Sunday, May 02, 2010

Yahoo! means "loud mouth" - literally, company CEO proves

Yahoo! is one hell of a meandering giant that has no reason to exist and yet, it continues to do so. And when it comes to the choice of their CEOs, while you would say that logic dictates that they "never get it right", from an entertainment stand point of view, they make the best choices!

Apparently, the BBC has taken to interviewing completely ineffective CEOs from the technology world. You would think that these people would look themselves in the mirror hanging in the BBC restroom, and tell themselves, "It's only a few minutes, just keep it simple and don't do anything stupid. This way Steve Job's childish tantrums will be mostly what gets covered."

Hmm, well, I don't know if there are no mirrors in the restrooms at BBC or not, or what new plastics worth smoking have emerged, but Yahoo!'s CEO Bartz felt compelled to sit down and talk about, er, Google's problems. Yes, you heard me right - I ain't the one smokin' stuff baby. What with all the crazies around us, why bother..

Why not, right?

You may be surprised and ask why Yahoo!'s CEO would dare speak about Google. I defy you sir, indeed, I dare you - why not?

Look at it this way. If you have been the CEO of Autodesk and have done a cool job of running the organization to the ground, your next stop would be to exercise these muscles would be Yahoo!, right?

That must have been the logic, when Yahoo! chose to replace the wizard of Silicon Valley, Jerry Yang ("WHAT", you say, have you been reading the news, I ask) with Bartz.

Actually, when Yahoo! went begging for people to take the job, word on the street is - not even the marginally bad ones wanted it.

After Jerry Yang's success at keeping Microsoft at bay, at the cost of all those grannies' pensions, of course, Bartz can take Yahoo! DOWN a new path.

If there was any reason for her to hold back on the "advice giving brouhaha", the fact that she has become one of the highest paid CEOs (yes, that's right, pay for "performance" be damned to hell and back), she has no fear.

Apparently, Google is only famous for search. Now Google is just as evil as everyone out there and needs no defending. Plus, it makes truck loads of money advertising on all the free tools I use.

Yet, you've got to be so disconnected from reality to be talking about Google's "problems". First of all, they are all oh so phantom...secondly, lady, just do something, anything to shore up Yahoo!

All that increase in revenue? Yeah, that's from the fall in revenue.

When was the last time anyone used Yahoo! for search? Or Bing? 50% of the business my pink tushy! Apparently, search is 50% of Yahoo!'s business. And the other 50%?

I know Sarah Palin used Yahoo! Mail for official state business and got someone else convicted, but other than that....

The next step?

It is obvious isn't it? In California, we have a tradition. If you have managed to turn your company's stock price into pulp, then you have two directions to go down:

1. The U.S. Senate - just look at the aspirations of Carly Fiona!

2. California's Governorship - Ah, to imagine that Meg Whitman wishes to do to California what she did to eBay....and one sits here thinking how could thinks get worse in CA?

Why not, right? If Yahoo! can give you bags of money ($47 million to be precise) for a year's worth of predicting Google's problems, I really have nothing more to say. The jaws stopped drawing long ago...

One thing is certain. At a minimum, this has reminded us Yahoo! still exists...


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