Arizona to Earth: Sorry sir, please step aside, you don't look white er, right enough...

Alright! Let's all have some tea!!!

Arizona has now completely evolved. They love themselves so much, they are changing their state's motto to

Arizona: The Racist State

Can you blame them? Really? Here is why what Arizona has done is correct:

1. They don't like you. You are not white, I mean, right, I mean Republican, I mean you know what I mean...you just don't belong here. Get out.

2. It doesn't matter if the name Arizona itself is Spanish. If you can't spell "irony" how is it going to affect you?

3. Nothing good ever came of immigrants in this country. When was the last time you heard an immigrant doing anything good? I mean, look at me sitting on my brown a.. , telling you all this. Of course the people on the Mayflower weren't immigrants. They were "pioneers". Get it? No? What, are you retarded? I can say "retarded". I am not a Democrat, see...

4. Their police need something to do. I mean come on, they have solved all their other problems.....

Conclusion: I wonder if they will soon pass a law that says, "For w*****s only". We will all be able to drive to the borders of Arizona and reminisce those good old days of wonder and joy that brought the American dream to all our doorsteps. Of course, John McCain will endorse that too. He always knows to do the right thing...just look at Sarah Palin!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed. Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

And in this week's "Where are the jobs", we introduce: Doga - how to torture your pet and get some exercise...

If you thought people who put shoes and sweaters on their dogs were being rude and incongruous with sanity, you have another thing coming...

We introduce Doga - apparently, Dog + Yoga.

I am not sure how to go from here without spitting euphemisms that allure at the misconstrued ancestry of the people who invented, er, "Doga".

So, what about people who own donkeys and want to do yoga?

Will you call that Ass-ga?

I think we should call it something else:

Devolution - Devilishly Idiotic Dog-Owner's Brain Dissolution.

I know doesn't rhyme well, and doesn't fit well - but hey, "Doga" is also pretty dumb. Actually, it is just dumb, not pretty at all.

Makes you wonder if the poor dogs are having to pay for the sins, er sob stories, erads "performed" by Sarah Mclaughlin on TV. I sometimes feel that dogs become depressed just thinking about her.

Well, the poor dogs on the Mclaughlin ads have it easy, compared to our "Doga" dogs.

The moral of the story is, if you dig enough gold and some poor bastard pays for your dog and the boutique bills, then you can lift the hapless four-legged creature off the ground and dance around like a maniac?

Jeez, get a life!

If you have no idea what the hell I am talking about:
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/tlg/1671298318.html

So what do you think? Is this more insulting to dogs or yoga? Is there even a degree of comparison here?

I seriously hope to Dog, er God, this is just a bad April Fool's joke!


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?