Sex, Scandal, Computers and Illicit Matchmaking - Why Microsoft and Yahoo! are perfect for each other and other lores..

Ah! What a week.

We began with a Christian crusader on the interwebs who tried to take down a match-making website for "married folks" (so that they can date someone else, mind you). It turns out, he has accidentally turned into a crusader FOR the website, giving it good marketing and visibility!

Isn't that a holy mackerel for you!

The story is here (but there's more, so come on back now):

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/01/26/facebook_campaign/

Talk about your niche business! After all, the match-making beeswax is crowded and you have to "differentiate" right?

Now, now, if you found your significant other lurking there, don't go on killing this messenger.

Word of advice though: If they say, they were there to check if you were there, you might want to....

Well, what is this Microsoft thing?

You know with all the Google and Apple jazz, Microsoft obviously felt that it was facing stiff competition. Now, others may cringe, but they know what to do!

So, when the going got tough in Israel, they purportedly took their resellers on a cruise and offered them sex workers! Obviously, this is a loose interpretation of "let us make this happen, one way or the other". (The pope might want to take a leaf out of this book, but he comes a little later).

And thus, we have a "world's oldest profession" meets "technology" show!

Of course, EIN, the reseller in question claims that it refused to participate in this orgy and has become victimized. Who knows, maybe there was a misunderstanding? Maybe those exotic ladies were just there because Windows 7 was their idea too...

That story (and by no means is this over, so you need to come back again) is here:

http://www.channelregister.co.uk/2010/01/27/microsoft_offered_ladies/

This week's Do-It-Yourself Project: How to get Yahoo! to expense your lap dance!

Attend one of their "Hack Day" events.

Caveat: You might have to go their Taiwan offices though.

In 2009, Yahoo! brought in developers for a "Hack Day" event. They gave away lap dances for the developers that showed up, and what was cute about this was the fact that it was more of a "What stays in Taiwan happens in Taiwan till someone posts the pictures of lap dances online accidentally and everyone gets angry about it and we fake an apology" kind of an event....

That is right. The "developers" who showed up for this event got lap dances and everybody did a great job of hushing it up!

Yahoo! then started getting worried when folks called it "sexist". Wonder why no one called them "stupid".

You can read about all that here:

http://www.businessinsider.com/yahoo-hires-lap-dancers-for-hack-day-apologizes-2009-10

Note: While reporting and talking about people lamenting that "exotic" dancers were used at the Yahoo! event, all the "reporting" included suggestive pictures, generously gleaned from the ill-fated picturas!

The perfect foundation for a marriage: But honey, I was thinking of you all the time

Obviously, both Yahoo! and Microsoft think of women alike (never mind what they think of them). Their business plans to boost sales and attract developers also seem to be alike. Then why simply merge search? Why not go for the total marriage. Cheating, fidelity and ethical business will be no problem!

On other unholy unions

Well, when two people are unhappy with their marriages, they should separate instead of using the internet to cheat, right?

Well the man in a dress the Pope doesn't agree! He thinks his "people" (the ones on whose behalf the church has paid millions to "settle") should go out and save marriages at all cost.. that is right. Actually he wants these priests to stop annulments at all costs!

You can read about that here:

http://www.calgaryherald.com/life/Pope+says+marriage+annulments+shouldn+easy/2499759/story.html

Wonder how he feels about annulling gay marriages?!

Hnmm, what else does the Pope want?...actually he wants all the priests to go out and blog. He does not want them present, he wants them to use digital communications effectively...

Alright, these are the wonder years, I will wonder once again before you wonder...how does he feel about maritalaffair.co.uk as a digital communication tool?

Okay, we have had enough of this fake Sue Johnson show for one evening!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

iPoop: Apple forgot to check whether iPhad is a good name or if it can even own it in the first place

Apple is at the forefront of innovation. After all, they invented the tablet, even though it already existed for a few years.

It is speculated that soon they claim all words that have "i" in front of them and simply add "i" elsewhere. While there is great speculation whether the next word they will claim is "iDiot" or "innovation", other trouble seems to be brewing elsewhere.

It appears that a lot of women were not happy with the reference to "pad". Moreover there appears to be a long list of people who own the iPad trademark owners ranging from Fujitsu (if you wonder how Fujitsu is linked to pad, how about trying to see how a fruit company is linked to it as well) to obscure owners such as STMicro, apparently Europe's largest chip maker. A word of caution, these are not the kind of chips you eat, so it gets even more boring.

Of course, none of them worry that the "pad" in iPad is not being received well by women. They just want to duke it out.

Meanwhile, across the world, someone (not me, really, not me at all) was heard as saying, "Great, for $499, now you can watch p**n and the keyboard won't get in the way...

Somebody should look to see if iP**n is trademarked yet...then we'll know who's the original perv! Or, iPerv? Must stop writing...must stop!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

An off-topic shameless plug for Skribit!

A while ago, I came across a nifty tool called "skribit". Of course, I think it is nifty and installed it on one of my blogs, hoping people would leave suggestions on what I should write about. While not much panned out then, I thought I will give it a second try.

And of course, there is some shamefulness to it, in that, if I am one of the first hundred people to talk about skribit, I might snag a pro account. Imagine being able to tell me what you want me to write on multiple blogs!

Regardless of the prize, I believe two things are true:

1. Skribit is a cool tool.

2. I want you to tell me what I should write using the tool!

On a more serious note, with everything turn into social media, we now need some motivation for blogs as well. All the supposed experts on blogging tell you that your audience should be motivated to comment on your blog. Most of my audience is composed of my friends and acquaintances and they like just getting in touch with me and telling me what they thought.

So, a tool like skribit might actually help me make the blog interactive with my audience. If you have a blog, you should try it too:

http://skribit.com/


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Massachusetts - The selfish state or Massachusetts - The New Florida?

Hey at least, the people in Florida can celebrate now, right?!

Their dubious distinction in history now has a chance of disappearing into oblivion while people wonder how a state with 3 times the number of Democrats than Republicans could not take care of one senate seat that they had held on for 36 odd years (especially when they had just passed the most important legislation of their lifetime with exactly 60 votes and NONE to spare).

If there ever was one party that was completely clueless from the top (yes, Mr. Dreamy Eyed, "I have no clue but I will promise anything to win" President, it includes you, especially you) to the bottom, what would it's name be?

As to the good folks in Massachusetts, what exactly are you thinking?

The Republicans who brought on the financial crisis will somehow improve things for your state? By being a minority party that simply votes no for everything?

Or, now that you have Universal Healthcare, you don't have to give, as they don't say, a frick about anyone else?

And thus, Massachusetts - you only have these choices for your new state motto:

a. Massachusetts - The selfish state
b. Massachusetts - We don't know where our Democrats went at the crucial moment, state.
c. Massachusetts - The new Florida, minus the sun and worse...


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

And, in this week's "Help! My middle school vice principal is an all round paranoid idi..." section...

This happened, "this week in science".

In the Millennial Tech Magnet Middle School in the Chollas View high school in San Diego, California, a vice principal saw a 11 year old with a Gatorade bottle with wires sticking out of it, concluded that the kid was possibly a terrorist and called the fire department and police to investigate.

Given the school wants to call itself "the Millenial Tech Magnet", you would be shocked and possibly disturbed that the faculty and administration may not have the science knowledge or commonsense that a five year old kid would be expected to have...you would be right in being paranoid, or would you?!

Thank God, everyone is talking about how the kid will not be charged criminally and ignoring the possibility that the school may be laughed at, by even what some unkind folks might call "slow" people...

How many 11 year old home-made bomb builders do you know?

If you are a school teacher or a principal, er "vice" principal, given the probability that you get to meet more 11 year old kids than anyone else, how many home-made bomb building 11 year old kids do you know?

The answer, in all likelihood is zero.

Because in recent human history, minus time machines, parallel universes and child geniuses or aliens nudging kids to build bombs in their basement - the answer is zero, with proof!

Proof, Schmoof!, Right? Call the police and fire department. Are you amazed that they behaved in equanimity with the school?

All I can say is, you amaze easily.

If you are a school principal and see a kid with a box that has wires jumping out of it, maybe you should talk to the student first?

Or the student's teacher?

Or, know enough science to understandwhat a box with wires sticking out of it could do?

Or be a vice principal possibly connected to a shred of reality?

Oh, thank God, our taxes in California or our hard earned money (in case this ingenuity is being run privately and we are the parents funding this) pay for such storied institutions, where "Imagination is more important than Knowledge".

At least Einstein is probably spinning (and not just turning) rather faster in his grave...

Every authority involved in this joke incident is right. It is the kid and his/her parents that need "counseling".

Are you wondering who pays for that counseling? You poor thing...

Here is your "State of the State in Faculty Development and Behavior":

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/jan/15/students-evacuated-school-chollas-view/

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

And, in this week's "Oh so cute and chweet..": a jail bird, er, not exactly a bird...

She is one mean prisoner. She waited and waited till she got her chance. And when the first chance came along, Montenegro's one of a kind prisoner escaped...

Using a flood as a good excuse, she swam away, even as others remained in their, er, cages. What's worse, the prison guards are co-operating, feeding her. Word is out that the villagers are in on it too!

Here is the equivalent of an artist's sketch:

http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/hippo-swims-artificial-lake-farm-Puerto-Triunfo-Colombia-December-21/photo//100113/ids_photos_ts/r3006578692.jpg//s:/nm/20100113/od_nm/us_hippopotamus

The original story:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100113/od_nm/us_hippopotamus


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

What your operating system tells about you...

After years of research (and being ticked of by John Hodgman and Joe the plumberOS designers), I have come to the following statistically significant conclusions...

I am a PC = I am an idiot

I am a Mac = I am a rich idiot

I am a Linux/Android/Red Hat/White toilet paper/Bubbloontoo... = I am a snob who knows more unimportant things than you

I am a blogger = Well, you know...


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Breaking News - News is broken - Sarah Palin now on Fox News. Question is - does it matter....

Joining a long list of near-expletive luminaries such as Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, O "papa bear" Reilly and such, Sarah Palin will now get to make up stuff deliver us news from the much-storied Fox News!

Is this "breaking news"?

You betcha! If news wasn't broken before, it sure as hell is one cousin-loving, drug addicted piece of broken work from now on....



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Australia - The world's worst nation...

Just today morning I had blogged about the incident were Nitin Garg, an Indian was murdered about a week ago and how the dumb police and politicians in Australia were engaged in a morbid cover up to save their education "industry".

I was randomly checking news right now and here we are again:

1. Man of Indian origin, 29 is set on fire.

2. The stupid Australian cops (quite a redundant phrase at this point) say, well, it is unusual but not racist, given that this is the 3rd Indian to be killed and/or burned in less than 10 days.

3. Julia Gillard, an acting Prime Minister among several other well versed Australian actors and pretenders has of course condemned the violence - and thus has achieved the pinnacle of what her heavily limited intelligence can cough up.

If you are an Indian, and you are in Australia, it is time to pack up and leave matey.

And if my Government is listening - how about recalling diplomats and canceling those cricket games. Oh, let's add some spice - we will not play cricket with any nation that plays with Australia.

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?

Australians hurt by truthreferences to racism....

Australia is enraged.

Australia, is really, really enraged.

They are enraged about a KKK poser cartoon in an Indian newspaper I, as an Indian myself don't read.

They are enraged with the fact that simply burning a few of 'em Injuns is suddenly such a big deal.

So is a nice little KFC ad that is offensive to 'em African Americans.

Apparently, the truth or the insinuation of it is too much for them to handle.

Why not?

Australians are as much likely to burn down Indians as the Londoners or those New Yorkers are bound to..

Except, how many Indians have been burned in London since Yule turned it's tide? Or in the past decade.

Of course their argument is that the Indians don't get killed because of racism, it is simply that they are soft targets.

Well, then why worry if the soft targets associate you with KKK?

Their other argument (uh!) is that more Indians die in India than in Australia...ergo, either it doesn't matter, or Indians are more racist to Indians in India than Australians are to Indians in Australia.

Deal with it Australia - you have a race problem. And you are too Australian to even realize that, and definitely immature enough to be unable to deal with it...

Read the following, and weep:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8447465.stm


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Copyright Information: Whereas the blog postings themselves are stolen by the author from the recesses of his deranged mind, he holds all the rights to everything on this blog. Yet, he secretly hopes you will copy his stuff to satisfy his ego. He may still sue you to prove to the world that he makes stuff worth pirating...seriously, still reading this?