Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Just how important is coffee?

I call coffee my only vice. It is the one thing I have tried to survive without, and have managed poorly. Uh-oh, have I revealed more than I should?

Turns out, coffee is very, very important. Some guy stops the hero of our story and asks him for cash. Perhaps, our hero wanted the cash to buy some coffee. Anyway, the hapless assailant ends up stabbing the dude.

No problem, he just walks up to an apartment complex looking for someone to call 911. No one there to help him.

Again, no problem.

He uses a pay phone to call the ambulance.

Big Deal. What happened next is the most important thing.

He walked up to a store, calmly asked for some coffee and consumed it. That is the true mark of a hero. And, it sums up pretty well - coffee, my dear, is the most important thing in the world. If you have coffee, you can handle anything...even a big plate stuck in your chest...

The Story:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34516926/ns/local_news-detroit_mi/


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I am deeply disappointed over the Indian Congress Government...

Prologue: It is the moral right (and obligation) of politicians to want to fast until death. Some would consider it to be more convenient if they die faster too, but that is altogether another thing...

On December 14, an elected Indian politician landed at a state capital to "fast unto death". Violating his right to do so, and the people's desire that he do so, the nefarious Congress Government arrested the politician, even though he belonged to their own party!

I find this absolutely appalling. We should give all of our politicians such chances to launch fasts. Heck, we should encourage them to do so!

The next time a politician shows up at your doorstep looking for votes, you should ask him considering the fact that he is shamelessly alive, why did he not choose a practically inoculate cause and try and die for it.

You should ask his party if it has a track record of trying to arrest and prevent any of it's rank and file from trying to leave us (in peace).

You should ask political parties what they have done to encourage more and more of their politicians to find causes and become passionate enough to try and kill themselves.

After all, what better sacrifice could one ask for, be it in the name of the country, the name of a state, it's bifurcation, or the fact that almost all politicians are summarily useless and will never be missed...?

Here is a link to the story that delineates what sad future lies for those of us who expect politicians to jump off cliffs:

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics/nation/Andhra-MP-Rajagopal-arrested-at-Hyderabad-airport/articleshow/5335339.cms


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Bank of America or Scoundrels of America?

As per "blogosphere" norms, I am late with this post, but it is something worth posting, nevertheless. The whole point of bailing out these banks should have been to discipline them, and prevent them from stealing public money through "special fees", right?

Then how come every single one of them gets away with it? Why are they constantly allowed to increase interest rates (I know the law limiting credit card rates was passed but before it went into effect, they sent letters to many customers and increased their interest rates).

So, the government bailed the banks out and pushed taxpayers into the well..

Isn't that cute? Now, here is another YouTube video of the inner workings of "Bank" of America:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5E0WNO7e_Q&feature=player_embedded#watch-main-area


Next time your Congressman or Congresswoman (especially the Republican kind that don't want any kind of regulation) knocks on your door for votes, ask them about this video...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Los Angeles - where the church is truly separate from the state, and, of course ahead of it...

Thanks to the fine idiots from Utah, California turned from blue chip to dead wood in 2008 with Proposition 8. Now, California is NOT one of the states where people can simply marry without Jesus, Dad and their hoodlums breathing down their necks.

So from bragging about the Californication of America, we now have to worry about the Utahfornication of California.

Usually, when we lament about the church and state being joined at the hips, we talk about the church holding back the state.

Only, today, history was made in Los Angeles when a lesbian, the Rev. Canon Mary D. Glasspool became the Bishop.

So, we are once again proud to present sunny, weird, California, where at least one of the churches is practicing tolerance instead of funding garbage. One of our churches has separated from the state, and has actually moved on!

What does your church do? Hide pedophilism and theorizes that god hates gays and wants you to donate money to interfere in California's social life?

Proud of it?


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

In this FOX News "mens-duh" puzzle, Republicans have a 193% chance of winning in 2012...

It has begun. It being the 2012 campaign. Looks like it has also ended quickly, because between Huckabee, Palin and Romney, they have a 193% chance of winning.

Before you go questioning things, you should visit a page that I have linked at the bottom of this post to make sure you painfully read through all this before going on to the actually interesting part..

The Omnistupid Fox News, in it's infinite GOP-dom, played a pie chart, showing that 60% of Republicans back Romney, 63% Huckabee and 70% Palin.

The Source?

Er, Opinions.

Hey, it's all there - a nice little pie chart, showing how much support each candidate has. Still confused? Well, time to vote republican, er, time to get an explanation.

In the traditional world of left leaning, tree climbing... , a pie chart ends up adding to a total of 100% and the individual components cannot have a percentage that forces the pie chart to add to a sum total greater than 100%.

Basic Math - A Liberal Conspiracy

Of course, Fox News is the only right news. All this pie chart brouhaha proves is that mathematics is another one of those bottom feeding liberal policies they teach in schools to try and pollute our children's minds.

Wait till someone hacks into a math professor's emails and proves that all math is, is a bunch of tricks.....

In reality, it proves that if you took the collective intelligence of everyone working for Rupert Murdoch, and expressed them as percentages, they will amount to less than a sum total of 100% - one brain.

And that, is where all the money and media power rests.

Enjoy:

http://www.vizworld.com/2009/11/dreadful-fox-news-2012-election-infographic/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dreadful-fox-news-2012-election-infographic



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

And in this week's "Aaaawww" then "Snap!" moment...

Thieving is not for the faint of heart, nor for the kind at heart. Our friendly, neighborhood burglar-man breaks into a house and starts stealing and "ransacking" stuff in his traditional manner of lore.

Turns out there was a baby in the house. While he decided to warm up a bottle and feed the crying baby (makes thou wonderest what the hell the parents were doing while all this went on), some equally handsomely employed person watched the surveillance video on a newscast?!!

What the devil was a newscast doing, showing a surveillance video?

Don't ask. This has now gone past the Marishka Hargitay, Jennifer Love Hewitt Territory into the Twilight Zone.

Why did the burglar decide to feed the baby? Was it compassion? Or a way to keep the burglary free of purple haze?

Why do people in Indiana get surveillance videos as newscasts?

Oh well....like I said, "Aaaawww" and "Snap!"

For the article: Click Here

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Poisoned at Harvard

This falls out of the realm of "funny" news items.

I was a little surprised to read on the NPR website yesterday, about a few folks being poisoned by coffee laced with Sodium Azide, a toxic chemical used in bio-lab work. What was intriguing was that this news item appeared in NPR and NPR only.

I was telling a friend as to how intriguing this was. Later, I found out that there was an attempt by Harvard to keep this under wrap for whatever reason.

Anyway, Slate and others are now taking it mainstream:

http://slatest.slate.com/id/2233658/?wpisrc=newsletter

I am betting this is one of those animal-loving terrorist groups at work...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

What your useless article on what your car says about you, says about you....

Writing has become so easy. You can take anything, however unrealistic, useless or off the mark and publish it.

Today morning, a stellar example landed on my laptop via Forbes.com. Apparently, the car you drive says a lot about you..

Remember the crap from the '60s (or the East Coast) when people believed in such nonsense?

Well, it's on it's way back because someone at forbes.com (the Fox TV of the internet?) has too much time and nothing sensible to write.

I will link the article at the bottom and you can laugh at this creepy nonsense yourself, but people should be buying cars for what they are - functional tools of transportation.

Apparently owning a Ford Taurus would group me among people who do not have a college degree or skills to surf the interwebs - the collection of tubes through which electricities flows and forbes.commode is able to send it's trash my way.

Yeah, right. I have 3 college degrees, an array of Professional certifications and that's only because I stopped collecting degrees. And, with equally too much time on my hands, mesa always surfs the websites.

Owning a Honda makes you practical?

How?

Unless you work for Honda, the company, or own stock in it, why the heck would it be any better than owning, say a Buick or a Toyota Corolla?

Mind you though, it is not just the genius who wrote the article that got it all wrong:

Anyone watch the Subaru ads on TV lately?

It says the Subaru is for people who don't wash their cars from being unclean or stupid, or simply because they like other men who own Subarus. A new one popped up where the guy who owns the Subaru is a complete idiot who simply goes around looking for things he misplaces.

Positive impact indeed. I wonder if advertising is the right industry for me. Then I too can siphon tons of cash from organizations and portray their products in a poor light. And as long as there are fools that read ignominious articles and buy crap...

Stereotyping People

First, we differentiate people on their skin color. Then on their height. Then on their cankles. And then there was the "study" that talked about the "member" size of Indians (yeah, right, small is good...look we have what 1.1 billion Indians?).

Stupidity comes in several shades. And some people just egg this along.

Imagine this, someone drives up to you on a Chevy truck. You immediately decide he is stupid and you treat him thus.

What does that make you? Homo sapiens disgustus?

Stop judging people until you get to know them. It is impossible not to judge people. Pragmatically, it is necessary to judge people. However, the underlying mechanism is very, very important.

So should I have judged this Forbes writer?

Click Here to find out about how to use cars to judge people...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Monday, October 19, 2009

In this week's "what the": Maybe he thought it was a "bear cooler"?

A 125 pound bear is not formidable, right?

Yeah, maybe, but if he walks into a store and climbs into a "beer cooler", you are formidable-ed....

Hmm, what I wonder is, if this is one of those bears who didn't graduate high school.. he thought he was a "beer" or that the thing he climbed into was a "bear cooler".

To understand this mystery, go to:
http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/64674327.html

And a "slide show" from the store's camera:
http://www.jsonline.com/multimedia/photos/64678767.html?index=1


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Friday, October 16, 2009

This week's discrimination chronicles: Don't give your fat inter-racial kid that Barbie doll...it will affect her body self-image

Pre-Script: If you don't get sarcasm and cynicism, the following is not for you

Barbie ('s ankle) is fat...

I didn't say that...it is the French guy who thinks Barbie has fat ankles did.

And those fat ankles are called "cankles". It is not everyday that I add to my vocabulary. Heck, I am happy if it happens once a week (or was that weak?). The last time I added to my vocabulary was when someone said "Don't be disrespecting me now."

For those of you who did not get the last sentence and it's apparent error - God is shining shame on you (this copied from a crazy nut job I saw judging a dance contest with unemployable high-school dropouts contorting themselves on those fleeting moments when I was flipping through MTV). "Disrespecting" as a verb is at least as of now, not really relished in formal English.

Screw the English.

But wait, we digress, screw z French.

There is some French guy who is redesigning the Barbie doll. Talk about the jobs going to other countries...(I wonder where they are designing the new GI Joe! My wonder is mostly academic, mind you!)

And this fool decided that Barbie's ankles are a little too fat for his taste. And he is redesigning the doll to have, I am guessing "appropriate" ankles.

This genius is making Gov. Corzine (of the Christie threw his weight around fame) of New Jersey look like the tooth fairy.

Like I said, just don't get your fat kid the Barbie doll. Get her a computer instead. Let the French raise bulimic women....

Click here for that story

And yeah, and tell her she can't get a marriage license if she wants to marry a black man in Louisiana.

Here is that story

Shut up and listen to him. Think of what will happened to those half-race kids these couples would raise! He has a lot of "black" friends who come in from the plantations and he buys them beer...

Welcome to the 21st century where we have solved America's racist problems....!


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Man sleeps through fire, will try nuclear explosion next...

Talk about a sound sleeper. This guy was asleep (someone should check if he was conscious though, all jokes aside) through a fire that led his house to burn down and collapse partially!

I mean, was he thinking he was in a bad dream? You gotta be really, really lucky!

And the story says he "woke up". I wonder if he had to be woken up.

I have a couple of career suggestions for him:

1. Don't apply for bank security jobs.

2. Try to get elected - any public office will do. And go Republican...er, did I say that one out loud?

Click Here for the official story


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

And in today's "What the..." edition:

What has the world come to? Some woman with intellectual issues walks into a coat shop and says she just won the lottery and is going to pay for everyone who buys a coat at that shop.

Alright, she is nuts, magoo, mango, off the rock, has loose screws...so on, you might say (I would say, it is possible she is a politician?).

What the hell is wrong with all the idiots who believed this woman and crowded the store?

The sad part is, they only arrested the woman. What about all the idiots? Aren't they also of no sound mind?

Enjoy today's what the...

Click Here

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

And in today's "What the...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Monday, September 21, 2009

Can we at least separate the church from the bras (and the Catholic priests from the k..)

[Please click on the following to read original article]

Cancer is a big deal. Breast cancer is worse. Why?

For one, we don't have a cure for it, heck, we don't even catch it on time.

So, we need people to be aware of the disease and it's seriousness.

On that note, a tiny radio station decided to dangle bras off a street in some random city.

Enter the Catholic School Principal, their motto being: "Do as we tell you, our priests of course are exempted".

Is it not enough that Roman Catholics actually do not want patients to get treated for cancer?

Apparently, this Principal claimed that "children should not see undergarments". Excuse me? Don't we want them to wear some so that they don't catch diseases or priests of a certain religious following, er, certain diseases don't catch them?

So don't kids already know about undergarments? And isn't most of our perversion achieved through the sexification of items, rather than the items themselves?

So, we are extremely unsuccessful from getting the Catholic Church's teeth off Presidencies (Obama wasted public money visiting the Pope), or Supreme Courts (which is overflowing with Catholics).

And now we can't separate the damn (yes, I said it) church from Cancer or it's priests and Principals from our kids....

Please: Lead, Follow, or get the hell out of the way...

For more on this 21st century re-enactment of the 14th century stranglehold that Catholic Priests and Principals have on America and the rest of the world:

http://www.ketv.com/cnn-news/20992916/detail.html

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Monday, September 07, 2009

And this week's "Idiots we bailed out" winner is...Bank of America

So, there is this man who does not have arms, apparently due to a birth defect walks into Bank of America and wishes to cash a check made out to his wife. Bank of America ABSOLUTELY needs a thumbprint from you. Your disabilities? Your own problem! Don't you get it? What, are you slow?

Anyway, read the despicable account here:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/09/07/armless_bloke/


I guess their new and bailed out motto is: Bank of America - where the handless and other invalids are not allowed.

Of course, the progressive tax payers should be pleased at the turn of events.

Before you scream "WHAT!", let me explain.

See, bucking the trends from states like Texas, Bank of America now believes in EVOLUTION - survival of the fittest. Of what good is cash to a man without hands and can't spend the cash anyway? Why should the bank oblige and waste time?

Call it cost cutting, if you will!

It's just like when the monkeys won't pick up their babies if they fall down. It is just too much to take care of a monkey with a broken back. Awfully cute, but what's the point?

Of course, if he had only opened an account with BofA, everything would have been well. Some people just don't get it.

(A serious side note - Darwin, the father of evolution was not right in presuming "survival of the fittest".)

Hmm, wonder if Bank of America will adopt more such changes, just to help us with nostalgia - such as "Bank of America, W****s Only".

And here I was, thinking my bank, Wells Fargo was the Devil's sole spawn...

Why?

Read about that tragedy here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/04/business/economy/04wells.html?hpw


Angered? Bank of America Customer? Call them and ask them about their policies on Americans with Disabilities, and also definitely talk to them about the Florida incident and ask them what specific remedy have they done, other than random balderdash lip service...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Lynn Jenkins - Hello World, Sorry, I am not racist, just an i...

[Please click on the following to read original article]

Somehow, it appears to me that I could be a better Congressman (and no, no trans..gotchas here) than her.

The problem - I can beat KKK, I mean Kansas Congresswoman - just stuttered there. Sorry, I didn't mean to say she belongs to the Klan. Hopefully, the Klan members are understanding and forgive me. Or should Jenkins forgive me?

Maybe we should all buy each other some beers?

To read about the wonder Jenkins is: Click Here

Hey Jenkins, true, Obama might need a bright, white light shined on him (apparently that's what she meant).

How about you?

The good news here is that she has apologized instead of demanding one from us for possibly mis-under-representing her!

Why can't we find a better place to put our societal misfits? Why send them to Congress.

After all, there is Fox News....




Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sure, you love their neighbor, but how much?

Here comes the benchmark:

Two neighbors live next to each other for 30 years. One of them becomes sick, and the other helps her with car rides to dialysis stints at the Hospital and what not.

Later, she tops it off by donating her kidney as well....

How is that for feel good Monday?

Here is your link:

Click Here


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

America's gift to Indians on their Independence: Humiliation of their public figures at the airports

[Please click on the following to read original article]

Alright, Shah Rukh Khan is an entertainer. However, he is also a Muslim.

How can the U.S. Customs pass up this opportunity to show how they are better than India at handling religious minorities?

They detained him for 66 minutes (wonder what idiot was sitting around counting that).

However, what was more humiliating was when they did a personal padding on the most honored living Indian Abdul Kalam when he was about to board a flight to India.

Okay, genius (hey, I am not looking to be detained at an airport, so you should replace this with EXACTLY what I would like to say, after all, I am not even famous) is probably the personal property of the DHS, TSA and other Federal Agencies that know how to "Win Friends and Insult well meaning Indians Influence People"..

However, can someone please explain why India's movie stars are on TSA's list?

And as a taxpayer in the US, can I seek out a reason as to why TSA'S list of people to stop, bother and humiliate is so, so to speak, "listless"?

I am just thanking Jesus' Dad that Gandhi is not alive today to be detained by the TSA...


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Bing Vs. Apple Vs. Google

Okay, the internet is full of idiots. Rupert Murdoch wants to charge for all his online content. These two statements may or may not be related.

But, the hero idiot of our blog posting here went to Bing and searched for "Why are Windows Expensive?".

Then he complains that it comes up with "Why are Macs so expensive".

For one, it is a great way to force people to actually search on Bing!

Now for the twenty questions

Maybe because "Windows" is a family of products?

Maybe because Windows is not expensive? (Alright, that was self-contradictory. Like that is news).

Maybe because Macs are expensive?

What happens if you go to Google and type: "Why is Google so expensive"?

It proves you are an ignoramus.

Okay, offending your own readers != good for blog stats

charging your readers = ?

Anyway, as a way to castigate myself:

http://www.google.com/webhp?hl=en&sourceid=navclient-ff&rlz=1B3GGGL_enUS317US318&ie=UTF-8#rlz=1B3GGGL_enUS317US318&hl=en&q=Why+is+Google+so+expensive%3F&aq=f&oq=&aqi=&fp=-NOfmsAwees

Alright, now go forth and multiply (your searches that is..)

On the Bing o' Rama:

http://advice.cio.com/shane_oneill/bing_search_tainted_by_pro_microsoft_results?commentpage=1#commentslink

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Monday, August 03, 2009

With apple, where there is smoke there is a flame(-ing iPod?)

[Please click on the following to read original article]

Alright, this should only be the stuff of science fiction or stupid fiction, I don't know. You know, the story of a company gone mad?

Apple's legal team needs a vacation to reality (not away from it).

When you threaten people unreasonably, they will respond - only in the total opposite way of what you want.

I guess you would agree after reading the story, "Apple doesn't believe in first amendments" is a better title. Ever heard of a company with worse PR getting away with more?

Here is the rest of the story:

http://www.infoworld.com/d/mac/apple-accused-hushing-exploding-ipod-touch-claims-002?source=IFWNLE_nlt_wrapup_2009-08-03

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

CNET.com now to become CheapNet.com

[Please click on the following to read original article]

Getting attention is the dream for most bloggers, present company not being an exception. It is also the dream for the magazines that talk about Alien abductions and homosexual Presidents who hide their birth certificates.

One would hope that the difference between Fox News such magazines and good bloggers or journalists is that the latter would be "on the up and up".

Cnet.com apparently does not want to belong there. This afternoon, while lunching lazily, I was stalking Google News as usual, and there was a nice shiny red ball, I mean, an article/blog on how "Apple messes with your life". Naturally, I was lured, literally seduced, drawn in, charged, captivated...well you get the idea (hopefully, or put down the pipe).

And I read through an entire article feeling like I was still high from close contact with some much needed dish-washer fluid action. And then, I skimmed over to the comments section, only to be comforted that there were more who had been cheated by this timeshare salesman of the internet.

The blog/article is an inexorably bad exercise in cheap "hit-mongering". Throw in Apple and the iPhone and any idiot will read the story- except the internet is also the home for it's own infamous, instantaneous lynch mobs! So Chris Matyszczyk, the guy who wrote this brazen piece learns something about journalism.

Flimsy stories about iPhone-toting knuckleheads roaming the bars of Silicon Valley - describes about 95% of the people living in the Mar del Silicon, and there is absolutely nothing interesting about bringing out the fact that they spent most of their lives in close contacts with computers and as a consequence "lost it".

Hmm, hey did you hear Palin may be divorcing! See what reading CheapNet.com has made of me?

Reference:

Well, if I linked to this ill-famed blog posting I write about, I would be contradicting myself by giving it more hits..! Lol.


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Game On! : My Blog Vs. The Onion

[Please click on the following to read original article]

Alright I was just joking about my last post being better the Onion. Now, you get to decide for yourself:

Gojilla: http://ysrihari.blogspot.com/2009/07/apple-admits-iphone-is-national.html

King Kong: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/apple_claims_new_iphone_only?utm_source=a-section

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Apple Admits: iPhone is a national security threat

[Please click on the following to read original article]

In a shocking revelation, Apple has admitted that it has been creating weapons of ass destruction. Fearing that the DHS might already have too much on it's hands, and still wanting to let the Government know of it's acts, Apple decided to contact some government agency - ideally one that does not fully understand national security, has no means of handling national security but has the serendipitous nature of having too much time on it's hands - The Copyright Office.

In it's admission, Apple laid out the following:

1. The iPhone takes advantage of vicarious murderers customers with too much money on their hands and prevents Vegas' economy from benefiting through these guys.

2. It is possible for someone to collect a lot of iPhones in a bag, climb a tall building and launch it at unsuspecting passers-by on the streets below. Given the number of stray iPhones that can be collected and launched thusly, the statistical repercussions are simply alarming!

3. Since Apple has perfected the art of seducing greedy idiots (I mean, they mean, oh well...) customers into waiting unnecessarily for white bricks, it is quite possible that extra-ordinary as they are, the potential customers might take up arms against Apple..

4. Other possibilities exist, but in view of national security concerns, Apple decided to not disclose these to anyone except the relevant Federal Agency - the Copyright Office.

Solution Announced

In view of these extenuating circumstances and cognizant, measurable threats to national security, Apple views it as imperative that every customer who ever buys Apple products subject themselves to the personal scrutiny of Steve Jobs.

In a magnanimous gesture to the American populace (this national security threat does not extend to Europe whose Copyright offices, also with nothing better to do remain unaware of such revelations from Apple), Steve Jobs has agreed to approve every app, every Craigslist personals postings and every naked self-portrait generated by their customers to make sure that they don't contain anything objectionable to our security.

The Obama Administration Weighs In

Considering the gravity of the threat from iPhones, the Obama Administration is said to have launched a full blown search for the right person to buy free beers to diffuse the situation.

Please forward this important national security message to everyone you may know, or not know!

Reference: http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-19512_7-10298646-233.html?tag=nl.e703

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Yamanoor Srihari's quotes for the day: 07-29-2009

[Please click on the following to read original article]

1. Violate someone's constitutional rights and have a free beer on taxpayer money!

2.When marijuana was legalized in California, a lot of us were shocked, left asking, "Wait, what! So, it was illegal before? ...Dude, I must be so high right now!"

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Florida's Heuristic Criminal Scene!

[Please click on the following to read original article]

You gotta read about this guy who decided the best way to take off with a lot of cash was to be proverbial - lock, stock and barrel - in this case of course, no guns involved, just the entire cash register.

So, the Florida Police, in an incredible display of crime fighting ability caught him running down the street with the maligned cash register.

Here is where the problem begins:

The thief had stolen some lottery tickets just, on the yester day. And apparently these serendipitous crime-fighters had also just stepped out of viewing a video from another store where this philanderer had been on his now much hackneyed shenanigans. I wonder how he got off with the loot in that instance?

At this hair raising pace, I predict the following is bound to happen:

Florida's thieves might start understanding crime commission better, and slowly but surely grasp concepts such as thieving infrequently and with geographical choas for best results.

Florida's crime fighters will understand that thieves tend to be creatures of habit, and with a certain alacrity, thieves can be caught if videos of theft are viewed rather quickly than with gaps of an entire day in-between the plunder and the investigation.

The real question is:

Who do you think will get ahead over time?

And therein lies the beauty of an evolving heurestic crime scene

Following this axiom, I also postulate, given the nature of this evolution, a state like the one found in Florida could not, but have been created by a sub-intelligent "God"-like creature.

Eat that, Biologists!

For further s*its and giggles:

Click Here!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

What can Douglas Adams teach us about life?

[Please click on the following to read original article]

I have been told many times that I live in my own world. This is true. And in my own world, sometimes mistakes are made. One of them, was the fact that I had kept one or two copies (I am crazy about books and don't even know how many + how many copies of those many I have) of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and always thought it was probably an astronomy book I should read.

Hey don't blame me. Alright, maybe you should. But I also thought that Michael Jackson was indeed White for a whole while too..Naivete as the Francois put it.

Coming back to Douglas Adams, I went nuts when I first found out about "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe". This again, of course, involved my own assumptions of what he meant by the "end" and the consequential revelation almost a month later - yes, I savored every line of the book.

Yesterday or day before, I found this link and I thought I will share this with you:

http://www.questforbalance.com/2009/07/22/douglas-adams-guru/

I don't know about "Guru" - the idea of cowering to others of my own species gives me the creeps, but I sure do love Douglas Adams! By the time I found him and his writings, he has long passed.

However, Douglas Adams was never about sobering moments, so if you have not found him yet, I hope you do - through his writings of course!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

PG 17: Here's your "stimulus" plan - Lou Dobbs, a dumb nut or a fiduciary and copulatory clairvoyant?

[Please click on the following to read original article]

You might wonder what this strange title alludes to. And if so, you need to read this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/will-menaker/lou-dobbs-demands-to-see_b_243733.html

Apparently, Lou Dobbs is certain that Obama is faking his birth certificate. See, this actually is correct. Sargent Crowley was also right:

1. Just because a black man has an ID, doesn't mean he is actually a Harvard Professor.

2. Just because a black man has a birth certificate, doesn't mean he is an American Citizen either.

Naturally, we need to satisfy (oh God) Lou Dobb's curiosity by going back in time and videographing both the conception and the following delivery of Obama.

So, this is The Lou Dobb's Stimulus Plan:

1. Set off a race similar to the race to the moon for the invention of the time machine that will prove Obama's citizenship.

2. Create a great stimulus in the video recording, storage and playback industry to keep up with "Where American Babies Come From" Act.

I feel sorry for not ever doubting our beloved Bush as being the *est person I have known...

Enjoy!

On a more serious note, this plastic-smeller of the West is actually hosting a show on Obama's birth tonight: http://loudobbs.tv.cnn.com/

Foot Note: Thanks to Sriram Sarma for bringing Lou Dobbs into my world tonight.

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Thank You Obama!

[Please click on the following to read original article]

Being an African American President is easy. Being a Democrat President is not. Actually being a Democrat President who is outspoken is not!!!

What am I talking about?

The most recent comments by Obama on the Cambridgate issue. I was impatiently waiting for Obama to say something. I guess we must give the man credit, since he must have been really busy.

What I like is the forceful language. Before seeing Obama's opinions, I was going to blog about the insensitive clowns defending Cambridge PD with the title "This is why they have the word idiot in the English language" (although, that's only partially true, because it is also reserved for murderous Apple customers).

You can't be disorderly in your own friggin' house anymore?

So, exactly what the hell are the idiots trying to defend Cambridge PD talking about? The old man was in his own house. He may have refused to show his ID, but he eventually did.

Okay, forget the fact that you are incredibly clay-headed enough to not realize that this is a person who has contributed so much to American Society.

He is a real person!

What blows here is - there was absolutely no reason to arrest him.

And Gates is right - because one officer was stupid enough, Gates is now "a man with a criminal record whose mugshots can be seen online".

Where is the fairness in all this?

Exactly at what cost do we start allowing the police defend our homes?

Are we in China or the United States?

Where does this persecution by suspicion end?

Well, at Obama's doorstep.

And once again, "Thank you, El Presidente".


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Hey Obama, watch out with those White House gates, they might "call in" about you...

[Please click on the following to read original article]

To all those who thought that racism was over, and it was time to harp about "reverse" racism, here is something to think about. In real life, as in Hogwarts, the magic stops with race and blood.

It is not just disgusting that some woman decided that just because it appeared someone black was trying to break into a house (this woman needs some real help). It is disgusting that police arrived, and despite obviously having found the rather old man (another clue) to be nowhere close to a criminal - arrested him.

Then, and yes, I know, I am repeating stuff you would rather read in a well written, "white" washed (oh, was that a bit mucho?) article, the idiots downtown also did not have the commonsense to apologize and let the man go.

Where they trying to say?

Blacks not welcome here in Cambridge? Or, in our beloved Obama's case, not welcome back?

I don't know about cushy firemen jobs in Connecticut or New Haven, and I do think promoting no one was incredibly stupid and only served to hurt race relations, but we really need action here. I don't think the arresting cop should be fired - his bosses should:

1. They have obviously done a poor job educating their officers on racial and general sensitivity to citizens - I mean come on!

2. They did not intervene and let the poor gentleman go, allowing everyone at the police station believe that it is still A-okay to haul-ass if you can come up with a reason....

And, it proves a point - you may not like Al Sharpton. But he is much needed and I hope he raises some hell at Cambridge.

Maybe a whole bunch of people need to show up at Cambridge and demonstrate that shouting is free speech, especially if you paid the rent or owned the frigging place!

Reference to this misery:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090721/ap_on_re_us/us_harvard_scholar_disorderly

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Ha ha ha ha ha..It happens only in India!

Alright, so I was sick and sleepless. Between dead pedophiles pop stars, extremely redundantly hyped, yet to be realized Operating systems, Republicans' parents who like to pimp them, Presidents who ignore the economy and tour nuclear reactors in Russia and a 500 email backlog, I thought nary a blog would emerge from me this week...

But here I am.

So what is all this about?

It is about the recession, I mean the correction, I mean the recession that is just a correction (ask le economists, okay!?).

Apparently Air India is so broke that it has decided to over-fill it's capacity in passengers. So, they stuffed three extra passengers - one in the cockpit, and two in foldable seats for crew members! I wonder where the crew members were going to sit.

Luckily, the flight never took off, and the passengers were transported off on another plane. The rest is not funny, but can be found here:

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/AI-stuffed-in-3-extra-persons/articleshow/4760205.cms


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Monday, June 29, 2009

So what have the republicans been smoking?

[Please click on the following to read original article]

It's not enough that Palin and Limbaugh represent the future face of the Party. The Republicans want to take it much further:

One of them propositions men at Airport restroom stalls

Another has an affair outside marriage and gets the affaire's Husband a job

One of them flies to Argentina without telling anyone and has an affair or ends an affair or whatever...

And this one, was running around naked:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090627/ap_on_re_us/us_odd_naked_mayor;_ylt=AtW.E1ehoD9.57qLcws.YgvtiBIF;_ylu=X3oDMTJqbTJydjQwBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwNjI3L3VzX29kZF9uYWtlZF9tYXlvcgRjcG9zAzIEcG9zAzUEc2VjA3luX3RvcF9zdG9yeQRzbGsDZm9ybWVybWF5b3Jp


Wonder what is going to happen next...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Here's a yet-to-be 4th grader that is smarter than your average South Carolina Governor...

So the South Carolina Governor went A.W.O.L. without telling anyone. A fairly inane thing to do and, of course, makes for good, space-filling press fodder. And, I of course have no interest in his whereabouts.

However, look at this kid:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090623/ap_on_re_us/us_utah_boy_found

Upon getting lost, he made himself quite resourceful and made sure he was found as quickly as possible. Two men, separated by age and wisdom. Of course, the wisdom found itself on the wrong side of the stereotypical age!


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Stupidity - The new apartment management tool for the recessed economy

All across the country, apartments and independent houses lay barren. Many, especially in places like Michigan have fallen prey to fire, drug sales and so on. I have started noticing apartments giving away free internet access in some cases, in a bid to try and get people to rent space.

All this doesn't hold a candle to what these idiots in Boulder, Colorado are doing to make sure that people continue to rent space from them.

They are harassing their customers with stupid rules.

In a time-worn tradition of picking on the Grandmas and the weak among us, this particular apartment management company was pissed off, apparently by her Easter Decoration which hung for two weeks beyond what the management thought was an appropriate celebration of Jesus's resurrection.

If you looked close at me, you would find no Jesus freak in me, but come on. This is not a one-off incident. Two years ago, in some condominium complex, some Indian Hindu guy had a religious plant and a flag at the back of his house in Florida, and the idiots who called themselves his neighbors went on a 21st century style lynch mob, suing and terrorizing him.

This is one of the main reasons why I don't like apartments, condos and "communities", and hey if the economy screwed them over, it's not much harm done. The sameness of the houses and the pitiable disugised unemployment of pitiable "Property Managers" to enforce nonsensical laws....

Anyway, I am guessing Grandma still may not win. And that, my dears, is what constitutes irony and general sadness. All one can predict is, that with such actions, companies like AIMCO will continue to taste the fruits of the downturn for a long, long time to come.

Original Article:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090621/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_easter_bunny_dispute;_ylt=Au856NsNrn0j0hok5.z76QDtiBIF;_ylu=X3oDMTJzZGk1OW9zBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwNjIxL3VzX29kZF9lYXN0ZXJfYnVubnlfZGlzcHV0ZQRjcG9zAzEEcG9zAzEEc2VjA3luX3RvcF9zdG9yeQRzbGsDd29tYW5zYXlzc2hl

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The City of Bozeman secedes from Iran rescinds acts of insane inanity

Alright! So, "Global Outrage" works. Like someone posted here on Slashdot:

"What else can we start worldwide backlashes against? They seem to f* work."

Well how about one against Indian Government Hospitals? For details, go here

So, what is all the hue and cry about? If you have not read what I posted here yesterday, you have just been downright mean, uninformed and naughty!, based on a stroke of genius, the City of Bozeman decided to capitalize on the unemployment rates of 2009 by demanding that all job applicants stand in the noon sun on one leg and do hops and skips...okay, okay... they decided to require that all applicants submit their Yahoo! Gmail, Facebook, MySpace and other extremely pertinent passwords so that they could judge their applicants' character.

What is the difference you say? (I mean the difference between asking someone to go stand in the sun on one leg and hop/skip..)

Let's just call it the incident. Of course, I leave it up to you to call it the most stupid thing adults could ever do. Just so we are clear, I am not the one calling it, he he.

On some random website whose url was almost all consonants, approximately 6300 people thought Bozeman had been taken over by Bozos, while 45 disagreed promptly and another handful said they couldn't care one way or the other.

Oh come on. I side with the 45 dissident netizens.

After all, which Craigslist Personal Ads you put out there and which ones you respond to will eventually determine how good you are at your job. (It will be if you are a South Carolina Attorney General looking for cheap, borderline-legal publicity).

In any case, the next time I am on my way to Yellowstone, I will stop by Bozeman again. Of course, I will have this big grin...

And it must be party time at Montana's News Station.com (yes, creativity is somehow wanting all over the state, what with all the hitherto-unseen-herewith-unforeseeable page hits:

http://montanasnewsstation.com/Global/story.asp?S=10558291


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

How to take advantage of potential employees in a bad economy, brought to you by Bozeman, MT

You have to love driving through some of these towns. So, once on my winter trip to the Yellowstone, I actually stayed in this town. So, it's good to know how bad they like to treat people.

What is up with Idiot Station Central, I mean Bozo-town, er, the Government of the City of Bozeman?

They want anyone applying for city jobs to give out their Google, Yahoo!, YouTube, Facebook and other online profile passwords if they want to apply for a job. Of course, this is 2009, right?

What is the harm in taking advantage of the hapless jobless?

Better still, the Government likes to justify it - "No one has withdrawn an application because of this".

Hey, this makes Kamala Harris and her bullies gang of the City of San Francisco (Childs, anyone?) look like angels! And of course, if you ever thought why so many people have such stellar opinions of the Midwest, you know who is behind it.

Of course, the next time I drive to Yellowstone, I wonder if I will want to just drive on by Bozeman without stopping.

Want to throw up? Join me:

http://montanasnewsstation.com/Global/story.asp?S=10551414


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

My Sexperience with Bing...

[Please click on the following to read original article]

Unfortunately, writer's block can go both ways. Sometimes you don't know what to say, and sometimes you don't know when to stop...every minute since I heard about the search for "sex" being closed out by Bing in India(search results go dead and you are gently asked to search for something, or use an actual search engine)....I have only wondered.

Where do we start?

1. Okay who was the low IQ perv who first looked up "sex" on Bing. Keywords boy, keywords...gotta look for the right thing. Alright, I give in. After all most exciting discoveries and inventions were accidental, n'est pas? Maybe he/she (could have been, right?) was looking for some "decision" making help?

2. Our main concern here is - is this really censorship from Microsoft. After all if there are 1 billion of us, then we probably knew how to ...er, even before Google or computers, right? Unless of course, 'em storks have been partial to the future of your software companies and IT support...(and those Bangaloreans Obama would like to not give jobs away to - yeah I split my infinitives, go Bing yourself now!)

3. So, going back to point 2, does Microsoft not want us to know about "it", also known as the birds and the bees, or do they just want fewer Indian babies?

4. It is amazing that while the original genius mentioned in #1 only looked for the three-lettered word, some of the commentators in the article referred below have seen how far Bing has gone with other body parts in India, Singapore, Australia and beyond. Apparently you can look up the "V" word (see, not actually writing the words makes it more exciting right?) but not the "P" word.

I think the V vs. P strategy is really good. After all, if you didn't know how to make what go where you won't try it - kinda like the unfinished Ikea furniture assembly that has been lying around half finished in your garage for six months...

Okay, I gotta admit, if I say anything more, Bing may never let me come up on their puritan, purgatory, Catholic Nun's Almanac decision engine again. So, with my selfish "blog searchability" in mind, I am going to stop...

If you are reading about sex on this blog from India, you know you heard it here, even if not at first, definitely not at Bing!

And now, for your reading "pleasure":
http://thomashawk.com/2009/06/microsoft-doesnt-think-people-in-india-should-be-allowed-to-search-for-the-term-sex.html



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I'm nuts you say? Well crack this...says world's most litiguous..

[Please click on the following to read original article]

http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2009/may/23/man-sues-book-over-most-litigious-crown/

You know the Guinness Book of World Records goes looking for trouble across the world. Okay, they go looking for records. Well here is one, piled on itself...

Guy spends so much time suing everyone, they banned him from suing in many places! He has in fact sued so much, they decided they were going to throw him in the record books.

And naturally, in good humor (which I guess is better than mine), he has sued them in retaliation for trying to suggest he sues too much.

I say get him out of prison and give him a job...! He has too much time on his hands. Maybe the US Senate? Or Congress? Or some time with Joe the Plumber so that he can learn how the "shmos" do it without over-doing it!



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Marriage - a treatment for Kleptomania...

[Please click on the following to read original article]

http://bobsutton.typepad.com/my_weblog/2009/05/an-astounding-intervention-that-stopped-employee-theft.html


Leave it to me to take a well written blog with good intentions and twist the message :)

Anyway, do read the linked article. It talks about how a factory load of workers were stealing stuff from their workplace, more as a machismo deal than to really use the equipment.

Scott Adams can rest easy about his Dilbert jokes involving office stationery. Years ago, on the grapevine somewhere, I heard that companies used to have un-inventoried office stationery so that those who had the intent to steal could steal harmless, cheap stationery and that way, they won't get in harm's way.

Well, in this company/factory, they tried something different. Gary Latham and the company first allowed folks to check out equipment that they would normally be tempted to steal.

Then, they had an "amnesty day" which turned out to be "amnesty days" because people kept bringing back stuff to the sawmill...guess why?

Their wives wanted them out of the houses because they were running out of space!

Gotta enjoy this..!!!

Oh, and if you went to the linked story, you also get to test yourself and find out if you are an arse with a proverbial perforation at the workplace...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

How about some inspiration...

Phew...finally, I can get near the blog. I am telling you, this mercury retrograde thing must be something...

Anyway, here is a quote from justsell.com 's newsletter:

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished? ”

Rumi (1207–1273)
Persian poet and philosopher


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

According to Reuters, marriage in Maine is not between a man and a women....hmmm

Here is the link to the article that I am sure will be corrected (since I told them to do it - I am generous that way!):

http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSTRE5455B620090506

I am guessing, if Reuters doesn't "correct" this article, we should assume the Maine legislature and the Governor are extremely unhappy about marriage between man and a woman with multiple personalities (thus she becomes "a women").

And you thought the fact that news agencies were in financial trouble was unfair...

Anywhooo, for your entertainment, here is the image:



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Simon says: I am not an idiot, I am a Canadian an artist....

[Please click on the link below to read original article]

http://www.publicradio.org/columns/marketplace/scratchpad/2009/05/a_literal_financial_security_b.html


So, you have only $208 left. What would you do with it? Spend it, put it in the bank, invest it, gift your mom....

Or, would you sew them together and call it fart, I mean art....

Like the article says, hopefully he learned the value of money at least AFTER he made a blanket out of it..

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Here's to enforcing your "no returns" policy...

Here's a link to the incredibly in-expansive article...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090429/ap_on_fe_st/us_customer_punched;_ylt=Ajx5xjVQ4lVBINVsINCEjPjtiBIF

We've all been there, right? Screw Gandhi, the customer is not always right...(just ask Microsoft).

Anyway, having a "no returns" policy is one thing. Enforcing it is another.

And finally it took this 52 year old to show us all how to do it!

God forbid if I ever had to return anything to Radioshack again...!

Okay, when was the last time anyone bought anything at a Radioshack?!

Is that place a museum of "current electronics on sale" or what...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

You shouldn't rob a bank when you are this busy....

Here is the link to the original article:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30361435/

Happens everyday doesn't it ? (No it doesn't)

Pregnant woman decides to rob bank. Pregnant woman holds up cashier.

Get's call on the phone...and walks off.

Maybe we should have a law "No talking on the cellphone while robbing banks".

I am sure the California legislature can make time for this, in case the woman decides to travel here for her future deeds...!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Want to carelessly allow your factory to blow up? Care not to explain what happened? Love to cover up mistakes using anti-terrorism laws?..,

[Please click here to read original article]

The Coast Guard can help!

Or it would seem to be the case. The article I have linked up there is right on the dot - never noticed the explosion in the Bayer plant. But there is more than one reason why you or I would not notice such a thing.

What would they be?

Here is the scenario, right? - Plant blows up. Plant explosion kills 2 people. Company explains.

Uh, apparently no. Not only did Bayer get away with it, the Coast Guard is helping them too. Very nicely done. So, one hand the Supreme Court shuts out responsibility using preemption on the part of FDA, so that organizations don't have to answer to the patients they injure or kill. On the other hand, anti-terrorism laws and the Coast Guard of all the people help organizations to shirk the responsibility of answering to the public and the people they killed..

Oh yes, Congress is holding "hearings". Remember the last time "Congress" and the "FDA" got Bayer to back off calling "Aspirin" a "Dietary Supplement"!?

Hmmm, may the groveling in front of Bayer begin. What a lovely lot they must be to invest in. No Government, law, logical or common sense can get to them...


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Looking for adventure..? Travel to the wild, wild, west Nebraska!?!*#

[Please click on title to read original article]

Okay, so how do you think most people react to the question:

"You're not doing anything with that old electric chair, are you?"

How would you react if you were running the corrections prison?

How would your travel plans to Nebraska change?

How would you conclude that the true intentions of these town-folks is to allure travelers and not to do away with them?

Only one way to find out....

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Digging up the dirt on Darwin - the depths to which some non-believers would sink to... :p

[Please click on title to read original article]

Alright, I am just kidding - again. But to have servants help you with every single act of your day, would just be superb, n'est pas?

And a guy like Darwin who had to study only two hours of math (which would still suck, but hey, maybe he had a servant who did his homework for him) and some other nonsense, rightfully had too much time on his hands.

And that's how he must have come up with all this nonsense about evolution. Sheesh, what can you expect from a guy who had all these servants, had his dad pay for his school and he went shooting with his friends all the time (reminds of you a US President in the recent past?)...



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

"I'm flattered people even want to hear me in the first place." - George W. Bush!

[Please click on title to read original article]

Don't worry about the actual article. Isn't nitpicking what we are supposed to do anyway?

One thing we can deduce about Bush is that he is not big on "truthisms". He is more the "truth" guy. Who else would admit the truth about himself?

That said, many of us on the interwebs are not as flattered as much as flabbergasted!

What kind of people pay $3100 to hear him? In Canada? Some people MUST really miss humor in their life. Thanks to his bibliophilic aspirations to build a library (possibly of coloring books), we can hear more of this jolly old, humorous....

Basically he won't go away. Neither will Cheney.

As the old saint would say "Oh fun!"


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Grassley admits "I never mean what I say"

[Please click on title to read original article]

When Grassley wants you to kill yourself, he really means it - not apparently. Maybe he thought he was like Cuomo? Giving executives a deadline, trying to see what they would do? But he just said he doesn't mean what he said.

Here is Grassley's itinerary for the reminder of this week:

1. Wednesday - Apologize to Japanese leaders for talking about how they apologize. He did not mean that their apologies were justified.

2. Thursday - Apologize to all businessmen because he wasn't being favorable only to Japanese Businessmen.

3. Friday - Apologize to everyone else, because he didn't mean to be nice only to businessmen in general.

The real problem is, one shudders (as one is) what would Grassley like to tell people on work visas about his views on their duration on this planet. Impressive for a "pro-life" guy.


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Of what use is a government that cannot govern? otherwise known as "outrage at AIG bonuses"

[Please click on title to read original article]

What contract binding? If it had not been your and my tax money there would be no AIG. Here is a new contract Geithner:

Call AIG and tell them if the bonuses are not returned, the people who got the bonuses can leave. Don't we have enough people who would be happy to take up the jobs?

A sign that a government is becoming useless to its own people is when it doesn't even want to think beyond a straight line.

Every problem has a solution - if people thought with real earnest. AIG needs a long overdue house cleaning and perhaps the Obama administration is not up to the task...


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Worried that college students are not getting the appropriate job skills? - Here's probably why!

[Please click on title to read original article]

I am sure you love Star Trek as much as I do (boy was that a terrible thing to confess to). Or, maybe you sit up thinking about Wonder Women and werewolves as much as I do as well.

But how is sitting through a college class discussing your private fetishes going to help you actually learn any skills in engineering, science, stocking, sales or anything useful?

Shouldn't they be firing the idiots who teach such drivel?

Know of a single nation outside the US where such crap would be tolerated?


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Is the news that Bartz is re-orging Yahoo! a lie? hmm...

[Please click on title to read original article]

Because if she did unto Yahoo! what she did unto Autodesk before she left....

that would be "more of the same" n'est pas?

Even the God who created us all from each others' backbones 6,000 years ago (and left dino bone trash lying all over) cannot save Yachoo!

Oh, and she gets $19mn for this?

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

USA Network - Now approving idiots like David Chang

[Please click on title to read original article]

Talk about a pompous ass. Apparently, he is proud of the fact that he won't serve vegetarians. And hey, if you don't like his food - it means you don't know what you are talking about.

Here are a couple of thoughts:

1. There is no frigging elegance in cooking meat, especially a whole pork's ass.

2. USA Network's character list must be bubbling with idiots.

And here is a bonus thought:

David Chang - you probably suck much more than you think...

[In case you are confused, watch the fool mouth off on USA Network]

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Monday, February 16, 2009

SC Sheriff to Phelps - we'll let you go. (your 'esticles are fried anyway...)

[Please click on title to read original article]

Southern Justice it is! Now if you or I had been smokin' some, this Sheriff would have miraculously found physical evidence.

Like I once said, the more money you have, the more democracy you have.

News to Lott: No, he is an American Zero. He brought shame on to people who counted on him, and now you are letting go!

For anyone who wants to call me a prude over the whole grass thing:

http://www.newsday.com/news/health/ny-hspot17-nws,0,788749.story

How does that smell? Burned? Smoked?

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Why "but Obama told us it is cool to sell pot..." doesn't seem to be working...

[Please click on title to read original article]

Oh, and just to clarify, Obama sold us on hope...not dope!!!!!!!!!

Okay, Obama has had a rough day or two. He suddenly realized that his Democrat brethren not only smoke anything that burns, but also don't pay the taxes they levy on others..(

Oh, in case you thought that was over, the husband of the Labor Secretary Nominee just paid $6,400 in "back" taxes.

Want to infuse cash back into the economy?

Audit the Democrats...

Anyway, we digress.

I am sure though this is a topic that is not easily forgotten.

Who would have thought Obama would be the darling of those who peddle ganja, hashish, dope, smoke, pot, grass....

I am sure he isn't, but hey what is better than punching a guy when he is down?

Okay, listen people - you want to sell marijuana medically?

Well, get mainstream researchers to lobby (oh wait, Obama doesn't like that), beg, express outrage, publish journal articles or do something about it.

If it is medical, it must have proof, right?

Well, then let's get it.

Or, ask the FDA.

They will approve anything - even if it is for s*its and giggles....

Or, wait until 2012. I am sure Palin will approve leases for marijuana fields.....

What? My blog makes very little sense?

Well you know what I have been smoking!

Oh, and anyone else think the Canadian flag leaf looks suspiciously like...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Freedom, Shmeedom - If it worked for Hitler, it will work for network companies, says Europe while playing the harp, as the internet burned...

[Please click on title to read original article]

Viviane Reding is an amazing, fairly balanced idiot EU official?

When Microsoft does something wrong, people like her cry hoarse about monopoly.

When it comes to internet, here is her strategy: "Rather, our goal should be to find ways to allow operators and service providers to respect human rights"

Who else has stomach ache laughing their red little tush off?

It almost makes Obama's cabinet picks or India's reliance on Pakistan to solve the Mumbai crime "mystery" look a little less funny (or alarmingly terrible.., depending on your view point)...

Oh Europe. Just when we thought all you were was flotsam, you come back and entertain us, so well!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.