Saturday, January 01, 2011

And in today's "What the dickens" - woman who wants to save the world from extinction abducts 4!

That's right, you read the title! You can read the story as reported in Mercury News, and it reads like a January's fool kinda news story. Here is a slice lifted from the article "kidnapping, false imprisonment, evading police, reckless evasion, resisting arrest and violating a red light into a one-way tunnel".

In case you are wondering what all that is - those are the charges they made while arresting, what might turn out to be a very interesting character named Lark Ann Freeman.

It appears that Lark here calls her profession "saving the world".This summarily the ends the search for someone more egotistical than men who wear white frocks...

As part of her strategy to save the world, which apparently was to end yesterday..and thank God, this blog is still here, ha ha, she decided to kidnap 4 men. She managed to tell three of them that she would pay them money to help her move, and naturally they got into a van operated by a total stranger. The last one - well he was guaranteed a free smoke.

I am not sure exactly how she planned to use these 4 geniuses to save the world from ending, but if she was going to clean the world off stupid people, 4 at a time, being an idiot herself didn't seem to have helped. On what was not such a routine stop involving her straddling lanes, she rammed through a one-way tunnel the wrong way and when she finally stopped...

Number One to the rescue!

That's right - except not the number one you are thinking of. Lark wasn't alone, and together with her passengers she refused to get out when asked to do so. In the meanwhile, the 74 year old guy who succumbed to the desire for a free cigarette decided he couldn't hold it anymore and decided to get out of the cab and apart from letting go, also reveal that there were three more captors in the U-Haul truck...

The questions

While we can all rest easy that Ms. Lark and Co. will not be saving us at least this weekend while she is held on bail, I am sure you, like me have several questions...

1. Why is it okay to get into a stranger's van, just because she is a woman? Sexist and stupid? Yes, granted, the fact that she had a U-Haul van did make it look like she moves..

2. When one of the captives tried calling 911, they were unable to get the call across - what is with that?

3. How did this woman get a license? How did she manage to rent a U-Haul truck? Where do nut jobs like this get their money for all this - I would like to know - the saving the world business does seem to be pretty lucrative till you start straddling lanes and running red lights on the opposite side of one way tunnels...

4. Was this all just a PR-exercise. And if so, what is the point?


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?