Change how I preypray? Separate Church from what? Well, Separate "this" says our friendly, neighborhood Warren....

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Cynicism is an amazing tool. When you learn very, very early in life that people never mean what they say (hear that Jesus?), you settle well into reality.

But, if you have been polluting your backyard with golf courses while driving a Subaru or Prius (or both, which makes you the perfect fluff cake) and telling the rest of the world how it should be, you probably get blindsided by people like Obama.

I was somewhere in between myself. On November 4, I let my guard down. Well, thank you Jesus!

What is amazing is the fact that it took George Bush 8 years to do to what Obama and Rick Warren are going to achieve in the span of a few minutes (or seconds).

No wonder YOU are not the Person of the Year...

Of late, what respected constitution have you tried to dissolve in a few minutes?

How many of the people who trusted you have you let down in a jiffy by using platitudes to defend yourself?

Meanwhile, in another part of the world, the Palins are now grandparents.

We live among a breed of role models indeed!!!

Yes, January 20, 2009 is the end of an error.

It is also the day you realize you are very, very, very error prone. After all you are human aren't ya?

Don't trust me? Good, wait around for no actions on abortion, human rights, gay rights and a host of Lincolnian platitudes served up as excuses.


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Run, don't walk - here come the useless lists of what was and what will be...

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Every year, we have a breed of lists that are fomented in the dark back alleys of the interwebs. What is the point? Most of them are incredibly useless.

So, I have decided to one up as an act of revenge - I am collating a useless list of lists.

Here is the first one:

http://www.infoworld.com/article/08/12/23/10_things_that_wont_survive_the_recession_1.html

And no, this year, YOU are not the person of the year. That, is, sooooo last year....

Watch this space for more sarcasm, cynicism, foul language, ancestral mis-references and other wonders of the English language snidely attributed to the creators, actors and readers of such lists....




Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

And, in today's incredibly fake, useless and mind-numbing "research" news....

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Read the article and weep gently. A bunch of idiots, not named in this article have spent their time "researching" into whether or not Charles Dickens was "accurate" in representing Oliver Twist and his desire to ask for "more" in his fictitious work Oliver Twist.

Following this highly applaud-worthy research, they are now going to Middle Earth to spew more random, crappy garbage about the inane fool who wrote The Lord of The Trash Rings crap.....

Meanwhile the fraud, no, IgNobel committee will come back after its investigations into fraud, bigotry, bribery and other crimes of wonder to award these great researchers who pounded Charles Dicken's miserable failure to write "accurate" fiction...

Makes you want to pull yer hairs, don't it?


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

You gays must just learn to protest only when it is not important to the rest of us - Obama

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Wait a second...so they create a seven page questionnaire, make a big deal of Clinton's wheeling and dealing, and pick her anyway after her husband's foundation was funded by Blackwater (go read the news. If this surprised you, you are lazy and not reading).

But, they did not vet this?

Or did they just not care?

On top of not taking a stance on Prop 8, this is just plain, old - fashioned, sexist biogtry.

Thank You Obama and Warren, we now have change...for a dollar, not the other kind everyone voted for.

From hereon, its a slippery slope until 2017...



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

What's in a name you say...hmm! || Walmart... now serving bigots at a store near you

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Hey, wasn't the first amendment supposed to make idiots out of all of us? How can people on the interwebs and a damned cake store take that away from us?

Read here:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081217/ap_on_fe_st/odd_hitler_cake

You have to hear what the bigot says. "He may grow up and socialize with black people."

Its 2008 and this fellow is still shameless to speak like this...

Oh, and in case you think what this has to do with Walmart?

Well, you could tell why they keep making profits - catering to anyone and everyone that brings business at the footstep.

Hmm..

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Okay, so whatever is wrong with Illinois?

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First we found out about Blogovoblogogobovich and then Jon Stewart told us that 3 of the last 7 Governors of Chicago went to prison (!) and with Blogovogo..that would make a 50% of Governors going to prison (!!!)....

And then there are these 4 idiots who decided to commit a felony. Robbing for pizza is stupid. Robbing when stupid is impermissably stupid. Being an Illinois'ian is?

This has now finally wiped off the shame wrought on Florida and Texas for...

Illinois is now officially...

Let's hope Obama, and his Chicago heavy cabinet are unlike these pioneers of pizza thievery...


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Goldman Sucks Sachs - now bringing 2.0 of incredibly inaccurate oil price predictions

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Let's be honest. This is worse than the boy who cried wolf. I did not even read the article. Who cares about the abracadabras that the "analysts", "experts" and whatever other goobs in Goldman cooked up?

The most unnervingly idiotic moment came, in Q3 when oil prices were incessantly falling and Goldman "stood by" its "predictions" of $200 oil.

Were they trying to dupe someone somewhere?

And mind you, when Goldman was "standing by" its numbers, oil was on a slippery slope - should I say pun, intended?

So now these Scooby-Doos are predicting $45 for 2009.

Hmm, I "predict" $700.

If we are throwing numbers, why give a frack how off they are, right?

Are you a tax payer?

If so, it is idiots like this (not exactly Goldman Sucks Sachs - okay why do I keep doing that!) that you "bailed out" while sitting at home jobless or at work fearing it will go away.

Enjoy watching Uncle Sam take your cash to Atlantic City....

Because we can't live without these "teams", "analysts" and "experts"!


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Hey! Texas has a new "Global" Village Idiot...

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Over the years I have spent on the interwebs (thanks to our friendly neighborhood convicted felon Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens), I have come across many kinds of idiots.

Idiots who thought giving away passwords to online services was bad (when a 3 year old child could "crack" their passwords)

Idiots who thought the 10 emails they were getting was "too much" and "spam"...

Idiots who thought "Linux will take over the world by storm 10 years from now..." (this for the last 10 years...so it's a lovely moving target)

Anyhooo,

This teacher takes the cake, the IgNobel Award, the ....

In the words of the great Carlos Mancia, she is a new-age, reborn, "Did Ti Dee"!!!

Did she sleep through the last 20 years? Does she not know what Linux is or means? Has she never downloaded a "freeware app" in her life?

And she is TEACHING?

At least, she has managed to disappoint the family of "You Know Who" and the "One Who Shall Not be Named (because we are all ashamed of his 8 years of reign of Error)".

How?

Because she has one upped them!

So, is there something in the air of Texas? Or in the Texas "Tea"?

Well, with such people bringing down the collective IQ of our species, at least we can look forward to evolution.

Yes, evolution mes Kansas-ian amis.

Would you really believe God created such geniuses on purpose? You know what that would make God, if it were true...?!!!

The jokes will never end. So, let me just end this post.




Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

F-you says Thain - I did the blindingly obvious and I need to be paid $10 million for it

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I seriously don't know what this guy has been smoking. Merrill Lynch had no other choice! They would have FAILED!

You know F-A-I-L-E-D.

Instead, they were urged, egged, and I am sure brow-beaten to do the obvious and now this jerk is seeking $10 million for that?

Well I hope he doesn't get "Lynched" but let's do this....

Let's give him $10 million.

And then, let's investigate him. After all, if Merrill Lynch "nearly" failed, he must be responsible for that somehow, right?

It would be nice to see someone with $10 million in prison...

Seriously, are some of these guys THAT clueless and GREEDY?

The portrayal of Peter Griffin's father-in-law Peter Schwedirmit or whatever is so accurate!

Thain, you are so frickin' vain!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.