[Please click on title to read original article]
Just watch the video at
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7654267.stm
and go back to work, slackers!!!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The new VMWare competitive strategy - Butt head against wall. Say "ouch".
[Please click on title to read original article]
Yes, the best
While
{do-nothing}
loop ever!!!!
See, I remember something about my programming lessons!
[Alternate Title: See, if we don't call it an Operating System anymore, it's dead, right guys? Can we make this our corporate strategy?]
The OS may some day become history indeed. But just being a Microsoft-hater and poopy all over won't do it. After all the pizaaz about its IPO (following nearly a dozen years of remarkably underwhelming existence...) VMWare has been constantly pointing South.
Then, they got rid of their CEO, her founding husband and have now embarked in a "Smoke Mushroom first, Toot empty horn next" campaign to nowhere.
Let's see...hmm
First came their VP of something or the other in Australia (also South, looking from North, that is) who said the OS will be dead in 10 years, and that we will all be running lean, mean linux machines because it will magically gain traction in the next decade displacing its remarkable inability to go nowhere beyond impressing sleepless, hapless engineers for 3 decades prior...
Was that a long sentence or what?
Now their CEO thinks the OS is already dead. Boy what a couple of months it has been for the OS in Wonderland...
Anyway, Cheech and Chong aside...
You know what, Microsoft, Sun and Oracle are entering the brouhaha, and no matter what the folks at VMWare say, if the leaders of an organization leave, if it stocks dip below the ground and if Microsoft is in the game, you are going nowhere.
What amuses me is this unwanted snaziness in saying things like "Microsoft will die", "OS no more".
I am not saying MS will not or should not die. But they are big. They entered the server market and put out Sun. They entered in '93 and were up to 35% in 2007. In fact, compared to Apache, they are lower, but even Google lost share in August 2008.
MS entered the gaming market. Look where Sony is today. Yes, yes, Wii is out, but Wii exists only because MS almost killed off both the players in the market in the shortest span of time since it entered any market.
And to Zune, all I got to say is, if people are stupid enough to buy the iPhone and iPod, why not the Zune. Add Apple's closed-mind idiocy to that and sooner or later you have got MS stealing a certain market share there also.
It all goes back to one point - platforms.
Plus, even in the browser market, Chrome and Firefox will have eons to go before they get accepted in the enterprise.
What does this all mean?
Just like you can't convert an election into a high school popularity contest about "hope" and bitch about it when the opposite side one-ups you, you cannot simply create an OS, not call it an OS and think you will win...
You know what VMWare really needs?
Fewer MBAs who consume Red Bull and yell out crap, and more engineers and scientists.
You know what they have been doing?
Getting rid of their scientist-founders and wifes.
Do you know what this means about their future.....?
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Yes, the best
While
{do-nothing}
loop ever!!!!
See, I remember something about my programming lessons!
[Alternate Title: See, if we don't call it an Operating System anymore, it's dead, right guys? Can we make this our corporate strategy?]
The OS may some day become history indeed. But just being a Microsoft-hater and poopy all over won't do it. After all the pizaaz about its IPO (following nearly a dozen years of remarkably underwhelming existence...) VMWare has been constantly pointing South.
Then, they got rid of their CEO, her founding husband and have now embarked in a "Smoke Mushroom first, Toot empty horn next" campaign to nowhere.
Let's see...hmm
First came their VP of something or the other in Australia (also South, looking from North, that is) who said the OS will be dead in 10 years, and that we will all be running lean, mean linux machines because it will magically gain traction in the next decade displacing its remarkable inability to go nowhere beyond impressing sleepless, hapless engineers for 3 decades prior...
Was that a long sentence or what?
Now their CEO thinks the OS is already dead. Boy what a couple of months it has been for the OS in Wonderland...
Anyway, Cheech and Chong aside...
You know what, Microsoft, Sun and Oracle are entering the brouhaha, and no matter what the folks at VMWare say, if the leaders of an organization leave, if it stocks dip below the ground and if Microsoft is in the game, you are going nowhere.
What amuses me is this unwanted snaziness in saying things like "Microsoft will die", "OS no more".
I am not saying MS will not or should not die. But they are big. They entered the server market and put out Sun. They entered in '93 and were up to 35% in 2007. In fact, compared to Apache, they are lower, but even Google lost share in August 2008.
MS entered the gaming market. Look where Sony is today. Yes, yes, Wii is out, but Wii exists only because MS almost killed off both the players in the market in the shortest span of time since it entered any market.
And to Zune, all I got to say is, if people are stupid enough to buy the iPhone and iPod, why not the Zune. Add Apple's closed-mind idiocy to that and sooner or later you have got MS stealing a certain market share there also.
It all goes back to one point - platforms.
Plus, even in the browser market, Chrome and Firefox will have eons to go before they get accepted in the enterprise.
What does this all mean?
Just like you can't convert an election into a high school popularity contest about "hope" and bitch about it when the opposite side one-ups you, you cannot simply create an OS, not call it an OS and think you will win...
You know what VMWare really needs?
Fewer MBAs who consume Red Bull and yell out crap, and more engineers and scientists.
You know what they have been doing?
Getting rid of their scientist-founders and wifes.
Do you know what this means about their future.....?
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Welcome to the dark side, iDIOTs
[Please click on title to read original article]
So, you know, banks were tumbling, "management" "consultants" who fit "square pegs into round holes" (or was it the other way round?) and "investment bankers" with limo services, free wine and so on were being discarded on the streets, Nepalis were protesting bans on nude discos (now, why would someone do that, really?) and I had no motivation to blog.
None at all.
Till...morsels of food went up nose as I chuckled my a(star)(*) off! - Well, that didn't happen, as I eat soup for lunch...
To un-digress,
Apple is back, Steve Jobs is fat again, and the iPhone is the rage, everybody is an idiot and what not....
See, we are talking about a company that is supposed to be selling "better" computers and "products".
It is supposed to be the "brainchild of a marketing genius" and what not...
You know what it is?
Extortion! Plain and simple.
Apple really does not care about anything but itself.
If you use Microsoft, they want you to feel like an ass.
If you question the necessity for $199 for a phone, they scoff at you.
If you want to use their idiotPhone through anything but AT&T or Orange or Durango or whoever is the lucky lottery winner they ignore you.
If you try to hack into their phones for pre-paid services (which now is as simple as inserting a sim card into their phone), they glare at you.
If you questioned how Martha Stewart had to go to prison while Apple just paid $14 million for crimes it knowingly, willingly and arrogantly committed, they snicker.
If you are an iPhone developer, they...well you are just an idiot.
Did you stand in line for hours and buy an iPhone? You are in the same plane as an iPhone developer. For details, see above.
Enjoy!!!!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
So, you know, banks were tumbling, "management" "consultants" who fit "square pegs into round holes" (or was it the other way round?) and "investment bankers" with limo services, free wine and so on were being discarded on the streets, Nepalis were protesting bans on nude discos (now, why would someone do that, really?) and I had no motivation to blog.
None at all.
Till...morsels of food went up nose as I chuckled my a(star)(*) off! - Well, that didn't happen, as I eat soup for lunch...
To un-digress,
Apple is back, Steve Jobs is fat again, and the iPhone is the rage, everybody is an idiot and what not....
See, we are talking about a company that is supposed to be selling "better" computers and "products".
It is supposed to be the "brainchild of a marketing genius" and what not...
You know what it is?
Extortion! Plain and simple.
Apple really does not care about anything but itself.
If you use Microsoft, they want you to feel like an ass.
If you question the necessity for $199 for a phone, they scoff at you.
If you want to use their idiotPhone through anything but AT&T or Orange or Durango or whoever is the lucky lottery winner they ignore you.
If you try to hack into their phones for pre-paid services (which now is as simple as inserting a sim card into their phone), they glare at you.
If you questioned how Martha Stewart had to go to prison while Apple just paid $14 million for crimes it knowingly, willingly and arrogantly committed, they snicker.
If you are an iPhone developer, they...well you are just an idiot.
Did you stand in line for hours and buy an iPhone? You are in the same plane as an iPhone developer. For details, see above.
Enjoy!!!!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Monday, August 25, 2008
This week's focus - My story. Please read and vote (Its story 9)!!!
[Please click on title to read original article]
Once again, the link:
http://www.dailywritingtips.com/short-story-competition-sixth-batch-is-open-for-voting/
And yes, please do let me know what you think!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Once again, the link:
http://www.dailywritingtips.com/short-story-competition-sixth-batch-is-open-for-voting/
And yes, please do let me know what you think!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Friday, August 22, 2008
iPhone...iFake?
[Please click on title to read original article]
Ha ha ha, please click on that link and see for yourself:
"In New York, some Apple fans were miffed that the first people waiting in line for the iPhone 3G were activists hoping to stir up publicity for a cause. But don't you think they would've been even more ticked off if those first spots in the line were taken up by paid actors?"
If you are an Apple "fan" you don't have much bragging rights or the ability to be miffed. You already got punked, miffed and what not.
So, now a woman in Alabama is suing apple. Indians are making fun of a phone that costs $700 and is behind other Indian phones in technology!!! And..the company behaves like a teenager refusing to admit exactly what it is that their updates do...to their own customers!
Here is a slogan I am ready to give away for anyone who wants to start an Apple "Fan" Club:
"We put the i in iDIOT"
Apple Fan? Want to retaliate?
Only emails sent from "My new 3G iPhone" will be accepted. (Or come stand in front of my house for 36 hours and yell)
Like, they are ever going to get here...on time, or before eternity itself ends!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Ha ha ha, please click on that link and see for yourself:
"In New York, some Apple fans were miffed that the first people waiting in line for the iPhone 3G were activists hoping to stir up publicity for a cause. But don't you think they would've been even more ticked off if those first spots in the line were taken up by paid actors?"
If you are an Apple "fan" you don't have much bragging rights or the ability to be miffed. You already got punked, miffed and what not.
So, now a woman in Alabama is suing apple. Indians are making fun of a phone that costs $700 and is behind other Indian phones in technology!!! And..the company behaves like a teenager refusing to admit exactly what it is that their updates do...to their own customers!
Here is a slogan I am ready to give away for anyone who wants to start an Apple "Fan" Club:
"We put the i in iDIOT"
Apple Fan? Want to retaliate?
Only emails sent from "My new 3G iPhone" will be accepted. (Or come stand in front of my house for 36 hours and yell)
Like, they are ever going to get here...on time, or before eternity itself ends!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Now unveiling in a blog near you...a "Dear MS Outlook" moment!!!!
[Please click on title to read original article]
Alternate Title: The World does a 'Microsoft', only Microsoft does better...
First Read This:
" "Dear MS Outlook," Owen Schultz wrote, "I am so sorry about our breakup several years ago. I have been thinking about you a lot since then. Will you please consider taking me back? Just one more chance? I'm sorry about all the horrible things I said about you and your operating system. You were the best I ever had! MobileMe and I are finished!"
Directly stolen, I mean "adapted" from:
http://weblog.infoworld.com/tech-bottom-line/archives/2008/08/microsoftas_new.html?source=NLC-DAILY&cgd=2008-08-14
and then read the entire article. But remember yours truly as well. For those of you who have known me, I have always touted the fact that Apple is totally unprepared (deliberately so, just like MS, only with much, much more arrogance) for any kind of large customer base.
Yes, yes, they sold so many of this and so many of that. But isn't the world full of idiots accepting dictators, tormentors, mind-changing, hope-touting weaklings and people with 23% or less approval?
What would you expect such an inept world to do?
Of course, buy more and more of the useless.
In any case, the very few of you who know me and equally despise me might have heard me gloating for years about how ineffective Apple is at being able to sell their products to anyone who wants to put them to good use.
Voila!
Apple makes its case as a "better than MS" company (Yeah, Right! - after MS bailed you out) and finally sold copies of an mp3 player and a rather obvious phone design by the millions.
Don't forget the fact that they were neither the first at designing mp3 players nor were they original in even designing them..er, they stole from Creative's patents, desperately fought them and then settled.
Now, their phone swallows email, their website swallows discussion threads ( http://www.techcult.com/iphone-ifail/ ) and their killer swallows apps (Oh, no, that one's not going away...!)
God, what else will this hungry beast swallow?
He he he. Idiots. So now, Silicon Valley is floundering:
1. Gmail has had outages. I experienced these.
2. Yahoo! has had outages. I experienced these.
3. The frikking computing cloud, whatever that mess is, had outages. Amazon, please books. That is all you can barely manage, even now, I dare-say, properly...
4. Netflix has gone to hell, finally...
Who is laughing all the way to the bank?
The creator of the World's largest non-profit and his company.
No one said, MS is perfect, or is going to grow up enough to try and be half-way there, but it is amusing to imagine all the MS haters now wondering in gloom - "What Next".
Meanwhile in a dark alley in the streets of San Francisco, Yang, Jobs and Schmidt plot their next plan to fool the world.
And oh, if Apple cheats and fakes board meetings, "It's all good".
Hate Microsoft? Love Apple?
Be ready for buckets more of ridicule to come your way. The funniest thing is you paid a higher price to be laughed at!
Also Noted: Ever wonder why Apple calls it "MobileMe"? Its all about them, of course, and how they duped you suckers into buying one! Ha ha ha.
And your angry retort "Sent from my iPhone" will take forever to reach me...so don't bother. Uh! Can you hear me now?
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Alternate Title: The World does a 'Microsoft', only Microsoft does better...
First Read This:
" "Dear MS Outlook," Owen Schultz wrote, "I am so sorry about our breakup several years ago. I have been thinking about you a lot since then. Will you please consider taking me back? Just one more chance? I'm sorry about all the horrible things I said about you and your operating system. You were the best I ever had! MobileMe and I are finished!"
Directly stolen, I mean "adapted" from:
http://weblog.infoworld.com/tech-bottom-line/archives/2008/08/microsoftas_new.html?source=NLC-DAILY&cgd=2008-08-14
and then read the entire article. But remember yours truly as well. For those of you who have known me, I have always touted the fact that Apple is totally unprepared (deliberately so, just like MS, only with much, much more arrogance) for any kind of large customer base.
Yes, yes, they sold so many of this and so many of that. But isn't the world full of idiots accepting dictators, tormentors, mind-changing, hope-touting weaklings and people with 23% or less approval?
What would you expect such an inept world to do?
Of course, buy more and more of the useless.
In any case, the very few of you who know me and equally despise me might have heard me gloating for years about how ineffective Apple is at being able to sell their products to anyone who wants to put them to good use.
Voila!
Apple makes its case as a "better than MS" company (Yeah, Right! - after MS bailed you out) and finally sold copies of an mp3 player and a rather obvious phone design by the millions.
Don't forget the fact that they were neither the first at designing mp3 players nor were they original in even designing them..er, they stole from Creative's patents, desperately fought them and then settled.
Now, their phone swallows email, their website swallows discussion threads ( http://www.techcult.com/iphone-ifail/ ) and their killer swallows apps (Oh, no, that one's not going away...!)
God, what else will this hungry beast swallow?
He he he. Idiots. So now, Silicon Valley is floundering:
1. Gmail has had outages. I experienced these.
2. Yahoo! has had outages. I experienced these.
3. The frikking computing cloud, whatever that mess is, had outages. Amazon, please books. That is all you can barely manage, even now, I dare-say, properly...
4. Netflix has gone to hell, finally...
Who is laughing all the way to the bank?
The creator of the World's largest non-profit and his company.
No one said, MS is perfect, or is going to grow up enough to try and be half-way there, but it is amusing to imagine all the MS haters now wondering in gloom - "What Next".
Meanwhile in a dark alley in the streets of San Francisco, Yang, Jobs and Schmidt plot their next plan to fool the world.
And oh, if Apple cheats and fakes board meetings, "It's all good".
Hate Microsoft? Love Apple?
Be ready for buckets more of ridicule to come your way. The funniest thing is you paid a higher price to be laughed at!
Also Noted: Ever wonder why Apple calls it "MobileMe"? Its all about them, of course, and how they duped you suckers into buying one! Ha ha ha.
And your angry retort "Sent from my iPhone" will take forever to reach me...so don't bother. Uh! Can you hear me now?
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Isn't the iPhone so cool...yeah right!
[Please click on title to read original article]
Oh, how the stupid have fallen!
I have no sympathy for people who dog a store for 36 hours to buy an expensive brick from a crazy control freak company/guy. There have been dozens of stories about how DemiGod Jobs prepares for months to fool, I mean market idiots with too much money on their hands.
I have also heard, through a personal friend and ex-apartment mate as to the kind of craziness that reigns project management at Apple.
So, today morning's story has not been all too surprising.
Now, Apple wants to control what its customers own and how they use it. Perfect! You get to be baby-sat (considering, if you spend $500 without knowing what you are buying, you lack any sense of maturity) for $500 + $$$ (AT&T) + $$$ (buying apps that can be unstably disabled any moment now....oops! somewhere in the world, someone's App just got yanked)!
I can imagine Steve Jobs as an incarnation of Uncle Scrooge on top of piles of gold coins, going he he he, clicking away, disabling everyone's apps while ruminating about a new SOB story to tell at commencement new year (Thank You Stanford, the world seemed like such a peaceful place before we heard 'poor' Jobs' life story).
If you are mad at me - consider this, my parents walked to school without slippers, and from where they started, they have achieved quite a bit (well countered and surpassed by the downside of producing me!) and they don't go bitch around about how bad life used to be.
If Stanford really wants bleeding stories for its commencements, it should select homeless people to tell the story. That way, at least we can pay attention to real problems.
In a way, to badly misquote Douglas Adams (who, unfortunately was an Apple fan, making our spiritual post-Earth relationship quite difficult. Adams, I hope you appreciate my view when you read this. For you uninformed, Facebook loving Earthlings, he has passed on, at least from this medium of existence):
Apple is "Mostly Harmless"!
Why?
Well, Microsoft is all pervading.
Apple only f***s up the rich, who, in a way, since I am not rich, deserve what they got (yanked out of their phones) !!!!!
Long live stupidity! It makes the rest of us feel so great....!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Oh, how the stupid have fallen!
I have no sympathy for people who dog a store for 36 hours to buy an expensive brick from a crazy control freak company/guy. There have been dozens of stories about how DemiGod Jobs prepares for months to fool, I mean market idiots with too much money on their hands.
I have also heard, through a personal friend and ex-apartment mate as to the kind of craziness that reigns project management at Apple.
So, today morning's story has not been all too surprising.
Now, Apple wants to control what its customers own and how they use it. Perfect! You get to be baby-sat (considering, if you spend $500 without knowing what you are buying, you lack any sense of maturity) for $500 + $$$ (AT&T) + $$$ (buying apps that can be unstably disabled any moment now....oops! somewhere in the world, someone's App just got yanked)!
I can imagine Steve Jobs as an incarnation of Uncle Scrooge on top of piles of gold coins, going he he he, clicking away, disabling everyone's apps while ruminating about a new SOB story to tell at commencement new year (Thank You Stanford, the world seemed like such a peaceful place before we heard 'poor' Jobs' life story).
If you are mad at me - consider this, my parents walked to school without slippers, and from where they started, they have achieved quite a bit (well countered and surpassed by the downside of producing me!) and they don't go bitch around about how bad life used to be.
If Stanford really wants bleeding stories for its commencements, it should select homeless people to tell the story. That way, at least we can pay attention to real problems.
In a way, to badly misquote Douglas Adams (who, unfortunately was an Apple fan, making our spiritual post-Earth relationship quite difficult. Adams, I hope you appreciate my view when you read this. For you uninformed, Facebook loving Earthlings, he has passed on, at least from this medium of existence):
Apple is "Mostly Harmless"!
Why?
Well, Microsoft is all pervading.
Apple only f***s up the rich, who, in a way, since I am not rich, deserve what they got (yanked out of their phones) !!!!!
Long live stupidity! It makes the rest of us feel so great....!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Navilyst: The newest new old thing...
[Please click on title to read original article]
Alternate Titles:
1. Clueless in Seattle (don't ask me why, I don't know :p )
2. Tutorials in branding, marketing and reading between lines
3. 10 things you cannot learn from THIS press release
4. Press Release for Dummies (the readers)
Alright, so August has me being a tad bit more cynical than usual (and you thought that it was impossible...). Now, I have nothing against the good people at Navilyst, but when Google Alerts started rolling in the press release through multiple websites, I clicked (or took the bait) hoping to see something new, some new competitor in some branch of medical devices and so on.
"A press release is a very useful tool..." - how many times did you read that in your "Tips for Small Business Success" or "Textbook for really expensive yet completely pointless MBA (expands to Much Bigger...) and so on.?
Yet, the press release is a useful tool, when generated appropriately. The key point to note, would be that the press release should also be of eventual use to the journalist, blogger and Google Alert fanatic, not just Navilyst and marketwatch.com .
Once I landed on the press release things got boring pretty fast:
Yes yes, it would have been terrible for the company to be called "Boston Scientific's old Fluid Management Unit sold to try and save company from a stock market debacle, Inc." (for one thing it would have been too long and too truthism-y), but one would hope for something beyond that:
"By 2011 the company should look very different than we do today--and that's exciting," - sorry Ron Sparks, being different from what you are in 2008 is below any bottomline expectation for 2011!
This is a sad case of people giving themselves stickers for just existing...or just a very weakly thought out statement for a press release.
After this, we come to our real world meanings of the several paragraphs in the press-release:
"We maintain the singular focus of a small, eager organization striving to improve patient care while collaborating with clinicians in the global marketplace"
equals "We are smaller than we used to be, in case you are completely incapable of surmising that yourself."
"Navilyst Medical combines the best attributes of an established medical device company--market-leading technology, superior clinical data, experienced leadership and proven worldwide sales and distribution capabilities"
equals, "We assume you dont know what it means to be an established medical device company because you might be out there presuming that you think one of these is not necessary"
Oh come on, yes we agree, you are projecting yourself as a full entity rather than a broken limb (no sales, marketing, etc). Well, no investor is going to be interested in broken limb companies anyway...
"We maintain the singular focus of a small, eager organization striving to improve patient care while collaborating with clinicians in the global marketplace"
equals space filler,padding, icing, pepper dumped on pizza to 'spice' it up or as the elderly sage said, "Hmmm..."
"Navilyst Medical manufactures and markets a portfolio of fluid management and vascular access products used during some of the most frequent hospital procedures including angiography and angioplasty. Navilyst Medical's Fluid Management business, including the proprietary NAMIC(R) line of products enjoys a leading global market share. Navilyst Medical's vascular access products include devices designed to provide access to the blood stream for patients requiring intravenous antibiotics, nutrition, chemotherapy, blood sampling and hemodialysis. The company's PASV(R) Technology, with strong clinical data, is uniquely designed to automatically close after infusion, disconnection or aspiration, and remain closed during normal pressure fluctuations, reducing the risk of complications including catheter-related bloodstream infections. "
does not equal Press Release. May equal "About Navilyst" in press release or website.
A very good example of what you could put in your $1,500 case study on "10 things to NOT publish in a press release with only 10 things" that you can sell to future company executives.
Barely existing or surviving is not an achievement. We cannot hand each other stickers for this.
Yes, I repeat myself here (about the stickers, of course). Hey, if press releases can do this, why can't a blog do it? And this blog doesn't digest and spit out full article tests (without miserably trying to 'entertain' you first!)
Once upon a time you thought a press release talked about something significant, so that you could spend your time reading 20 - 25 press releases and glean some information that you could use. Nowadays, what with all the "Optimize your SEO" guides out there, the "press release" has become a sad victim of the "Restating the blindingly obvious and/or mundane, Inc." movement...
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Alternate Titles:
1. Clueless in Seattle (don't ask me why, I don't know :p )
2. Tutorials in branding, marketing and reading between lines
3. 10 things you cannot learn from THIS press release
4. Press Release for Dummies (the readers)
Alright, so August has me being a tad bit more cynical than usual (and you thought that it was impossible...). Now, I have nothing against the good people at Navilyst, but when Google Alerts started rolling in the press release through multiple websites, I clicked (or took the bait) hoping to see something new, some new competitor in some branch of medical devices and so on.
"A press release is a very useful tool..." - how many times did you read that in your "Tips for Small Business Success" or "Textbook for really expensive yet completely pointless MBA (expands to Much Bigger...) and so on.?
Yet, the press release is a useful tool, when generated appropriately. The key point to note, would be that the press release should also be of eventual use to the journalist, blogger and Google Alert fanatic, not just Navilyst and marketwatch.com .
Once I landed on the press release things got boring pretty fast:
Yes yes, it would have been terrible for the company to be called "Boston Scientific's old Fluid Management Unit sold to try and save company from a stock market debacle, Inc." (for one thing it would have been too long and too truthism-y), but one would hope for something beyond that:
"By 2011 the company should look very different than we do today--and that's exciting," - sorry Ron Sparks, being different from what you are in 2008 is below any bottomline expectation for 2011!
This is a sad case of people giving themselves stickers for just existing...or just a very weakly thought out statement for a press release.
After this, we come to our real world meanings of the several paragraphs in the press-release:
"We maintain the singular focus of a small, eager organization striving to improve patient care while collaborating with clinicians in the global marketplace"
equals "We are smaller than we used to be, in case you are completely incapable of surmising that yourself."
"Navilyst Medical combines the best attributes of an established medical device company--market-leading technology, superior clinical data, experienced leadership and proven worldwide sales and distribution capabilities"
equals, "We assume you dont know what it means to be an established medical device company because you might be out there presuming that you think one of these is not necessary"
Oh come on, yes we agree, you are projecting yourself as a full entity rather than a broken limb (no sales, marketing, etc). Well, no investor is going to be interested in broken limb companies anyway...
"We maintain the singular focus of a small, eager organization striving to improve patient care while collaborating with clinicians in the global marketplace"
equals space filler,padding, icing, pepper dumped on pizza to 'spice' it up or as the elderly sage said, "Hmmm..."
"Navilyst Medical manufactures and markets a portfolio of fluid management and vascular access products used during some of the most frequent hospital procedures including angiography and angioplasty. Navilyst Medical's Fluid Management business, including the proprietary NAMIC(R) line of products enjoys a leading global market share. Navilyst Medical's vascular access products include devices designed to provide access to the blood stream for patients requiring intravenous antibiotics, nutrition, chemotherapy, blood sampling and hemodialysis. The company's PASV(R) Technology, with strong clinical data, is uniquely designed to automatically close after infusion, disconnection or aspiration, and remain closed during normal pressure fluctuations, reducing the risk of complications including catheter-related bloodstream infections. "
does not equal Press Release. May equal "About Navilyst" in press release or website.
A very good example of what you could put in your $1,500 case study on "10 things to NOT publish in a press release with only 10 things" that you can sell to future company executives.
Barely existing or surviving is not an achievement. We cannot hand each other stickers for this.
Yes, I repeat myself here (about the stickers, of course). Hey, if press releases can do this, why can't a blog do it? And this blog doesn't digest and spit out full article tests (without miserably trying to 'entertain' you first!)
Once upon a time you thought a press release talked about something significant, so that you could spend your time reading 20 - 25 press releases and glean some information that you could use. Nowadays, what with all the "Optimize your SEO" guides out there, the "press release" has become a sad victim of the "Restating the blindingly obvious and/or mundane, Inc." movement...
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Yahoo! : Please don't answer my rhetoric questions... lol :)
Alright, you know I lifted that from MI3.
So, no one at Yahoo! checks their questions for spam or abuse or (pleas for) help, either?
Hmm...what a lovely waste of time.
And what the heck is up with the 7?
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
In Today's Mildly Funny to Insanely Boring Issue...
[Please click on title to read original article]
This is how bored I am!
Moral of the Story: When writing articles (for pay) on Friday, please have a cup of coffee handy. Coffee, not beer!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
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