[Please click on the following to read original article]
Alright I was just joking about my last post being better the Onion. Now, you get to decide for yourself:
Gojilla: http://ysrihari.blogspot.com/2009/07/apple-admits-iphone-is-national.html
King Kong: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/apple_claims_new_iphone_only?utm_source=a-section
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Apple Admits: iPhone is a national security threat
[Please click on the following to read original article]
In a shocking revelation, Apple has admitted that it has been creating weapons of ass destruction. Fearing that the DHS might already have too much on it's hands, and still wanting to let the Government know of it's acts, Apple decided to contact some government agency - ideally one that does not fully understand national security, has no means of handling national security but has the serendipitous nature of having too much time on it's hands - The Copyright Office.
In it's admission, Apple laid out the following:
1. The iPhone takes advantage ofvicarious murderers customers with too much money on their hands and prevents Vegas' economy from benefiting through these guys.
2. It is possible for someone to collect a lot of iPhones in a bag, climb a tall building and launch it at unsuspecting passers-by on the streets below. Given the number of stray iPhones that can be collected and launched thusly, the statistical repercussions are simply alarming!
3. Since Apple has perfected the art of seducing greedyidiots (I mean, they mean, oh well...) customers into waiting unnecessarily for white bricks, it is quite possible that extra-ordinary as they are, the potential customers might take up arms against Apple..
4. Other possibilities exist, but in view of national security concerns, Apple decided to not disclose these to anyone except the relevant Federal Agency - the Copyright Office.
Solution Announced
In view of these extenuating circumstances and cognizant, measurable threats to national security, Apple views it as imperative that every customer who ever buys Apple products subject themselves to the personal scrutiny of Steve Jobs.
In a magnanimous gesture to the American populace (this national security threat does not extend to Europe whose Copyright offices, also with nothing better to do remain unaware of such revelations from Apple), Steve Jobs has agreed to approve every app, every Craigslist personals postings and every naked self-portrait generated by their customers to make sure that they don't contain anything objectionable to our security.
The Obama Administration Weighs In
Considering the gravity of the threat from iPhones, the Obama Administration is said to have launched a full blown search for the right person to buy free beers to diffuse the situation.
Please forward this important national security message to everyone you may know, or not know!
Reference: http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-19512_7-10298646-233.html?tag=nl.e703
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
In a shocking revelation, Apple has admitted that it has been creating weapons of ass destruction. Fearing that the DHS might already have too much on it's hands, and still wanting to let the Government know of it's acts, Apple decided to contact some government agency - ideally one that does not fully understand national security, has no means of handling national security but has the serendipitous nature of having too much time on it's hands - The Copyright Office.
In it's admission, Apple laid out the following:
1. The iPhone takes advantage of
2. It is possible for someone to collect a lot of iPhones in a bag, climb a tall building and launch it at unsuspecting passers-by on the streets below. Given the number of stray iPhones that can be collected and launched thusly, the statistical repercussions are simply alarming!
3. Since Apple has perfected the art of seducing greedy
4. Other possibilities exist, but in view of national security concerns, Apple decided to not disclose these to anyone except the relevant Federal Agency - the Copyright Office.
Solution Announced
In view of these extenuating circumstances and cognizant, measurable threats to national security, Apple views it as imperative that every customer who ever buys Apple products subject themselves to the personal scrutiny of Steve Jobs.
In a magnanimous gesture to the American populace (this national security threat does not extend to Europe whose Copyright offices, also with nothing better to do remain unaware of such revelations from Apple), Steve Jobs has agreed to approve every app, every Craigslist personals postings and every naked self-portrait generated by their customers to make sure that they don't contain anything objectionable to our security.
The Obama Administration Weighs In
Considering the gravity of the threat from iPhones, the Obama Administration is said to have launched a full blown search for the right person to buy free beers to diffuse the situation.
Please forward this important national security message to everyone you may know, or not know!
Reference: http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-19512_7-10298646-233.html?tag=nl.e703
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Yamanoor Srihari's quotes for the day: 07-29-2009
[Please click on the following to read original article]
1. Violate someone's constitutional rights and have a free beer on taxpayer money!
2.When marijuana was legalized in California, a lot of us were shocked, left asking, "Wait, what! So, it was illegal before? ...Dude, I must be so high right now!"
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
1. Violate someone's constitutional rights and have a free beer on taxpayer money!
2.When marijuana was legalized in California, a lot of us were shocked, left asking, "Wait, what! So, it was illegal before? ...Dude, I must be so high right now!"
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Florida's Heuristic Criminal Scene!
[Please click on the following to read original article]
You gotta read about this guy who decided the best way to take off with a lot of cash was to be proverbial - lock, stock and barrel - in this case of course, no guns involved, just the entire cash register.
So, the Florida Police, in an incredible display of crime fighting ability caught him running down the street with the maligned cash register.
Here is where the problem begins:
The thief had stolen some lottery tickets just, on the yester day. And apparently these serendipitous crime-fighters had also just stepped out of viewing a video from another store where this philanderer had been on his now much hackneyed shenanigans. I wonder how he got off with the loot in that instance?
At this hair raising pace, I predict the following is bound to happen:
Florida's thieves might start understanding crime commission better, and slowly but surely grasp concepts such as thieving infrequently and with geographical choas for best results.
Florida's crime fighters will understand that thieves tend to be creatures of habit, and with a certain alacrity, thieves can be caught if videos of theft are viewed rather quickly than with gaps of an entire day in-between the plunder and the investigation.
The real question is:
Who do you think will get ahead over time?
And therein lies the beauty of an evolving heurestic crime scene
Following this axiom, I also postulate, given the nature of this evolution, a state like the one found in Florida could not, but have been created by a sub-intelligent "God"-like creature.
Eat that, Biologists!
For further s*its and giggles:
Click Here!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
You gotta read about this guy who decided the best way to take off with a lot of cash was to be proverbial - lock, stock and barrel - in this case of course, no guns involved, just the entire cash register.
So, the Florida Police, in an incredible display of crime fighting ability caught him running down the street with the maligned cash register.
Here is where the problem begins:
The thief had stolen some lottery tickets just, on the yester day. And apparently these serendipitous crime-fighters had also just stepped out of viewing a video from another store where this philanderer had been on his now much hackneyed shenanigans. I wonder how he got off with the loot in that instance?
At this hair raising pace, I predict the following is bound to happen:
Florida's thieves might start understanding crime commission better, and slowly but surely grasp concepts such as thieving infrequently and with geographical choas for best results.
Florida's crime fighters will understand that thieves tend to be creatures of habit, and with a certain alacrity, thieves can be caught if videos of theft are viewed rather quickly than with gaps of an entire day in-between the plunder and the investigation.
The real question is:
Who do you think will get ahead over time?
And therein lies the beauty of an evolving heurestic crime scene
Following this axiom, I also postulate, given the nature of this evolution, a state like the one found in Florida could not, but have been created by a sub-intelligent "God"-like creature.
Eat that, Biologists!
For further s*its and giggles:
Click Here!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
What can Douglas Adams teach us about life?
[Please click on the following to read original article]
I have been told many times that I live in my own world. This is true. And in my own world, sometimes mistakes are made. One of them, was the fact that I had kept one or two copies (I am crazy about books and don't even know how many + how many copies of those many I have) of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and always thought it was probably an astronomy book I should read.
Hey don't blame me. Alright, maybe you should. But I also thought that Michael Jackson was indeed White for a whole while too..Naivete as the Francois put it.
Coming back to Douglas Adams, I went nuts when I first found out about "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe". This again, of course, involved my own assumptions of what he meant by the "end" and the consequential revelation almost a month later - yes, I savored every line of the book.
Yesterday or day before, I found this link and I thought I will share this with you:
http://www.questforbalance.com/2009/07/22/douglas-adams-guru/
I don't know about "Guru" - the idea of cowering to others of my own species gives me the creeps, but I sure do love Douglas Adams! By the time I found him and his writings, he has long passed.
However, Douglas Adams was never about sobering moments, so if you have not found him yet, I hope you do - through his writings of course!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
I have been told many times that I live in my own world. This is true. And in my own world, sometimes mistakes are made. One of them, was the fact that I had kept one or two copies (I am crazy about books and don't even know how many + how many copies of those many I have) of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and always thought it was probably an astronomy book I should read.
Hey don't blame me. Alright, maybe you should. But I also thought that Michael Jackson was indeed White for a whole while too..Naivete as the Francois put it.
Coming back to Douglas Adams, I went nuts when I first found out about "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe". This again, of course, involved my own assumptions of what he meant by the "end" and the consequential revelation almost a month later - yes, I savored every line of the book.
Yesterday or day before, I found this link and I thought I will share this with you:
http://www.questforbalance.com/2009/07/22/douglas-adams-guru/
I don't know about "Guru" - the idea of cowering to others of my own species gives me the creeps, but I sure do love Douglas Adams! By the time I found him and his writings, he has long passed.
However, Douglas Adams was never about sobering moments, so if you have not found him yet, I hope you do - through his writings of course!
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
PG 17: Here's your "stimulus" plan - Lou Dobbs, a dumb nut or a fiduciary and copulatory clairvoyant?
[Please click on the following to read original article]
You might wonder what this strange title alludes to. And if so, you need to read this:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/will-menaker/lou-dobbs-demands-to-see_b_243733.html
Apparently, Lou Dobbs is certain that Obama is faking his birth certificate. See, this actually is correct. Sargent Crowley was also right:
1. Just because a black man has an ID, doesn't mean he is actually a Harvard Professor.
2. Just because a black man has a birth certificate, doesn't mean he is an American Citizen either.
Naturally, we need to satisfy (oh God) Lou Dobb's curiosity by going back in time and videographing both the conception and the following delivery of Obama.
So, this is The Lou Dobb's Stimulus Plan:
1. Set off a race similar to the race to the moon for the invention of the time machine that will prove Obama's citizenship.
2. Create a great stimulus in the video recording, storage and playback industry to keep up with "Where American Babies Come From" Act.
I feel sorry for not ever doubting our beloved Bush as being the *est person I have known...
Enjoy!
On a more serious note, this plastic-smeller of the West is actually hosting a show on Obama's birth tonight: http://loudobbs.tv.cnn.com/
Foot Note: Thanks to Sriram Sarma for bringing Lou Dobbs into my world tonight.
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
You might wonder what this strange title alludes to. And if so, you need to read this:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/will-menaker/lou-dobbs-demands-to-see_b_243733.html
Apparently, Lou Dobbs is certain that Obama is faking his birth certificate. See, this actually is correct. Sargent Crowley was also right:
1. Just because a black man has an ID, doesn't mean he is actually a Harvard Professor.
2. Just because a black man has a birth certificate, doesn't mean he is an American Citizen either.
Naturally, we need to satisfy (oh God) Lou Dobb's curiosity by going back in time and videographing both the conception and the following delivery of Obama.
So, this is The Lou Dobb's Stimulus Plan:
1. Set off a race similar to the race to the moon for the invention of the time machine that will prove Obama's citizenship.
2. Create a great stimulus in the video recording, storage and playback industry to keep up with "Where American Babies Come From" Act.
I feel sorry for not ever doubting our beloved Bush as being the *est person I have known...
Enjoy!
On a more serious note, this plastic-smeller of the West is actually hosting a show on Obama's birth tonight: http://loudobbs.tv.cnn.com/
Foot Note: Thanks to Sriram Sarma for bringing Lou Dobbs into my world tonight.
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thank You Obama!
[Please click on the following to read original article]
Being an African American President is easy. Being a Democrat President is not. Actually being a Democrat President who is outspoken is not!!!
What am I talking about?
The most recent comments by Obama on the Cambridgate issue. I was impatiently waiting for Obama to say something. I guess we must give the man credit, since he must have been really busy.
What I like is the forceful language. Before seeing Obama's opinions, I was going to blog about the insensitive clowns defending Cambridge PD with the title "This is why they have the word idiot in the English language" (although, that's only partially true, because it is also reserved for murderous Applecustomers).
You can't be disorderly in your own friggin' house anymore?
So, exactly what the hell are the idiots trying to defend Cambridge PD talking about? The old man was in his own house. He may have refused to show his ID, but he eventually did.
Okay, forget the fact that you are incredibly clay-headed enough to not realize that this is a person who has contributed so much to American Society.
He is a real person!
What blows here is - there was absolutely no reason to arrest him.
And Gates is right - because one officer was stupid enough, Gates is now "a man with a criminal record whose mugshots can be seen online".
Where is the fairness in all this?
Exactly at what cost do we start allowing the police defend our homes?
Are we in China or the United States?
Where does this persecution by suspicion end?
Well, at Obama's doorstep.
And once again, "Thank you, El Presidente".
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Being an African American President is easy. Being a Democrat President is not. Actually being a Democrat President who is outspoken is not!!!
What am I talking about?
The most recent comments by Obama on the Cambridgate issue. I was impatiently waiting for Obama to say something. I guess we must give the man credit, since he must have been really busy.
What I like is the forceful language. Before seeing Obama's opinions, I was going to blog about the insensitive clowns defending Cambridge PD with the title "This is why they have the word idiot in the English language" (although, that's only partially true, because it is also reserved for murderous Apple
You can't be disorderly in your own friggin' house anymore?
So, exactly what the hell are the idiots trying to defend Cambridge PD talking about? The old man was in his own house. He may have refused to show his ID, but he eventually did.
Okay, forget the fact that you are incredibly clay-headed enough to not realize that this is a person who has contributed so much to American Society.
He is a real person!
What blows here is - there was absolutely no reason to arrest him.
And Gates is right - because one officer was stupid enough, Gates is now "a man with a criminal record whose mugshots can be seen online".
Where is the fairness in all this?
Exactly at what cost do we start allowing the police defend our homes?
Are we in China or the United States?
Where does this persecution by suspicion end?
Well, at Obama's doorstep.
And once again, "Thank you, El Presidente".
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Hey Obama, watch out with those White House gates, they might "call in" about you...
[Please click on the following to read original article]
To all those who thought that racism was over, and it was time to harp about "reverse" racism, here is something to think about. In real life, as in Hogwarts, the magic stops with race and blood.
It is not just disgusting that some woman decided that just because it appeared someone black was trying to break into a house (this woman needs some real help). It is disgusting that police arrived, and despite obviously having found the rather old man (another clue) to be nowhere close to a criminal - arrested him.
Then, and yes, I know, I am repeating stuff you would rather read in a well written, "white" washed (oh, was that a bit mucho?) article, theidiots downtown also did not have the commonsense to apologize and let the man go.
Where they trying to say?
Blacks not welcome here in Cambridge? Or, in our beloved Obama's case, not welcome back?
I don't know about cushy firemen jobs in Connecticut or New Haven, and I do think promoting no one was incredibly stupid and only served to hurt race relations, but we really need action here. I don't think the arresting cop should be fired - his bosses should:
1. They have obviously done a poor job educating their officers on racial and general sensitivity to citizens - I mean come on!
2. They did not intervene and let the poor gentleman go, allowing everyone at the police station believe that it is still A-okay to haul-ass if you can come up with a reason....
And, it proves a point - you may not like Al Sharpton. But he is much needed and I hope he raises some hell at Cambridge.
Maybe a whole bunch of people need to show up at Cambridge and demonstrate that shouting is free speech, especially if you paid the rent or owned the frigging place!
Reference to this misery:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090721/ap_on_re_us/us_harvard_scholar_disorderly
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
To all those who thought that racism was over, and it was time to harp about "reverse" racism, here is something to think about. In real life, as in Hogwarts, the magic stops with race and blood.
It is not just disgusting that some woman decided that just because it appeared someone black was trying to break into a house (this woman needs some real help). It is disgusting that police arrived, and despite obviously having found the rather old man (another clue) to be nowhere close to a criminal - arrested him.
Then, and yes, I know, I am repeating stuff you would rather read in a well written, "white" washed (oh, was that a bit mucho?) article, the
Where they trying to say?
Blacks not welcome here in Cambridge? Or, in our beloved Obama's case, not welcome back?
I don't know about cushy firemen jobs in Connecticut or New Haven, and I do think promoting no one was incredibly stupid and only served to hurt race relations, but we really need action here. I don't think the arresting cop should be fired - his bosses should:
1. They have obviously done a poor job educating their officers on racial and general sensitivity to citizens - I mean come on!
2. They did not intervene and let the poor gentleman go, allowing everyone at the police station believe that it is still A-okay to haul-ass if you can come up with a reason....
And, it proves a point - you may not like Al Sharpton. But he is much needed and I hope he raises some hell at Cambridge.
Maybe a whole bunch of people need to show up at Cambridge and demonstrate that shouting is free speech, especially if you paid the rent or owned the frigging place!
Reference to this misery:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090721/ap_on_re_us/us_harvard_scholar_disorderly
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Ha ha ha ha ha..It happens only in India!
Alright, so I was sick and sleepless. Between dead pedophiles pop stars, extremely redundantly hyped, yet to be realized Operating systems, Republicans' parents who like to pimp them, Presidents who ignore the economy and tour nuclear reactors in Russia and a 500 email backlog, I thought nary a blog would emerge from me this week...
But here I am.
So what is all this about?
It is about the recession, I mean the correction, I mean the recession that is just a correction (ask le economists, okay!?).
Apparently Air India is so broke that it has decided to over-fill it's capacity in passengers. So, they stuffed three extra passengers - one in the cockpit, and two in foldable seats for crew members! I wonder where the crew members were going to sit.
Luckily, the flight never took off, and the passengers were transported off on another plane. The rest is not funny, but can be found here:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/AI-stuffed-in-3-extra-persons/articleshow/4760205.cms
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
But here I am.
So what is all this about?
It is about the recession, I mean the correction, I mean the recession that is just a correction (ask le economists, okay!?).
Apparently Air India is so broke that it has decided to over-fill it's capacity in passengers. So, they stuffed three extra passengers - one in the cockpit, and two in foldable seats for crew members! I wonder where the crew members were going to sit.
Luckily, the flight never took off, and the passengers were transported off on another plane. The rest is not funny, but can be found here:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/AI-stuffed-in-3-extra-persons/articleshow/4760205.cms
Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.
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