Bad Ads 2: Maria Sharapova Canon Ad

This ad is so bad, it was probably directed by someoone out of a really bad theater (or theatre) school, and acted by someone who is probably good only at tennis, however good looking she is.

What is with Maria taking the camera out of her inner thighs? Oh yeah, she is so skimpily dressed to take the shots from the tennis ball (a pink frock). So, she has to hide the camera somewhere!

Come on, I am not a puritan, but isn't this stupid? What do cameras have to do with Maria, shooting out her name with tennis balls onto some wall and shooting them? Or the fact that she uses the deeper realms of her periphery to store them?

Where, oh where are stupid ideas born?

The Google Experience

[Click on title for external eWeek article link]

Now, I don't like saying, "I told you so", nor do I like to dance on someone's grave...

okay, you can find me on scary, windy evenings dancing on the graves of companies that got too big to handle. I am not saying this is the end of Google. Hell, I dont want that to happen at all. But here is another classic example of what happens to you if hype precedes product, service and quality.

To wit, even Yahoo! has computers replying to your emails.

If you will permit, I predict both these idiot companies will get swallowed by smaller organizations steeped in shameless customer service. If you want to start such a company, get in touch with me, lol!

Good Luck Google!

I will continue wishing you good luck, and wishing what I wish happens to the fruit company...

Bad ads of 2005:: Part I - "Alka Seltzer, Big Cold Medicine"

Why are ads interesting?

This is because they try to impress us.

Why are American ads, hmm, interesting?

This is because 99% of them are made by really sad people who think they are funny.

Anyway, going back to the really sad ads in 2005, what is with the "Alka Seltzer Big Cold" medicine ad?

The "Then, you have a BIG cold" just wants to make you retch and/or weep. And then, punch lines are supposed to do something to you. This wants to seal the deal with the retching and weeping feeling. The pharmacist sees the woman outside his store the next day morning and inquires to her feelings, and the lady, a really bad actress says "Like myself". Like what?

Who designed this ad? Why is it on TV? Why do we have to watch this between every bad programme on television?

One day, I would like to meet a few of these people who design these sorry ass ads.

Back to Blogging again...

You know, I have to confess, I am not much of a blogger, but I thought I will start blogging again....

I read State of Fear. Other than doing a little bit of eye - opening about the real state of climate changes and environemnt, the book really did not do much for me.

Sriahri

Today, from the desk of...

Apparently Basil Traore considers me to be very trustworty. Boy, am I thankful that atleast someone in Burkina Faso thinks that way. Now, do people in Burkina Faso also get this fellow's emails? If so, they should be able to kick some ass. For us, its just the entertainment. How many more million versions of this are we going to receive?

Srihari
--------------------------------------------
FROM THE DESK OF MR. BASIL TRAORE,
DIRECTOR.
OFFICE OF THE CHAIRMAN,
CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTEE.
EUROPEAN UNION CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT.
BURKINA FASO. WEST AFRICA.

Dear Friend,
I am BASIL TRAORE the Chairman of Contract Awarding Committee of the EUROPEAN UNION CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT(EUCC) in BURKINA FASO West Africa.I got your information in a business directory from the Burkina Faso Chamber of Commerce and industries, when I was searching for a reliable, honest and trust worthy person to entrust this business to. I was simply inspired and motivated to pick your contact from the directory. After discussing my view and your profile with my colleagues, they were satisfy and decided to contact you immediately for this mutual business relationship.

We wish to transfer the sum of USD$5.800,000.00 (five million eight
hundred United States Dollars only.) into your personal or company's bank
account.This fund was a residue of the over invoiced contract bills awarded by
us for the supply of equipments, hard/soft wares, pharmaceuticals/medical items
relating to constructing tool's, light and heavy duty vehicles, apparels and
other administrative logistics etc. for the Burkina Faso Projects. This DEAL
was deliberately hatched out and carefully protected with all the visible
loop holes and sealed off. As the Chairman of CAC, I have the cooperation
and mandate of the Financial Director and the Secretary of theOrganisation.

We arranged over invoice of the contract funds, supplies by different companies from different countries. It was our consensus to seek the assistance of a willing foreigner to provide us with the facilities to transfer this money out of Burkina Faso.

This is borne out of our belief in the non-stable and porous political nature of this sub-region.The original contractors have been duly paid by the Bank of Africa Ouagadougou-Burkina-Faso in West Africa. (Bank of Africa, Ouaga-Burkina-Faso in West Africa). Through our bankers - Societe Generale de Banque. This balance is suspended in the escrow accounts awaiting claims by any foreign company of our choice. We intend to pay out this fund NOW as the organization is winding up its activities and the coast have been achieved.

Based on the laws and ethics of employment, we as civil servants working under this organization, are not allowed to operate a foreign account. This is the more reason why we needed your assistance to provide an account that can sustain this funds for safe keeping and our future investment with your comprehensive advise, assistance and partnership in your country.It is however agreed, as the account owner in this deal to allow you 30% of the entire sum as compensation, 60% will be held on trust for us while 10% will be used to defray any incidental charges and expenses during the transaction. This transaction will be successfully concluded within 14 days
if you accord us your unalloyed and due cooperation. You are required to
provide the followings;

1.YOUR COMPANY'S NAME WITH COMPLETE ADDRESS. TELEX AND FAX NUMBERS. (if available)

2.YOUR COMPLETE MAILING ADDRESS INCLUDING TELEPHONE NUMBERS.

Upon the receipt of this information, the documents and approval with the text will be sent to you for confirmation and then forwarded to the organization for rectification and subsequent payment. As with the case of all organized (sensitive) and conspired DEALS, we solicit for your unreserved confidentiality and utmost secret in this business. We hope to retire peacefully and have a honorable business life after all. There is no risk involve in this business. I suggest you reply me back for more intimacy and details. You can reply through my alternative email as follows;
trbasil@plasa.com
Yours Faithfully,
Mr. Basil Traore.

Ha ha ha... Moral uprightness or relentless self -mockery? Where is Tamil Nadu going?

One only needs to go online, look up news from TN and start laughing, rolling on the floor!!!!

Let's see, we first have a director who was not allowed to call actors "prostitutes" or something close to that. Otherwise, they threatened that they would stop making the bad movies no one wants to see anyway. :p

Then we have people who disallow Kushbu (who disavowed the above mentioned director's freedom) from commenting on pre - marital sex.

Then we have "Jayalakshmi", the true Godmother of all con artists.

And all you have to do is go back to sleep, get up and pick up a copy of Dinamalar, and there you go, you have more entertainment (http://indiawillshine.blogspot.com)

Ha ha ha. At this rate, God knows what we will read tomorrow morning. It is truly the cutting edge of societal entertainment. The state is in a downward spiral anyway, and if you add all these mock sensations of uprightness and set aside the rule of law, we are presented with what can only be called riotous humor!!!

So far they have also come up with dress codes and cell phone bans. When I left the college I studied in, they brought a megalomaniac to run the institution and he banned boys and girls from talking to each other - almost literally.

You know the best thing, people stand by such nonsense! Maybe its time to herald the era of "Shiv Sena" in TN. We can go around smashing up all the hotels we dislike and do all kinds of moral policing. This is so much fun. Moreover, the press will like us, political parties will like us and the courts wont punish us.

If this isn't Rama Rajya, what else is? :D

Ha ha ha. Another Nigeria Email

Dear Yamanoor Srihari

I have access to some legal and confidential information concerning a late Mr. Lester Srihari a resident investor here who recently passed away and i am presently working with the security company as their accredited attorney so i contacted you because your name and my client surename matched seems his son who is the next of kin to his legacy was al so died with in automile accident. I handled some legal briefs for him concerning a deposit of valuables and cash he made with a deposit company here. Owing to the demise of my client and by virtue of my relationship with him, I have decided to use all the resources within my power to retrieve the deposit, since my client died intestate . Until this time I, the solicitors, have been trying to determine the  whereabouts of any of the relatives who will assume the responsibility of safe guarding the estate of the deceased.

It is not my will to see the above matter ! treated that way hence I conducted a search that will assist me in first and foremost fighting for the safety of the consignment and all that is contained therein.I am very much aware of my client's last dealings with the deposit firm and I have the singular privilege of being in possession of some of the signed agreement papers. I have contacted you to
assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client because If a relative is not found within six weeks then the Public Trustee will seize the entire estate of my late client, a substantial windfall for both the government and the deposit company.

I look forward to your cooperation and your extreme discretion in this matter.  Until such time as this matter is settled, I will continue to work with you to see that the deposit is retrieved and forwarded in your name as a bona fide proxy to my late client. We shall within the course of the next few days plan and execute how best to pursue this mutual! matter with a view to cost effectiveness, I have all the necessary legal documents that will be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from
any breach of law. Please get in touch with me by email to enable us discuss further.

Yours sincerely
 
 
Pat Edmond Justice
Avocats & Avocats-Conseils
Lot,1583, Cocody
Abidjan,Cote d'Ivoire

 

Remember that OS company that everyone hates?

That's how they started...they wanted to be everything for everyone. Its like my blog is also becoming a google blog. Whatever it is, it amuses me to see google trying to do all these things. They will be fairly successful in evertyhing they try, but what is the point? One wonders if they too would become too large one day and people will hate them as well. How does a company stop that from happening? After all people were mesmerized by MS till 1995.

Srihari

Google into classifieds? Now this innovation, kinda..

Its still better than creating and swathing hype around substandard voice chat messengers. I am happy Google is doing something a little new, given that Craigslist already does this, and does a better job.

So this makes the relationship, or disparity if you will, between eBay and Google a little interesting. Why, you ask? Google has "Google Talk" and eBay bought Skype. eBay owns part of Craigslist, and Google is now doing classifieds.

Google is going to blaze through a lot of companies, maybe literally!

Srihari

Space Lift: Giving science fiction a lift?

Consider how naive I am. I first learned about the space elevator at an interview last week. However, I am now space - elevator - educated. There are other places to extoll about the virtues and drawbacks and the number of hoops the technology has to jump to become viable. For now, it should suffice to say that we are inching closer and closer to dropping the word "fiction" from a lot of ideas once classified as "science fiction".

It is so exciting to learn about the next big thing, I now wish I was a sci - fi writer! Maybe I will become one. Or maybe, that part of me will live in fiction. :D Personal egotism aside, this remarkable effort makes me want to go back and read some good, old school science fiction.

Maybe, just maybe, I can have my own Jurassic Park, and in Richard Attenborough's rendition, "The next time..."

Google Vs. Microsoft

So, is Google finally defeating Microsoft? That seems to be what everyone is asking. But is it truly the case, or just mere hype built on more hype. Probably not, but then again, Microsoft has outshined its worst nightmares in the past. Why is this any different?

Because Google is the press's doll? What do you think of Google Print then? I have always thought that companies that lived off of press hype would also die of the same thing.

That is why, I was rudely shocked by the largely insufficient Google Talk. What the heck was that, anyway? Voice Chat has existed for the centuries that the internet has existed. Ask graduate students and they will tell you how they talk to their parents. So, with a product that was barely able to do anything beyond the basics, people were hyping like heck. Maybe, most of what google does is hype?!

Yeah, advertising makes a lot of money. So it did in Internet 1.0. What happened? Yes, I use google for everything search related. Still, I do it because its free. And, I didn't jump the gun on everything. I am sure not many people have. For example, Yahoo! Groups got a lot better after Google Groups came in. Google groups don't do half the things that Yahoo! Groups do, and we didn't run scurrying to Google anyway.

Instead, everyone basked in the glory of the competition, that produced some good products, better groups, better blogs, better networking websites and so on. Where has the real shift been? I don't see it. Apparently many people do. I would wait and watch to see Google actually do something, before I vote Microsoft a dead lion.

Come on, what all have they weathered, netscape, linux, DoJ and Mozilla. What is the sudden rush to endorse everything google?

What Microsoft needs to do though, is grow up. May be give papa Bill the bye - bye. MSN is a joke, more so, the messenger. They never went beyond the PCs. Though Gates has been smart to shift his aim from PCs to gaming, that's a long, steep climb, up against Sony.

Why wait around till Sony does something to gaming, Apple to music and Google to the internet, if you do want to come off as true innovators? The lack of a clear vision and the desire to fight shows on Microsoft. Its become as ugly to IT, as GM, Ford and Chrysler have become to automobiles. At this rate, whatever the next big thing is, there is only one weapon which Microsoft can use to fight it - cash reserves. Word is going around that those things don't last forever!

Buck up Microsoft. Otherwise you will loose.

Google, you need to go back to the days when we used to exchange emails saying, "Hey, did you hear what Google did? Go check it out!" That was your original path to victory. Not a press release everytime someone changes ten lines of code. The thing is, it will crumble the day someone changes the wrong ten lines of code. Take a leaf from Google Print!

How many more competitors to the iPod?

So, now Dell has something called "DJ Ditty". And they are using an interesting word - of - mouth campaign. Makes one wonder. How do you fight innovation on its face? With products that have obscure names and aren't even visible?

It should become IT's dirty little secret that Apple, with its closed doors propriety driven principles is the only company innovating a product. Being selfish in innovation has always been Apple's undoing in the past. It doesn't look like its going to be so this time. I guess when the iPod started getting successful, everyone got comfortable and decided someone was going to run Apple over, and decided to just sit and watch.

Well, they do have 75% of the market, and its probably too late for another company to make in - roads, leave alone beat them out. That said, 22 million pods is almost next to nothing. There are so many more untapped consumers out there. No one seems to care for them either. Do they want people to throw out their iPods and buy itty - bitty - ditty players? Doesn't look like its going to happen anytime soon.

An interesting view on US Competitive Edge in Sales and Marketing

Read the tentacle lady story here:

http://www.slate.com/id/2126685?nav=wp

Its funny in places, and also talks about the existing manufacturing - sales culture gap in China. Makes me wonder how India is doing. I don't think we are doing any better at all. This might be an area to explore and expand our strengths.

Srihari

Okay, I got this name

I am not sure whats going on but both Yamanoor and Srihari are gone. No, I am not being wierd, I meant the choice of names are gone. So, the next egotistical level was ysrihari.

What can I do? Lost out Yosemite, Tahoe and other name choices