Monday, December 06, 2010

Recent "book" theft report from Alabama raises several questions...

The internet is a strange place full of unverifiable rumors and urban legends, ranging from black, socialist, wealth-distributing Presidents to claims of libraries in Alabama!

Several readers have contacted this blogger about shocking rumors causing waves across the internet with claims of a library in existence somewhere in Alabama! The biggest event since the revelation of the "Big Foot" or the "Sasquatch" leaves several unanswered questions than answers:

1. That there is a library in Alabama, and the possibility that more than one exist..!

2. That these libraries do house a book or more than one...

3. That there is a book lover and more than one such book lover in Alabama...


The unconfirmed rumors of book lovers and libraries have spread like wildfires across the interwebs (no, not really), with far reaching discussions on what this could mean for a state with bigoted justices of peace (yeah, don't remember that one do ya or y'all?)...

Reality, revisited

All jokes aside, why does a library wait till 200 books are stolen. I mean, at some point you need to start paying attention that books are being stolen right? I mean, in a year, how many books do you expect to be stolen? 10, maybe 20? Even 50 is acceptable?

If you let someone walk away with 222 books over 2 years, at a statistically incorrect average of 111 books a year...your library just, er, sucks!?!

So why bother holding the person on bond for $10,000? Since you are also claiming she was jobless (a detail they could have skipped - not sure what the harping is all about) able to walk past your "security" system as a book lover/thief...why not hire her?

She loves books - won't have a reason to steal, and will probably take good care of your books. But no, this is Alabama....sweet home, eh?



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

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