Sunday, August 29, 2010

Microsoft's "titillating" s*xcapades..

It was really hard to come up with a title for the post. Not that the topic was a tough one, but that there are so many titles that there is no end...however, I chose "titillating" from the article referenced here. It seems quaintly appropriate.

And I know I am a little late on the post, but when it comes to s*x and Microsoft one is never...eh, let's move on.

Feigning Innocence!

Microsoft was organizing some sort of IT brouhaha in Australia. Now, I have not been there, and I would rather not...in case you don't know, they kill Indians and the police pretend it's not racism. Anyhoo..

They decided to "titillate" the IT folks attending the conference to some "meter maids". No, not to teach them the virtues of appropriate parking, the other kind. What other kind? Well, the "gentlemen's club" kind, the kind as Lisa Scottoline would put it, where no "gentlemen" would ever go!

Well, when you hear "meter maids" being used as a "titillation", what do you think?

Yeah, me too. Apparently though, Microsoft didn't expect the meter maids to show up, er, half naked...although if you did a photographic comparison of the surface area to clothed area, you would notice "half" doesn't cut, er, cover it.

So, anyone here buying Microsoft's feigned innocence?

You might, if this was the first time that Microsoft decided to get some extra "help" to encourage their Israeli resellers, if you may.

http://ysrihari.blogspot.com/2010/01/sex-scandal-computers-and-illicit.html

Wait there's more!

You didn't think I would leave you with a soporific post about Microsoft hiring hookers did you? I hope not. What would be the value if this blog chronicled things sans the irony they bring to the doorstep of our inner eyes? You are right I am stretching the point, just filling space to keep the suspense going and all that...

The conference included a section called "Women in IT". Well, if you stepped back and said, "So, what's the big deal?", there is definitely something wrong with you. Or, you may fit right in with Microsoft's marketing department. Who knows?

Much tweeting followed of course - that is right, hire a few meter maids, offend a few women and then hoist your women employees' to tweet down any sign of dissent or protest - a great strategy, any day!

The question I have is, if Microsoft had hired any available "Meter Men" would any of us be saying the same things about men being objectified? Or is that the wrong conclusion to draw?

In any case, the next time Microsoft holds a conference, I want in...wonder what they will do next!

It must be so much fun working at Microsoft. Oh why did I not focus on learning about pointers and work at Microsoft. Damn you all!

References:

1. http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/meter-maids-stunt-backfires-at-microsoft-geek-gathering-20100826-13t2f.html

2. http://www.metermaids.com/

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Scr** "The HP Way", I say let's have Hurd run for Congress...the "New" Silicon Valley way...

Among the rather "blah" news we were delivered this week is the fact that Hurd used HP funds to er, pay for his "sexual harassment"!

Then the vultures descended. Apparently, people can't pay for their affairs with company money. And then there is this HP way people keep talking about. Ethics, shmethics...look, once you have fairly ruined a company in Silicon Valley....things start looking up!

Where should we start?

Well, look at Fiorina. She took HP's stock, well, er, let's not go there shall we? And for that singular achievement, she wants to replace Barbara Boxer...

And then, there is the MEG. eBay stocks floored and co-workers got shoved and then settlements took place, but hey, who better for the Governor of California.

So, it would be good for Michael Malone keep talking about the HP way, innovation and all that. Isn't the game - buy random companies, fire thousands of workers, shove a few workers, do other stuff to a few more and then run for office as ... ?

Come on!

Since some of our Silicon Valley "behemoths" (shall we just call them that?) have already taken up the severely selfless task of wanting to be Governor and Senator, I think we need to add a few, such as Hurd to the House, and simply ignore all these detractors who want innovation, care for employees and such...

I mean, did you release a device knowing it had reception issues? Well, first blame the carrier and then fire some random executive for your "antennagate". Unfortunately, we can't ask HIM to run for office, he is already God...

This, my dear friends, is the "New" Silicon Valley way! Come...!! Be one of our executives that shade outside the bounds of ethics and law and run for office!!!

Reference:

To see Michael Malone's anachronistic rant of the "old ways":

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN0822209420100808

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Prop 8, a great model to bankrupt the Mormon "all" churches...

Preface: The summer of blog, my effort to blog as I continue to stay busy continues, and this blog, posted with pleasure, is of course not nearly as funny and is more a real "weblog" or commentary. Unlike "internet thief" Julian Assange, I have my own opinions, the making of a real journalist, trained, paid or otherwise.

Prop 8 was overturned today, August 4th, 2010. It is not a victory, and a victory that should never have existed anyway. The Mormon church and it's faithfuls of other religions (you would be surprised how religious congregations come together when it is time to spread hatred) hoisted this on Californians (including tax payers like me) and had us spend money defending something that should have been a God an Evolution given right to our state anyway.

This got me thinking - they already wanted a stay, so they have the money to spend on it. And they want to take this to the "conservative" (apparently this is what we are calling it nowadays) Supreme Court.

So, why not give them a run for their money? How about we keep them engaged, constantly, legally?

Like go to Utah and try to pass legislation on gay marriage, for example. Or in any number of states. They will come for a fight, right?

How long can they go on promoting inequality? How long will people buy hatred as a church message? Why not test and find out?

After all, they have already experienced moral bankruptcy...

After all, their "refudiater"-in-chief's daughter couldn't even hold a sham engagement long enough...what do these people really know about marriage? Not a lot, you betcha!

Imaging if any of these geniuses spent money on cleaning pedophiles off their own churches. Oh well, we can't allow a good thing get in the way of targeting minorities, right?

Well, now that Prop 8 has been stemmed temporarily, don't think we are done. Next up, Prop 23....


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Sunday, August 01, 2010

How do bad email campaigns "effect" me? They "effect"ively make me mad..thank you IBM and V3

Alright, you get paid for writing stuff and stuffing people's emails.

You also get to call yourself editors and such other wonderful titles.

You haven't had any reason to prove Green's Theorem, or worry about Bessel's functions for a day in your life.

You have had to write crap about Keats and Wordsworth (and yes, I was and continue to be better at that as well).

You get paid more than people who routinely function better than you.

But you can't spell?

Alright, dramatic effects (or was it affects?) aside, here is what grinds my gears:


Do click on the magical wonder that the screen-shot is.

Here are a few thoughts to some of our friendly, neighborhood editors and marketing geniuses:

1. Go back to grammar school.

2. Alternately, simply go away!

3. Find a different job, one that doesn't involve spelling in the only language you know (this newsletter comes from two companies, one in the United Kingdom and one in the former colonies)

4. Use "spell checkers". Not, Chinese checkers - I am not saying Chinese people are bad at checking grammar (they are probably better than you, given, er...). I am referring to the game, "Chinese Checkers".

5. Show up to work a little less drunk...

Irony

The irony of this email campaign involves the following:

1. questioning how inaccurate information effects, er, affects, er, who knows,  me.

2. presenting me with a tool called "smartfacts" (the space in-between or the lack thereof could be an error, or not, or, again, who knows?).

It amazes me that some of us have to work so much harder than the others....or work at all!

Still confused?

Here is how affect and effect differ:

http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/affect.html

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?