Sunday, August 01, 2010

How do bad email campaigns "effect" me? They "effect"ively make me mad..thank you IBM and V3

Alright, you get paid for writing stuff and stuffing people's emails.

You also get to call yourself editors and such other wonderful titles.

You haven't had any reason to prove Green's Theorem, or worry about Bessel's functions for a day in your life.

You have had to write crap about Keats and Wordsworth (and yes, I was and continue to be better at that as well).

You get paid more than people who routinely function better than you.

But you can't spell?

Alright, dramatic effects (or was it affects?) aside, here is what grinds my gears:

Do click on the magical wonder that the screen-shot is.

Here are a few thoughts to some of our friendly, neighborhood editors and marketing geniuses:

1. Go back to grammar school.

2. Alternately, simply go away!

3. Find a different job, one that doesn't involve spelling in the only language you know (this newsletter comes from two companies, one in the United Kingdom and one in the former colonies)

4. Use "spell checkers". Not, Chinese checkers - I am not saying Chinese people are bad at checking grammar (they are probably better than you, given, er...). I am referring to the game, "Chinese Checkers".

5. Show up to work a little less drunk...


The irony of this email campaign involves the following:

1. questioning how inaccurate information effects, er, affects, er, who knows,  me.

2. presenting me with a tool called "smartfacts" (the space in-between or the lack thereof could be an error, or not, or, again, who knows?).

It amazes me that some of us have to work so much harder than the others....or work at all!

Still confused?

Here is how affect and effect differ:

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

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