Monday, October 26, 2009

Poisoned at Harvard

This falls out of the realm of "funny" news items.

I was a little surprised to read on the NPR website yesterday, about a few folks being poisoned by coffee laced with Sodium Azide, a toxic chemical used in bio-lab work. What was intriguing was that this news item appeared in NPR and NPR only.

I was telling a friend as to how intriguing this was. Later, I found out that there was an attempt by Harvard to keep this under wrap for whatever reason.

Anyway, Slate and others are now taking it mainstream:

http://slatest.slate.com/id/2233658/?wpisrc=newsletter

I am betting this is one of those animal-loving terrorist groups at work...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

What your useless article on what your car says about you, says about you....

Writing has become so easy. You can take anything, however unrealistic, useless or off the mark and publish it.

Today morning, a stellar example landed on my laptop via Forbes.com. Apparently, the car you drive says a lot about you..

Remember the crap from the '60s (or the East Coast) when people believed in such nonsense?

Well, it's on it's way back because someone at forbes.com (the Fox TV of the internet?) has too much time and nothing sensible to write.

I will link the article at the bottom and you can laugh at this creepy nonsense yourself, but people should be buying cars for what they are - functional tools of transportation.

Apparently owning a Ford Taurus would group me among people who do not have a college degree or skills to surf the interwebs - the collection of tubes through which electricities flows and forbes.commode is able to send it's trash my way.

Yeah, right. I have 3 college degrees, an array of Professional certifications and that's only because I stopped collecting degrees. And, with equally too much time on my hands, mesa always surfs the websites.

Owning a Honda makes you practical?

How?

Unless you work for Honda, the company, or own stock in it, why the heck would it be any better than owning, say a Buick or a Toyota Corolla?

Mind you though, it is not just the genius who wrote the article that got it all wrong:

Anyone watch the Subaru ads on TV lately?

It says the Subaru is for people who don't wash their cars from being unclean or stupid, or simply because they like other men who own Subarus. A new one popped up where the guy who owns the Subaru is a complete idiot who simply goes around looking for things he misplaces.

Positive impact indeed. I wonder if advertising is the right industry for me. Then I too can siphon tons of cash from organizations and portray their products in a poor light. And as long as there are fools that read ignominious articles and buy crap...

Stereotyping People

First, we differentiate people on their skin color. Then on their height. Then on their cankles. And then there was the "study" that talked about the "member" size of Indians (yeah, right, small is good...look we have what 1.1 billion Indians?).

Stupidity comes in several shades. And some people just egg this along.

Imagine this, someone drives up to you on a Chevy truck. You immediately decide he is stupid and you treat him thus.

What does that make you? Homo sapiens disgustus?

Stop judging people until you get to know them. It is impossible not to judge people. Pragmatically, it is necessary to judge people. However, the underlying mechanism is very, very important.

So should I have judged this Forbes writer?

Click Here to find out about how to use cars to judge people...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Monday, October 19, 2009

In this week's "what the": Maybe he thought it was a "bear cooler"?

A 125 pound bear is not formidable, right?

Yeah, maybe, but if he walks into a store and climbs into a "beer cooler", you are formidable-ed....

Hmm, what I wonder is, if this is one of those bears who didn't graduate high school.. he thought he was a "beer" or that the thing he climbed into was a "bear cooler".

To understand this mystery, go to:
http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/64674327.html

And a "slide show" from the store's camera:
http://www.jsonline.com/multimedia/photos/64678767.html?index=1


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Friday, October 16, 2009

This week's discrimination chronicles: Don't give your fat inter-racial kid that Barbie doll...it will affect her body self-image

Pre-Script: If you don't get sarcasm and cynicism, the following is not for you

Barbie ('s ankle) is fat...

I didn't say that...it is the French guy who thinks Barbie has fat ankles did.

And those fat ankles are called "cankles". It is not everyday that I add to my vocabulary. Heck, I am happy if it happens once a week (or was that weak?). The last time I added to my vocabulary was when someone said "Don't be disrespecting me now."

For those of you who did not get the last sentence and it's apparent error - God is shining shame on you (this copied from a crazy nut job I saw judging a dance contest with unemployable high-school dropouts contorting themselves on those fleeting moments when I was flipping through MTV). "Disrespecting" as a verb is at least as of now, not really relished in formal English.

Screw the English.

But wait, we digress, screw z French.

There is some French guy who is redesigning the Barbie doll. Talk about the jobs going to other countries...(I wonder where they are designing the new GI Joe! My wonder is mostly academic, mind you!)

And this fool decided that Barbie's ankles are a little too fat for his taste. And he is redesigning the doll to have, I am guessing "appropriate" ankles.

This genius is making Gov. Corzine (of the Christie threw his weight around fame) of New Jersey look like the tooth fairy.

Like I said, just don't get your fat kid the Barbie doll. Get her a computer instead. Let the French raise bulimic women....

Click here for that story

And yeah, and tell her she can't get a marriage license if she wants to marry a black man in Louisiana.

Here is that story

Shut up and listen to him. Think of what will happened to those half-race kids these couples would raise! He has a lot of "black" friends who come in from the plantations and he buys them beer...

Welcome to the 21st century where we have solved America's racist problems....!


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Man sleeps through fire, will try nuclear explosion next...

Talk about a sound sleeper. This guy was asleep (someone should check if he was conscious though, all jokes aside) through a fire that led his house to burn down and collapse partially!

I mean, was he thinking he was in a bad dream? You gotta be really, really lucky!

And the story says he "woke up". I wonder if he had to be woken up.

I have a couple of career suggestions for him:

1. Don't apply for bank security jobs.

2. Try to get elected - any public office will do. And go Republican...er, did I say that one out loud?

Click Here for the official story


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

And in today's "What the..." edition:

What has the world come to? Some woman with intellectual issues walks into a coat shop and says she just won the lottery and is going to pay for everyone who buys a coat at that shop.

Alright, she is nuts, magoo, mango, off the rock, has loose screws...so on, you might say (I would say, it is possible she is a politician?).

What the hell is wrong with all the idiots who believed this woman and crowded the store?

The sad part is, they only arrested the woman. What about all the idiots? Aren't they also of no sound mind?

Enjoy today's what the...

Click Here

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

And in today's "What the...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?