Yes, that is right, this right leaning, conservative, yet progressive leader (failure) of the commercial world has some serious issues with Boxer and her hair style).
After all, this is California, where people dress up and braid each other's hair.
Moreover, Fiorina must represent the best in what is happening to women candidates everywhere!
I say we all vote Fiorina to the senate, so that women everywhere will take keeping up with "today's" fashions and braiding their hair more seriously.
That, will take us back to the conservative "roots" where women belong. Not these career-minded, hoity toity women that have no respect for the lord and his desire to impregnate them as many times as it is religiously feasible...
As to her criticism of Hannity, it may have also been his hair style. If Republican men and their impartial media outlets didn't comb their hair...
For reference and other fun:
javascript:void(0)
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/06/09/state/n201015D93.DTL
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed. Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Monday, May 31, 2010
Israel - Aggressively Stupid or Stupidly Aggressive?
Along with many others in the world, I had thought that Israel suffered the consequences of terrorism. Now, I wonder.
Are you kidding me?
You land on an aid ship from choppers and start a fight.
The people on the ship attack you with sticks and you respond with guns.
Israel - you have gone mad.
The consequences?
I expect the consequences to be as follows:
1. First Obama, then Hillary will condemn Israel.
2. Then, egged on by Congress and every single Congressional vote they cannot loose, the world's most powerful man will grovel in front of Israel. In case you have ALREADY forgotten, that's what happened last time when they threw eggs at Biden, er, announced a new settlement.
3. A bunch of "Friends of Israel" will publish a full page SOB story ad in the New York Times or Wall Street Journal. We will all be reminded of Hitler - never mind that attacking unarmed people on boats is not much different. (I know, no one reads papers anymore, but this too has happened viz-a-viz, the settlement brouhaha.)
4. In a few days, we will all be more concerned with the "next Idol" or "brainless Chefs cooking tasteless food" on Bravo, or "Ghost Hunters Academy".
Israel's next target - orphanages or seniors' homes?
Meanwhile, we will be biting our nails to see if Israel will bomb a "Home for the Aged" or an orphanage. Obviously, kids and seniors can be very dangerous to Israel's "sovereignty" (yes, that's what we are calling it now) when armed with sticks and stones.
Idiots...
Are you kidding me?
You land on an aid ship from choppers and start a fight.
The people on the ship attack you with sticks and you respond with guns.
Israel - you have gone mad.
The consequences?
I expect the consequences to be as follows:
1. First Obama, then Hillary will condemn Israel.
2. Then, egged on by Congress and every single Congressional vote they cannot loose, the world's most powerful man will grovel in front of Israel. In case you have ALREADY forgotten, that's what happened last time when they threw eggs at Biden, er, announced a new settlement.
3. A bunch of "Friends of Israel" will publish a full page SOB story ad in the New York Times or Wall Street Journal. We will all be reminded of Hitler - never mind that attacking unarmed people on boats is not much different. (I know, no one reads papers anymore, but this too has happened viz-a-viz, the settlement brouhaha.)
4. In a few days, we will all be more concerned with the "next Idol" or "brainless Chefs cooking tasteless food" on Bravo, or "Ghost Hunters Academy".
Israel's next target - orphanages or seniors' homes?
Meanwhile, we will be biting our nails to see if Israel will bomb a "Home for the Aged" or an orphanage. Obviously, kids and seniors can be very dangerous to Israel's "sovereignty" (yes, that's what we are calling it now) when armed with sticks and stones.
Idiots...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Happy Birthday "gre-success"
Many of you who have known me for a while have seen me brag about my graduate admissions help group "gre-success". Started nine years ago, this group has come to be a great source of learning and joy for me. We have found several volunteers, some of whom have come and gone, and many who have stayed.
If you are looking at graduate studies, or know of someone, tell them of us. If you simply want to enter into spirited discussions on the English language and it's usage (since we discuss GRE, TOEFL, other standardized tests and the oddities associated with the language skills tested...), join us!
We have provided students with suggestions on the tests, the application processes, and the schools they apply to. Where necessary, we have warned students of pitfalls, and we are always looking to improve our services.
Visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gre-success/ and our adjoining, budding wiki site,
http://gre-success.pbworks.com/ and wish the group many great years of service ahead!
If you are looking at graduate studies, or know of someone, tell them of us. If you simply want to enter into spirited discussions on the English language and it's usage (since we discuss GRE, TOEFL, other standardized tests and the oddities associated with the language skills tested...), join us!
We have provided students with suggestions on the tests, the application processes, and the schools they apply to. Where necessary, we have warned students of pitfalls, and we are always looking to improve our services.
Visit
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gre-success/ and our adjoining, budding wiki site,
http://gre-success.pbworks.com/ and wish the group many great years of service ahead!
Thursday, May 06, 2010
How many South Carolina folks does it take to catch an emu?
Now I am not Erle Stanley Gardner (and thus he slumbers peacefully in his grave). If I were, I would have quaintly called it "The Case of the Runaway Emu". Yet, I wonder how many people that title would attract.
If I was Wordsworth (a whole bunch of British people would be pissed that Indians are NOW stealing poetry!), title would read, "Posting garbage about emus on a sunny day in May"
Secretly though, I think the blog title should read: How to take a very simple story and make a blog post out if it. Anyway, enough of that...
On to the aviary. Apparently an emu decided that he/she should pull an "I, Robot" and hit the road. I am sorry, but we humans are not ready to give birds freedom.
What a chicken, I mean emu! If you really wanted to take off, you should have taken, er, flight..(just remembered they can't do that, failing biology doesn't really help, sigh!)
Now, if the emu had Indian parents...they would have said: "Fly damn it. Look at the pigeons. Even the crows do it. You run fast and flap. Flap! Oh, why is God doing this to me...!" I am telling you, even the dead emus would fly!
So how many people from South Carolina does it take?
To answer the 64 Euro (whose value has no bottom) question, it takes, er 50 people. You know, it doesn't help Southern Pride much, given this cornucopia of urban bird chasers included the police and animal control folks.
And to think, a humble net did the trick.
It's back to the drawing board for the gallivanting emu!
Reference:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/05/05/ap/strange/main6463133.shtml?tag=cbsnewsLeadStoriesAreaMain;cbsnewsLeadStoriesHeadlines
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed. Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
If I was Wordsworth (a whole bunch of British people would be pissed that Indians are NOW stealing poetry!), title would read, "Posting garbage about emus on a sunny day in May"
Secretly though, I think the blog title should read: How to take a very simple story and make a blog post out if it. Anyway, enough of that...
On to the aviary. Apparently an emu decided that he/she should pull an "I, Robot" and hit the road. I am sorry, but we humans are not ready to give birds freedom.
What a chicken, I mean emu! If you really wanted to take off, you should have taken, er, flight..(just remembered they can't do that, failing biology doesn't really help, sigh!)
Now, if the emu had Indian parents...they would have said: "Fly damn it. Look at the pigeons. Even the crows do it. You run fast and flap. Flap! Oh, why is God doing this to me...!" I am telling you, even the dead emus would fly!
So how many people from South Carolina does it take?
To answer the 64 Euro (whose value has no bottom) question, it takes, er 50 people. You know, it doesn't help Southern Pride much, given this cornucopia of urban bird chasers included the police and animal control folks.
And to think, a humble net did the trick.
It's back to the drawing board for the gallivanting emu!
Reference:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/05/05/ap/strange/main6463133.shtml?tag=cbsnewsLeadStoriesAreaMain;cbsnewsLeadStoriesHeadlines
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed. Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
