Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Breaking News: Obama Campaigns for Romney!

Yes, it is time to suck up and start blogging about the elections. Which means, there might be some sarcasm, but the funnies are gone. I am finally giving in. And, just in time to break this news for you.

After months of campaigning, and building a positive lead in the Presidential Election, Obama decided it was time to take his marriage anniversary as the perfect opportunity to make a complete ... of himself and help Romney. The debate, despite the media circus, is a complete washout for Obama. And, there will be a huge price to pay...

Obama's only choices

Listen to this El Presidente. When they say, "yield the floor", they don't say, "throw away the debate, the election, the baby, the bath water, plumbing for the water, your dog and your neighbor's sick grandma". You have to stand up and debate. Now that you have lost, you only have three paths to success from this moment forward:

1. Make sure Biden doesn't f*k this up next Wednesday night. 

Now, this is a tough job of the tallest order. It is now up to Biden to pull this off one way or the other. No wandering off the script, no zingers, none of that crap. Biden's only advantage? Everyone will expect him to fail, miserably. As long as he doesn't, he might survive.

If Biden also gives up, things will start looking really bad for Obama. It does not matter that early voting has started and most Americans have made up their mind - after all, this is NOT the group that decides the election.

2. Campaign like there is NO tomorrow

Celebrate that anniversary. And then, Obama, get your behind to all the crucial states. Do not stop, do not slow down. Start spending your campaign money.

Here are a few cliches to help: You just went from Defcon 5 to 1. You snooze, you loose. You even remotely dream of snoozing, you still loose.

3. Debates 2 and 3

You are Presidential. We get it. If you don't throw down the gauntlet and fight back, you don't have a leg to stand on. By debates 2 and 3, your time is already running out on undecided voters. Don't make it worse.


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