Change how I preypray? Separate Church from what? Well, Separate "this" says our friendly, neighborhood Warren....

[Please click on title to read original article]

Cynicism is an amazing tool. When you learn very, very early in life that people never mean what they say (hear that Jesus?), you settle well into reality.

But, if you have been polluting your backyard with golf courses while driving a Subaru or Prius (or both, which makes you the perfect fluff cake) and telling the rest of the world how it should be, you probably get blindsided by people like Obama.

I was somewhere in between myself. On November 4, I let my guard down. Well, thank you Jesus!

What is amazing is the fact that it took George Bush 8 years to do to what Obama and Rick Warren are going to achieve in the span of a few minutes (or seconds).

No wonder YOU are not the Person of the Year...

Of late, what respected constitution have you tried to dissolve in a few minutes?

How many of the people who trusted you have you let down in a jiffy by using platitudes to defend yourself?

Meanwhile, in another part of the world, the Palins are now grandparents.

We live among a breed of role models indeed!!!

Yes, January 20, 2009 is the end of an error.

It is also the day you realize you are very, very, very error prone. After all you are human aren't ya?

Don't trust me? Good, wait around for no actions on abortion, human rights, gay rights and a host of Lincolnian platitudes served up as excuses.


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Run, don't walk - here come the useless lists of what was and what will be...

[Please click on title to read original article]

Every year, we have a breed of lists that are fomented in the dark back alleys of the interwebs. What is the point? Most of them are incredibly useless.

So, I have decided to one up as an act of revenge - I am collating a useless list of lists.

Here is the first one:

http://www.infoworld.com/article/08/12/23/10_things_that_wont_survive_the_recession_1.html

And no, this year, YOU are not the person of the year. That, is, sooooo last year....

Watch this space for more sarcasm, cynicism, foul language, ancestral mis-references and other wonders of the English language snidely attributed to the creators, actors and readers of such lists....




Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

And, in today's incredibly fake, useless and mind-numbing "research" news....

[Please click on title to read original article]

Read the article and weep gently. A bunch of idiots, not named in this article have spent their time "researching" into whether or not Charles Dickens was "accurate" in representing Oliver Twist and his desire to ask for "more" in his fictitious work Oliver Twist.

Following this highly applaud-worthy research, they are now going to Middle Earth to spew more random, crappy garbage about the inane fool who wrote The Lord of The Trash Rings crap.....

Meanwhile the fraud, no, IgNobel committee will come back after its investigations into fraud, bigotry, bribery and other crimes of wonder to award these great researchers who pounded Charles Dicken's miserable failure to write "accurate" fiction...

Makes you want to pull yer hairs, don't it?


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

You gays must just learn to protest only when it is not important to the rest of us - Obama

[Please click on title to read original article]

Wait a second...so they create a seven page questionnaire, make a big deal of Clinton's wheeling and dealing, and pick her anyway after her husband's foundation was funded by Blackwater (go read the news. If this surprised you, you are lazy and not reading).

But, they did not vet this?

Or did they just not care?

On top of not taking a stance on Prop 8, this is just plain, old - fashioned, sexist biogtry.

Thank You Obama and Warren, we now have change...for a dollar, not the other kind everyone voted for.

From hereon, its a slippery slope until 2017...



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

What's in a name you say...hmm! || Walmart... now serving bigots at a store near you

[Please click on title to read original article]

Hey, wasn't the first amendment supposed to make idiots out of all of us? How can people on the interwebs and a damned cake store take that away from us?

Read here:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081217/ap_on_fe_st/odd_hitler_cake

You have to hear what the bigot says. "He may grow up and socialize with black people."

Its 2008 and this fellow is still shameless to speak like this...

Oh, and in case you think what this has to do with Walmart?

Well, you could tell why they keep making profits - catering to anyone and everyone that brings business at the footstep.

Hmm..

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Okay, so whatever is wrong with Illinois?

[Please click on title to read original article]


First we found out about Blogovoblogogobovich and then Jon Stewart told us that 3 of the last 7 Governors of Chicago went to prison (!) and with Blogovogo..that would make a 50% of Governors going to prison (!!!)....

And then there are these 4 idiots who decided to commit a felony. Robbing for pizza is stupid. Robbing when stupid is impermissably stupid. Being an Illinois'ian is?

This has now finally wiped off the shame wrought on Florida and Texas for...

Illinois is now officially...

Let's hope Obama, and his Chicago heavy cabinet are unlike these pioneers of pizza thievery...


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Goldman Sucks Sachs - now bringing 2.0 of incredibly inaccurate oil price predictions

[Please click on title to read original article]

Let's be honest. This is worse than the boy who cried wolf. I did not even read the article. Who cares about the abracadabras that the "analysts", "experts" and whatever other goobs in Goldman cooked up?

The most unnervingly idiotic moment came, in Q3 when oil prices were incessantly falling and Goldman "stood by" its "predictions" of $200 oil.

Were they trying to dupe someone somewhere?

And mind you, when Goldman was "standing by" its numbers, oil was on a slippery slope - should I say pun, intended?

So now these Scooby-Doos are predicting $45 for 2009.

Hmm, I "predict" $700.

If we are throwing numbers, why give a frack how off they are, right?

Are you a tax payer?

If so, it is idiots like this (not exactly Goldman Sucks Sachs - okay why do I keep doing that!) that you "bailed out" while sitting at home jobless or at work fearing it will go away.

Enjoy watching Uncle Sam take your cash to Atlantic City....

Because we can't live without these "teams", "analysts" and "experts"!


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Hey! Texas has a new "Global" Village Idiot...

[Please click on title to read original article]

Over the years I have spent on the interwebs (thanks to our friendly neighborhood convicted felon Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens), I have come across many kinds of idiots.

Idiots who thought giving away passwords to online services was bad (when a 3 year old child could "crack" their passwords)

Idiots who thought the 10 emails they were getting was "too much" and "spam"...

Idiots who thought "Linux will take over the world by storm 10 years from now..." (this for the last 10 years...so it's a lovely moving target)

Anyhooo,

This teacher takes the cake, the IgNobel Award, the ....

In the words of the great Carlos Mancia, she is a new-age, reborn, "Did Ti Dee"!!!

Did she sleep through the last 20 years? Does she not know what Linux is or means? Has she never downloaded a "freeware app" in her life?

And she is TEACHING?

At least, she has managed to disappoint the family of "You Know Who" and the "One Who Shall Not be Named (because we are all ashamed of his 8 years of reign of Error)".

How?

Because she has one upped them!

So, is there something in the air of Texas? Or in the Texas "Tea"?

Well, with such people bringing down the collective IQ of our species, at least we can look forward to evolution.

Yes, evolution mes Kansas-ian amis.

Would you really believe God created such geniuses on purpose? You know what that would make God, if it were true...?!!!

The jokes will never end. So, let me just end this post.




Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

F-you says Thain - I did the blindingly obvious and I need to be paid $10 million for it

[Please click on title to read original article]

I seriously don't know what this guy has been smoking. Merrill Lynch had no other choice! They would have FAILED!

You know F-A-I-L-E-D.

Instead, they were urged, egged, and I am sure brow-beaten to do the obvious and now this jerk is seeking $10 million for that?

Well I hope he doesn't get "Lynched" but let's do this....

Let's give him $10 million.

And then, let's investigate him. After all, if Merrill Lynch "nearly" failed, he must be responsible for that somehow, right?

It would be nice to see someone with $10 million in prison...

Seriously, are some of these guys THAT clueless and GREEDY?

The portrayal of Peter Griffin's father-in-law Peter Schwedirmit or whatever is so accurate!

Thain, you are so frickin' vain!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

How winning can be the WORST thing that happened to you or the need for Mobile Mormon Churches in California

[Please click on title to read original article]

Alternate Title: Mormon Church Declares - "When we do it, it is moral responsibility, when you do it, it is racism"

At first it appeared that we might have to consider answering the calls to boycott Utah (I am going to be there by month end) or the Mormon Church (I could care the least for any kind of church or temple).

Hmm, but it looks like they dug themselves in.

I am sure the 5-star rateable board room of the Mormon Church in Utah must resemble very little like the place where people who are happy congregate right now.

See, for years, they were practicing on their own corner. First Mitt Romney's unsuccessful run did not make them too happy - almost indicating that at least among conservative voters, Mormonism is not winning any special votes.

Then came Hate, I mean Eight.

I cannot but laugh to think at how much they must be kicking themselves in. Here is what has resulted, all thanks to the Mormon Church and their 22.5 Million $$$:

1. Their church has now been permanently damaged, which even 22.5 Billion $$$$$ cannot fix.

2. Gay Marriage Ban WILL be DEFEATED SOON in California.

I find it amusing thinking forward to a time when we will be calling them to congratulate them on bringing equality to California.

I will blog again that day. Very soon.



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

To rob the gay man and pay the chicken - California's darkest moment in the 21st century...

[Please click on title to read original article]

I consider myself a Californian, having lived in the lovely, crazy, out of its own mind state for about 7-ish year now. I cherish her history, her peoples, her riches, her Gold and many other things.

However, California has a very very dirty side - Her history includes a radio reporter who once claimed that a plane crash was not of concern because it took with it only "a few deportees".

The city of Los Angeles once tried to prevent fellow Americans enter the city limits during the depression era when they were trying to escape the sand storms.

Then there were other big and small cases of discrimination of immigrants, including efforts to prevent children of illegal immigrants from obtaining education because of choices their parents made...

But nothing breaks your heart more than when Californians show more concern for the animals they are about to eat than the men and women that they live with as a society.

I am not gay and I don't vote. My simple question is, how can we allow money from outside the state and a few priests inaugurate one of our darkest moments in modern history?

I really, really hope the courts set this grave wrong right as soon as possible.

And hopefully, in 2012 the 52-48 will switch around!

As to those protesting peacefully (not you jerks jumping on cars), my heart goes out to you!

Being part of Human History....the election of Barack Obama!!!

There is nothing funny in this post, I don't care who reads it but there is a lot of happiness!!! This is not about politics or partisanship or ideology either.

I am a very hard critic and very very hard to win over, and I don't care what you think about it.

I started with serious doubts of Obama's experience and how he would hold up against a Republican onslaught in a very important year for Democrats. I was a big fan of Hillary Clinton and did not hide my disappointment at her loss.

I was reconciling myself to Obama as a candidate. As the time went on - and between August and now, it was so short indeed, my opinions slowly changed.

Everyone who lives in the time of a hero has a moment of faith.

True, Obama is yet to do what will qualify him to be a hero.

And its not about him being a hero.

Its about the hope he has sold us on.

ANYONE can become ANYTHING there is to become if they are honest to themselves and they have the determination.

Senator Barack Obama converted me on the third and final debate.

There was Senator John McCain, to whom I became endeared through Jon Stewart's Daily Show, really riling him up - saying all these un-McCainly things...

And there was this man, cool, composed, confident and dignified...

That was the moment, I knew, there is no single doubt in my mind - this is the man, Barack Obama who will lead us into a world filled with hope, determination and progress.

True, his Presidency will start riddled with problems. True, tomorrow morning we will not wake up to a world minus suffering.

BUT,

we have hope today.

The hope that millions of people who lived and heard Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr. had.

I have a dream, you have a dream, we all have dreams.

And now, we have one more thing....hope!

History, determination and grit!!!

[Please click on title to read original article]

It never gets better than this. Here I am, sitting in my hotel room, lapping up the news and loading up on coffee..

and there, is a 92 year old woman whose age was not the least part of her determination to be heard. She voted, straight from an ambulance.

No one in their right mind would not want to be part of this moment in history, as we are only hours away from Senator Barack Obama, a person I did not initially support (I was a die-hard Hillary fan and I also used to like the maverick McCain who used to show up on the Daily Show before he went moose hunting and lip-sticking on us!)...

And, I am humbled and honored to see so many people, young and old work with grit and determination to create what will be repeated over and over in history books.

And, I don't even vote...

Viva Owen!!!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Australia: Don't give us your poor, and definitely NOT your sick, Goddamit!

[Please click on title to read original article]

Immigration is a hot button everywhere. I am an Indian who is currently an immigrant in the US, and I know that immigrants who come to India also face some kind of issue.

A lot of immigration issues are contentious, but nothing made me sick in the stomach...until now. Mind you, its quite tough to make me sick in the stomach.

So yes, there is nothing funny in this blog.

The less said the better about this issue in Australia, the better. You know, whenever I used to see them in context of cricket with India, following all that nastiness a few months ago with Harbajan Singh and the recent emotional wails over their loss in India, it did bother me, just a bit.

I have also known that they have been very idiotic at handling immigration issues before.

Now, trying to stop someone who is serving their community because their son is a victim of Down's syndrome is....well, quite Australian.

You know a new expletive is born today.

Two things,

1. I wonder why people still want to immigrate to Australia

2. I am proud today of where I came from and where I live, two places that are not, well Australia...!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Question to Subaru Outback Owners...!

[Please click on title to read original article]

Why does the TV ad about Subaru Outback owners make you look like how Apple makes Apple product owners?

You know...like the kind of people who like other people who are very much like them...in tastes, in looks, outside, inside everywhere?

Bloody Pricks at the Marketing Departments...

Here is the deal - a lot of us don't wash our fungling cars....that's because we are lazy.

Subaru Outback owners - you are also lazy, sloppy and dirty.

The only paradoxical problem is - people who like other people like themselves are stereotypically supposed to be very clean...

What? Oh, the stereotype hurts?

Well stop airing the frikking ads.

You don't need to own a Subaru Outback to love nature.

There is actually no need to own a Subaru Outback...unless, like the TV puts it, you like...well you get it - hmm, maybe not!!!

After all dirty cars is not how nature intended us to be!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

You see it wasn't me, it was my mouth which has a tongue, which has a mind of its own...at least something in me has a mind..!

[Please click on title to read original article]

One thing is clear - you can never say Pawlenty or Bachmann have no functional minds, er..brains. Because, something works, sort of.

One opens her mouth and talks about something completely unrelated to her job in a completely inexplicable manner.

The other apparently claims, "If you talk all day, you are bound to make an idiot of yourself".

I wonder why God Jesus, who created the world and the dinosaurs not just more than 10,000 years ago, put a separate minds on our tongue....

BECAUSE

If you don't use your mind, your tongue will do it's own thinking and that ain't good for ya.

Really?

You Betcha!

Gosh Darn It, just ask Bachmann!!!



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Nothing funny, but will still make you smile...

[Please click on title to read original article]

Far from the maddening crowd is a heartening story.

Someone who is responsible, at 106!!!

If you are any younger than 106, eligible to vote, to complain to act against injustices and elect not to do so, because you think your voice won't be counted in...shame on you!

If you have voted, smile :)

The elders are with you!



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

RIAA to Judge: No one vexes the Vexterminator! Judge, now you listen to me..you better make her stop vexing us...

[Please click on title to read original article]

In case you did not know, the Repeated Idiocy Association of Asses otherwise known as the RIAA and operating under a false acronym as the Recording Industries Association of America, has not won a single case definitively.

So, in the landscape of American law, and Global humor, they are a blimp.

More like a bleep...many would say.

Their job includes refusing to admit that there are better ways to sell music, or in case of an ability to do so, make money out of it, and an incessant abuse of the American Judiciary System.

The American Judiciary System is of course filled with Judges who seem to like taking such abuse....hmm, what do we call people who like taking abuse and derive "pleasure" from it?

In any case, now that McCain who voted in favor of DCMA himself has found to be receiving his own medicine, you would think, things may change.

Of course McCain has his own problems, given how pallin' with Palin is not proving to be effective, at least in this week's phonothon of "people with nothing better to do than answer phone calls from media" have shown...

Coming back to the uninteresting, yet entertaining issue at hand, last month, something incredible happened.

A judgment delivered by a jury in the court of a seemingly manic-depressive Jammie Thomas (because he changed his mind about his own instructions!!! - after the jury delivered the verdict based ON his instructions) was overturned by the said Jammie Thomas himself/herself(?).

The premise of the judge, rightfully so, is that just making the songs available is not infringement.

Why?

If I left a book on the table and somebody walked off to a copier and made copies, am I liable because I did not put a frikking book under lock and key?

In any case, all's not well for the RIAA judgment. This was the only judgment that looked like it would stick.

But now even that is gone!

Why? Because the defense lawyer for this 22 year old lady is wanting the Texas judge (who is not Jammie Thomas) to look into that other judgment and review the case.

The RIAA is pissed!

Their logic?

Well, we are rich, and we have all these lawyers. How dare you oppose us?

When has that logic worked?

When Presidents signed "exceptions".

Of course, said Presidents became just as popular as the RIAA is today!

In any case, their claim is thus:

"Judge, since you already looked into this 2 times, why should you look into it? You are not so smart that you will see through us a third time!

Plus, like we said before, we are rich, and we have all these lawyers...

And now this 22 year old is just bothering us.

See, let's show it to you. We will use a big word: v-e-x-a-t-i-o-u-s

Get it?

Come on, let's get on with this.."

Except, it won't seem like it would work for now. Judges may like to take the pain from RIAA. But eventually they have the "potential" to see through things. Stress on potential.

Two important RIAA-related tidbits on this case:

1. Talk about much ado. All this is over 37 songs and $7,400.

2. The defense lawyer is saying he will settle for $1000 - $200 for six songs, all that the RIAA could manage to download and cause all this self-inflicted defamation!!!

Oh, how the un-mighty keep falling!


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Fraud that claims that something else is fraud - The day the US Elections made me go gooblebooblebooble....

[Please click on title to read original article]

Confused? You betcha!

There you go again, thinking I am going to drag Palin or palling into this....

Gosh Darn It, you city folks!

Now that we have that nonsense out of the way, here is where the fun begins:

Our erstwhile McCain claims that every spelling mistake is an Obama perpetrated fraud. This is not at all surprising.

Not at all surprising you say?

Yeah, the way Democrats have projected Obama, he is omnipotent and omniscient (if you don't know what these words mean, well, you shouldn't read beyond this point - stuck up? you betcha!).

Thus, it is not impossible to conceive that Obama himself acted in massive voter fraud.

And so McCain did NOT abort the idea that Obama was directly involve in voter fraud. Note...did not abort - a strong tie to the party line.

Plus, this conception, or anti-abortion is very useful later.

How you say?

Well, who doesn't believe in grades? - Those that get bad ones.

Who doesn't believe in taxes? - Those that owe back taxes.

Who blames voter fraud? - Any party that loses. That means you too (and primarily you) Democrats!

So, its very useful.

Like saying, your brain is the reason why you are obese..."It's not you, it's me, I mean your brain, but wait, I don't exist...Ah! It hurts"

----

Anyway, first we hear the FBI is investigating ACORN.

Now we hear that the FBI is investigating those who claim that the FBI is investigating ACORN.

And I thought I had ADD!

Don't you love the fact that you don't work for the FBI?





Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

God is everywhere? Puhleeze...says this judge in Nebraska

[Please click on title to read original article]

I am not going to say, "I thought I had seen it all".

Because I did not think so. I did think that I was going to see it all some day. But literal idiocy is not something I thought I would see again, so soon.

Who is the idiot?

It is kinda hard to judge....oh no, no no not the judge....ha ha ha ha.

Well okay, so there is a total genius (you know what word I am replacing with genius right? I love asking those obviating questions...) who decided to show a bunch of people that the "court" is accessible to everyone, rich or poor.

So the genius (because he can find my address, right, so make up your own replacements for genius) decided to sue God.

Okay, now that gets the Republicans, Democrats and the Independents pissed...and don't even think of the ones that don't even like Celestial Cartoons....oh frack, you know, the guys who couldn't take a joke about ...?

Anyway, what does the judge do?

Not something I would have done:

Hold idiots in contempt of court.

Instead, he (or was it a she? I don't know, I was laughing so hard)decided to claim that God has no address.

Won't this get all the God, No-God and other freaks all riled up?

I mean, come on.....

So a complete ass files a fake lawsuit to convince people of something they are too lazy to figure out themselves and this supposedly intellectual judge could only come up with this cold soup for a response?

Are we in retarded times or what?

In case you think I am one sided, here is another obviation, restated for your convenience:

"Retire lazy, corrupt judges, CJI tells HCs" - in India

And Joe, yes, you, if you can read and furthermore, miraculously understand what you read, you are a pain in the you know what.....

I know it was unrelated, but hey, who cares about staying on topic!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Here is why you may never find these thieves..

[Please click on title to read original article]

You know...when someone says, "If you hit me in the head, it could be damaged!"

and you want to ask...

"How would we ever know?"

Have fun!



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

So, like, I'm like, so much smarter than you, 'cause like...

[Please click on title to read original article]

..like I surf the interwebs almost 24 hours a day - that's almost 24 times more than you!!!

Suckers!

Ha ha.

Okay, in theory I completely agree with this UCLA scientist who "studied" people that surf the internet.

But what if I am gorging on porn, facebook, You Tube videos of cats and dogs making idiots of their owners with video cameras....

Well?

Or is it better if I live dangerously and surf calculus websites all night?

Hmm...life goes on!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Look who's stealing 'em Japanese jobs...

[Please click on title to read original article]

Just watch the video at

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7654267.stm

and go back to work, slackers!!!



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

The new VMWare competitive strategy - Butt head against wall. Say "ouch".

[Please click on title to read original article]

Yes, the best

While

{do-nothing}

loop ever!!!!

See, I remember something about my programming lessons!

[Alternate Title: See, if we don't call it an Operating System anymore, it's dead, right guys? Can we make this our corporate strategy?]


The OS may some day become history indeed. But just being a Microsoft-hater and poopy all over won't do it. After all the pizaaz about its IPO (following nearly a dozen years of remarkably underwhelming existence...) VMWare has been constantly pointing South.

Then, they got rid of their CEO, her founding husband and have now embarked in a "Smoke Mushroom first, Toot empty horn next" campaign to nowhere.

Let's see...hmm

First came their VP of something or the other in Australia (also South, looking from North, that is) who said the OS will be dead in 10 years, and that we will all be running lean, mean linux machines because it will magically gain traction in the next decade displacing its remarkable inability to go nowhere beyond impressing sleepless, hapless engineers for 3 decades prior...

Was that a long sentence or what?

Now their CEO thinks the OS is already dead. Boy what a couple of months it has been for the OS in Wonderland...

Anyway, Cheech and Chong aside...

You know what, Microsoft, Sun and Oracle are entering the brouhaha, and no matter what the folks at VMWare say, if the leaders of an organization leave, if it stocks dip below the ground and if Microsoft is in the game, you are going nowhere.

What amuses me is this unwanted snaziness in saying things like "Microsoft will die", "OS no more".

I am not saying MS will not or should not die. But they are big. They entered the server market and put out Sun. They entered in '93 and were up to 35% in 2007. In fact, compared to Apache, they are lower, but even Google lost share in August 2008.

MS entered the gaming market. Look where Sony is today. Yes, yes, Wii is out, but Wii exists only because MS almost killed off both the players in the market in the shortest span of time since it entered any market.

And to Zune, all I got to say is, if people are stupid enough to buy the iPhone and iPod, why not the Zune. Add Apple's closed-mind idiocy to that and sooner or later you have got MS stealing a certain market share there also.

It all goes back to one point - platforms.

Plus, even in the browser market, Chrome and Firefox will have eons to go before they get accepted in the enterprise.

What does this all mean?

Just like you can't convert an election into a high school popularity contest about "hope" and bitch about it when the opposite side one-ups you, you cannot simply create an OS, not call it an OS and think you will win...

You know what VMWare really needs?

Fewer MBAs who consume Red Bull and yell out crap, and more engineers and scientists.

You know what they have been doing?

Getting rid of their scientist-founders and wifes.

Do you know what this means about their future.....?

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Welcome to the dark side, iDIOTs

[Please click on title to read original article]

So, you know, banks were tumbling, "management" "consultants" who fit "square pegs into round holes" (or was it the other way round?) and "investment bankers" with limo services, free wine and so on were being discarded on the streets, Nepalis were protesting bans on nude discos (now, why would someone do that, really?) and I had no motivation to blog.

None at all.

Till...morsels of food went up nose as I chuckled my a(star)(*) off! - Well, that didn't happen, as I eat soup for lunch...

To un-digress,

Apple is back, Steve Jobs is fat again, and the iPhone is the rage, everybody is an idiot and what not....

See, we are talking about a company that is supposed to be selling "better" computers and "products".

It is supposed to be the "brainchild of a marketing genius" and what not...

You know what it is?

Extortion! Plain and simple.

Apple really does not care about anything but itself.

If you use Microsoft, they want you to feel like an ass.

If you question the necessity for $199 for a phone, they scoff at you.

If you want to use their idiotPhone through anything but AT&T or Orange or Durango or whoever is the lucky lottery winner they ignore you.

If you try to hack into their phones for pre-paid services (which now is as simple as inserting a sim card into their phone), they glare at you.

If you questioned how Martha Stewart had to go to prison while Apple just paid $14 million for crimes it knowingly, willingly and arrogantly committed, they snicker.

If you are an iPhone developer, they...well you are just an idiot.

Did you stand in line for hours and buy an iPhone? You are in the same plane as an iPhone developer. For details, see above.

Enjoy!!!!

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

This week's focus - My story. Please read and vote (Its story 9)!!!

[Please click on title to read original article]

Once again, the link:

http://www.dailywritingtips.com/short-story-competition-sixth-batch-is-open-for-voting/

And yes, please do let me know what you think!


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

iPhone...iFake?

[Please click on title to read original article]

Ha ha ha, please click on that link and see for yourself:

"In New York, some Apple fans were miffed that the first people waiting in line for the iPhone 3G were activists hoping to stir up publicity for a cause. But don't you think they would've been even more ticked off if those first spots in the line were taken up by paid actors?"

If you are an Apple "fan" you don't have much bragging rights or the ability to be miffed. You already got punked, miffed and what not.

So, now a woman in Alabama is suing apple. Indians are making fun of a phone that costs $700 and is behind other Indian phones in technology!!! And..the company behaves like a teenager refusing to admit exactly what it is that their updates do...to their own customers!

Here is a slogan I am ready to give away for anyone who wants to start an Apple "Fan" Club:

"We put the i in iDIOT"

Apple Fan? Want to retaliate?

Only emails sent from "My new 3G iPhone" will be accepted. (Or come stand in front of my house for 36 hours and yell)

Like, they are ever going to get here...on time, or before eternity itself ends!



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Now unveiling in a blog near you...a "Dear MS Outlook" moment!!!!

[Please click on title to read original article]

Alternate Title: The World does a 'Microsoft', only Microsoft does better...

First Read This:

" "Dear MS Outlook," Owen Schultz wrote, "I am so sorry about our breakup several years ago. I have been thinking about you a lot since then. Will you please consider taking me back? Just one more chance? I'm sorry about all the horrible things I said about you and your operating system. You were the best I ever had! MobileMe and I are finished!"

Directly stolen, I mean "adapted" from:

http://weblog.infoworld.com/tech-bottom-line/archives/2008/08/microsoftas_new.html?source=NLC-DAILY&cgd=2008-08-14

and then read the entire article. But remember yours truly as well. For those of you who have known me, I have always touted the fact that Apple is totally unprepared (deliberately so, just like MS, only with much, much more arrogance) for any kind of large customer base.

Yes, yes, they sold so many of this and so many of that. But isn't the world full of idiots accepting dictators, tormentors, mind-changing, hope-touting weaklings and people with 23% or less approval?

What would you expect such an inept world to do?

Of course, buy more and more of the useless.

In any case, the very few of you who know me and equally despise me might have heard me gloating for years about how ineffective Apple is at being able to sell their products to anyone who wants to put them to good use.

Voila!

Apple makes its case as a "better than MS" company (Yeah, Right! - after MS bailed you out) and finally sold copies of an mp3 player and a rather obvious phone design by the millions.

Don't forget the fact that they were neither the first at designing mp3 players nor were they original in even designing them..er, they stole from Creative's patents, desperately fought them and then settled.

Now, their phone swallows email, their website swallows discussion threads ( http://www.techcult.com/iphone-ifail/ ) and their killer swallows apps (Oh, no, that one's not going away...!)

God, what else will this hungry beast swallow?

He he he. Idiots. So now, Silicon Valley is floundering:

1. Gmail has had outages. I experienced these.
2. Yahoo! has had outages. I experienced these.
3. The frikking computing cloud, whatever that mess is, had outages. Amazon, please books. That is all you can barely manage, even now, I dare-say, properly...
4. Netflix has gone to hell, finally...

Who is laughing all the way to the bank?

The creator of the World's largest non-profit and his company.

No one said, MS is perfect, or is going to grow up enough to try and be half-way there, but it is amusing to imagine all the MS haters now wondering in gloom - "What Next".

Meanwhile in a dark alley in the streets of San Francisco, Yang, Jobs and Schmidt plot their next plan to fool the world.

And oh, if Apple cheats and fakes board meetings, "It's all good".

Hate Microsoft? Love Apple?

Be ready for buckets more of ridicule to come your way. The funniest thing is you paid a higher price to be laughed at!

Also Noted: Ever wonder why Apple calls it "MobileMe"? Its all about them, of course, and how they duped you suckers into buying one! Ha ha ha.

And your angry retort "Sent from my iPhone" will take forever to reach me...so don't bother. Uh! Can you hear me now?

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Isn't the iPhone so cool...yeah right!

[Please click on title to read original article]

Oh, how the stupid have fallen!

I have no sympathy for people who dog a store for 36 hours to buy an expensive brick from a crazy control freak company/guy. There have been dozens of stories about how DemiGod Jobs prepares for months to fool, I mean market idiots with too much money on their hands.

I have also heard, through a personal friend and ex-apartment mate as to the kind of craziness that reigns project management at Apple.

So, today morning's story has not been all too surprising.

Now, Apple wants to control what its customers own and how they use it. Perfect! You get to be baby-sat (considering, if you spend $500 without knowing what you are buying, you lack any sense of maturity) for $500 + $$$ (AT&T) + $$$ (buying apps that can be unstably disabled any moment now....oops! somewhere in the world, someone's App just got yanked)!

I can imagine Steve Jobs as an incarnation of Uncle Scrooge on top of piles of gold coins, going he he he, clicking away, disabling everyone's apps while ruminating about a new SOB story to tell at commencement new year (Thank You Stanford, the world seemed like such a peaceful place before we heard 'poor' Jobs' life story).

If you are mad at me - consider this, my parents walked to school without slippers, and from where they started, they have achieved quite a bit (well countered and surpassed by the downside of producing me!) and they don't go bitch around about how bad life used to be.

If Stanford really wants bleeding stories for its commencements, it should select homeless people to tell the story. That way, at least we can pay attention to real problems.

In a way, to badly misquote Douglas Adams (who, unfortunately was an Apple fan, making our spiritual post-Earth relationship quite difficult. Adams, I hope you appreciate my view when you read this. For you uninformed, Facebook loving Earthlings, he has passed on, at least from this medium of existence):

Apple is "Mostly Harmless"!

Why?

Well, Microsoft is all pervading.

Apple only f***s up the rich, who, in a way, since I am not rich, deserve what they got (yanked out of their phones) !!!!!

Long live stupidity! It makes the rest of us feel so great....!



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Navilyst: The newest new old thing...

[Please click on title to read original article]

Alternate Titles:

1. Clueless in Seattle (don't ask me why, I don't know :p )
2. Tutorials in branding, marketing and reading between lines
3. 10 things you cannot learn from THIS press release
4. Press Release for Dummies (the readers)

Alright, so August has me being a tad bit more cynical than usual (and you thought that it was impossible...). Now, I have nothing against the good people at Navilyst, but when Google Alerts started rolling in the press release through multiple websites, I clicked (or took the bait) hoping to see something new, some new competitor in some branch of medical devices and so on.

"A press release is a very useful tool..." - how many times did you read that in your "Tips for Small Business Success" or "Textbook for really expensive yet completely pointless MBA (expands to Much Bigger...) and so on.?

Yet, the press release is a useful tool, when generated appropriately. The key point to note, would be that the press release should also be of eventual use to the journalist, blogger and Google Alert fanatic, not just Navilyst and marketwatch.com .

Once I landed on the press release things got boring pretty fast:

Yes yes, it would have been terrible for the company to be called "Boston Scientific's old Fluid Management Unit sold to try and save company from a stock market debacle, Inc." (for one thing it would have been too long and too truthism-y), but one would hope for something beyond that:

"By 2011 the company should look very different than we do today--and that's exciting," - sorry Ron Sparks, being different from what you are in 2008 is below any bottomline expectation for 2011!

This is a sad case of people giving themselves stickers for just existing...or just a very weakly thought out statement for a press release.

After this, we come to our real world meanings of the several paragraphs in the press-release:

"We maintain the singular focus of a small, eager organization striving to improve patient care while collaborating with clinicians in the global marketplace"

equals "We are smaller than we used to be, in case you are completely incapable of surmising that yourself."

"Navilyst Medical combines the best attributes of an established medical device company--market-leading technology, superior clinical data, experienced leadership and proven worldwide sales and distribution capabilities"

equals, "We assume you dont know what it means to be an established medical device company because you might be out there presuming that you think one of these is not necessary"

Oh come on, yes we agree, you are projecting yourself as a full entity rather than a broken limb (no sales, marketing, etc). Well, no investor is going to be interested in broken limb companies anyway...

"We maintain the singular focus of a small, eager organization striving to improve patient care while collaborating with clinicians in the global marketplace"

equals space filler,padding, icing, pepper dumped on pizza to 'spice' it up or as the elderly sage said, "Hmmm..."

"Navilyst Medical manufactures and markets a portfolio of fluid management and vascular access products used during some of the most frequent hospital procedures including angiography and angioplasty. Navilyst Medical's Fluid Management business, including the proprietary NAMIC(R) line of products enjoys a leading global market share. Navilyst Medical's vascular access products include devices designed to provide access to the blood stream for patients requiring intravenous antibiotics, nutrition, chemotherapy, blood sampling and hemodialysis. The company's PASV(R) Technology, with strong clinical data, is uniquely designed to automatically close after infusion, disconnection or aspiration, and remain closed during normal pressure fluctuations, reducing the risk of complications including catheter-related bloodstream infections. "

does not equal Press Release. May equal "About Navilyst" in press release or website.

A very good example of what you could put in your $1,500 case study on "10 things to NOT publish in a press release with only 10 things" that you can sell to future company executives.

Barely existing or surviving is not an achievement. We cannot hand each other stickers for this.

Yes, I repeat myself here (about the stickers, of course). Hey, if press releases can do this, why can't a blog do it? And this blog doesn't digest and spit out full article tests (without miserably trying to 'entertain' you first!)


Once upon a time you thought a press release talked about something significant, so that you could spend your time reading 20 - 25 press releases and glean some information that you could use. Nowadays, what with all the "Optimize your SEO" guides out there, the "press release" has become a sad victim of the "Restating the blindingly obvious and/or mundane, Inc." movement...


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Yahoo! : Please don't answer my rhetoric questions... lol :)

Alright, you know I lifted that from MI3.

So, no one at Yahoo! checks their questions for spam or abuse or (pleas for) help, either?

Hmm...what a lovely waste of time.

And what the heck is up with the 7?



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

In Today's Mildly Funny to Insanely Boring Issue...

[Please click on title to read original article]

This is how bored I am!

Moral of the Story: When writing articles (for pay) on Friday, please have a cup of coffee handy. Coffee, not beer!




Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Just how useless is Yahoo! ?

[Please click on title to read original article]

If you thought I am the only one frustrated, look at all the questions on the bottom of the page.

Here is how you release an upgrade to a product that is being used..

1. Create dummy email addys and test them.
2. Release Design and Documentation to QA
3. Fix problems and other things that emerge
4. FRIKKING TELL YOUR CUSTOMERS THAT YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING!
5. LISTEN TO CUSTOMERS
6. SELL OUT AFTER 8 QUARTERS OF LOSSES AND TOTAL INABILITY TO DO ANYTHING A 5 YEAR OLD CAN DO.

And, they won't let you ask a direct question to their Help site. Talk about service!!! (Definitely, the lack thereof)

Then, I thought I should shame this useless sham of a company publicly in their own forum.

Mind you, their annual GM is today/tomorrow.

Why is that significant?

Because this useless company prevented Microsoft from buying it based on Holier-Than-Thou Yang decided that Silicon Valley was tres cool and MS was so passe.

Yeah, right!

Really, really tired of this nonsense. Will someone fire him and his board of ineptness already?



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Kamala Harris: The new village i*iot?

[Please click on title to read original article]

Okay, hate Childs as much as you want. And yes, also worry about the fact that he broke federal laws. No one is disagreeing with any of all this.

I also agree that he did not plan his "endgame" well and looks quite the idiot.

But his whole complaint was that the city was unable to protect itself, or act mature. He lamented that his superiors were ill-equipped to understand the sensitivity of network security. Thus he refused to give them the password.

Was he right?

Yes he was!

Let's take a look. Why wasn't this handled better? What is San Francisco winning out of this?

Setting an example?

An example for what?

Childs himself never put the network in jeopardy.

However, the moment you hand over the passwords to the DA's office, look what they did?

They printed them on a list and sent it into public records!

To prove that Childs might have been able to login as a legitimate user and wreak havoc.

Irony, thy name is "District Attorney, City of San Francisco".

I mean, come on. Childs is going to go to prison - for being more intelligent than the collective Government of the City of San Francisco which prints out passwords for the world to see and harbors felons paying for them with city taxes.

God. If I had known what the bottom level of IQ to work for the City of San Francisco was going to be, I would have applied there....

I am almost certain, I would make a better District Attorney, or Network Security Supervisor.

Ugh!

Talk about people (read the sex neutrality carefully!) giving away passwords for a toffee bar:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/16/password_security/

Also remember, this is the same city which claimed a guy managed to stab himself as a fun way to commit suicide. Later, he also managed to wipe out the knife so that people could use the knife for other purposes after he was gone, without feeling icky! :

http://www.sfbg.com/blogs/politics/2008/01/hugues_de_la_plazas_autopsy_un.html



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... made my day!

[Please click on title to read original article]

So, you know, its Saturday morning. I am sitting in front of my laptop with my uptight-a** Starbucks "Latte" going..s*** man, this morning's boring.

You know, its Obama this and Obama that everywhere, and he is really not doing anything actually interesting....

And then this article pops up - for your own good, click on the link and read it.

Ha ha ha, I think this guy will need a therapist for many years to come. He needs to start sending christmas (no obnoxious Firefox spell-check thingy, I refuse to capitalize the C in christmas) cards to the Oakland police for NOT charging him with solicitation.

He he, otherwise he would have to pay more, and more and more for what he wanted to pay for....

The only person I am sorry for, in this whole story is the poor child!

Anyway, hope your Saturday brightens too, and you put that money into a 401(k) rather than elsewhere....

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

What is Paul Harapin smoking? I want some of it...

[Please click on title to read original article]

Okay, who can predict the future? Not even the world's richest (or second, or third or fourth or wherever he is now) man.

He once said, One MB of RAM is all computers would ever need.

Of course, Bill Gates went on to become the world's richest (or second or third..you get the idea) man.

Where is Paul Harapin going to go?

With this kind of talk...probably not far.

Alright, alright, we get it, you are getting paid some kind of a salary by VMWare so you have to run around hockeying us with tales of how only your company and an unsupported, non-commercial, hithero highly unsuccessful, Operating System with no future...I mean "Open Source Linux" are the only ones left.

So, imagine, it's the end of time. The world has burned down, and only VMWare and Ubuntu are walking around holding hand in hand....

hmm. the landfill fire in Palo Alto, did get to me!

Silliness seems to pervade VMWare.

Silicon Valley is a nag on its own backside. After way too much fanfare for the IPO in 2007, VMWare, the next "Windows Killer" (not the "secret" OS that 13 year olds with ADD are building in Google) got nowhere. So, they have dropped a CEO and are now continuing to struggle.

Has it hurt their pride (or inane-ity)?

No!

First off, the death of Windows is like the Loch Ness monster, Area 51, "Campaign of Hope", "Change in Washington" (not change for a Dollar, mind you) and so on.

Alright, let's assume by some twist of fate, all these "nextgen" virtual devices come to exist. How is it possible to replace them within the next 10 years?

Just from that simple logic alone, we can assess that VMWare has more trouble ahead if continues to employ the likes of Paul Heparin, Harparin, what?

Why do engineers not like marketing guys so much?

We engineers have no imagination (or mushroom gardens...)!



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

To stave off a Microsoft buy, Yahoo! embraces idiocy...!

Alternative Titles Include:

The Yahoo! Math

Yang Can't Count!

(Click on Image to enlarge, and then you better come back and read the rest!)




This is what it has come down to. Yang walked down the corridors of Yahoo! triumphantly after sending an email to his employees,

"Dear All,

Do anything, just please, anything so that I don't have to leave the company.

Pleae, pretty please.

After typing this email, I am going to Washington to talk to Mommy about big, bad, bad Microsoft..boo hoo.

If you don't do this, and Microsoft will steal your lunch money...every day.

Oh, and I am attaching an FAQ (Farts and Quirks) on our latest efforts to prevent Microsoft from stealing my lunch money (read billions in stock - which, actually they cannot steal).

Y!ours,

Y!ang"

And look what the loyal Yahoo! Mail folks gave us.

The images speak for themselves.

Y!ours truly!



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Liar, liar, your drugs are on fire...

[Please click on title to read original article]

And, just when I thought I was done for the day...here is a gift from the License Raj attitude for those of you who understand it!

Fake data.

Viva "get it done no matter what"

Well, the rest is easy. The company just lost 10.5% of their stock....just 10.5%! That's what surprises me the most...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Is Obama running a campaign without sense or humor..I mean sense of humor?

Ah, the pleasures of not being rich and famous like the New Yorker.

Why is the cover offensive? After all, we live in a world of "Ugly is Art". Following that logic, the magazine employed some hapless artist to cull all the wrong things that have been said about Obama and his wife and put together, what I think is a pretty (well, maybe not pretty) hilarious cartoon.

It would have served as a great tool for the Obamans to prove that the Right was being downright nuts.

Of course, how can we let commonsense take over? So, the silly campaign went overboard yelling from rooftops.

Does it remind you of the nonsense kicked up the Islamic people about the cartoons?

Oh my Gosh, did I just mention Obama and Islam in the same blog!!!

I think the Obama campaign needs to come down from this "holier than thou" attitude. They are telling people how to run families, comedians how to do shows and now magazines what to put on covers.

Uh, free world, remember?

All the arrogance seems to stem from this notion that people have nowhere else to go but to vote for them. Well, it didn't work in 2004....

Or is it that, having found no satisfactory congregation, the Obama campaign is trying to create a church for him, giving out instructions to the rest of the world on how to live its life?

Having said all this, I am proud that I am not as famous as the New Yorker. You see, not many people read my blog. Nor do most people apply commonsense in their lives....

Oh, what the future beholds (No hope, just a mirror of our current existence)...



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

In Romania: The Free Speech (or screech?) rights for bad news

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Damn the Romanian government. They were just about to yank a whole lot of biz-ness for the anti-depressants market! Thank God justice prevailed.

Now, if the Romanian government is overthrown for unparalleled stupidity (and someone in a certain white colored house sighs in relief, that he is not the one as was commonly expected to bear this title), would that be good or bad news?

See, they have Reporters without Borders, Doctors without Borders and so on...

Romania (not unlike many other places) has a Government without Brains....

Enjoy!!!!


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

And in today morning's "Idiots only" edition, this...

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So you know what: the ferris wheel was going too slow.

I am also sure a moving wheel had an influence on either's brains. Both their brains must have been jolted into action by a fast moving wheel.

Alas, I don't know if the wheel was going clockwise or counter-clockwise, but it definitely did not get either's brain functioning in the right way.

Gears crunched, neurons creaked, pathways fired and both made complete asses of themselves.

But, don't be so bitter. They did it for us! All of us!!!

How else would you want your Monday morning brightened?

Talk about a joy ride....



Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

Friday morning sunshine from dailywritingtips.com : The worst book ever written

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I was always afraid that my yet to be unwritten books will attain this glory. Well, that has passed...for now!

Please read the blog and go to the permalink listed on the blog..

Enjoy your Friday. And think twice before you write...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

On again, off again, on again, off again? on again? on/off, off/on, on, off, o, f, o......

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And you thought you had to be unemployed, sitting at home watching soap operas to access high class drama queens.

Or maybe CNET is smoking something.....

Oh well.

So what do YOU think is going to happen next?

At this point I think both Yahoo! and Microsoft are full of butt heads.

Not so fast.

If you know Steve Balmer well, it would appear this is something he has been playing all along, forcing Yahoo! to give in after they failed to play nice.

To complete this love polygon, we do need a couple of Democrat Senators, Google and the FTC.

Wonder when they will step in?!

And this way, Yahoo! will be ever pregnant, never delivering and no one will ask why not....

Do you think the Yahoo! Board came up with this pregnancy pact?!

Too many sarcastic lines of thought, must stop....


Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

As Yahoo! burned Decker played the reorganization harp...

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This is when you no companies have no clue. It is surprising to see that even in 2008, when you think you are in some kind of age of activism (or at the least activity), these things happen.

Hmm.....





Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

It's Official, Jesus is an ex-traffic cop....

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And you can now watch him on ABC.

We have come to this now...

I know we were supposed to treat everyone equal, but taking out a guy who belongs in a pyschiatric ward and giving him his "15 minutes" is a giant leap towards uselessness.

Next up on ABC:

A new reality show by Jesus featuring him as a narcotics division officer...

Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "airquotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

In weird romance news: Jilted? Take your ex to court to ensure that you get embarrased enough...

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Wow! What a genius. I wonder why the girl broke up with him. Dude, if the money was so important why did you date her in the first place. And I don't even want to explore the idea of understanding why you wanted the money back..!

And what the heck was the girl thinking? She actually signed the document.

In a way, I am sad for the two of them. Oxymoronically, they are the "perfect" couple for each other.







Claimer: Views presented in this article probably or definitely allude to people real, unreal, imaginary, virtual and otherwise. Any harm or libel cast on people dead, alive or transient is either intentional or otherwise. The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author, however he refuses to take responsibility for said views and believes the use of "air quotes" to be a birthright. Claims not included in this claim are also claimed.

In legal "news" : When stupidity engulfed Canada...

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What the hey? I agree, punishing kids is probably not a great way to go. Who knows, maybe the punishment was strong as well. But this kid needed some "grounding". What the heck was this judge, er...thinking?

Let's see if we ever hear about the appeal process.

Enjoy your Saturday....

Jigsaw is so very funny ... :)

So, I open up my email today morning and Jigsaw sends me a WEBINAR invitation with the title "Take care of your customers or someone else will".

So funny, ha ha.

A few weeks ago, they sent me a survey. Being the oh, so diligent survey filler I am, I filled their survey.

I had some suggestions to make for their survey.

I contacted their support team with regards to it.

My email to the survey-send address bounced.

I duly forwarded that also to their support.

Never heard back!!!

Follow what you preach...or not, eh?!

Dr. Becker is back....on USA!

Dr. Becker with his arrogance, annoyance and idiocies and everything else, as portrayed by Ted Danson is that little guy inside of all of us trying to yell out at all those silly things that happen around us. Of course, it would be impertinent and impolite for us to do it in the "real world".

The worst thing to do would be to be "polite" but rude and condescending in reality. These weasels are the people I hate the most. Their lives are so false and meaningless....

In comparison, if it were possible, I truly believe we would all like to be a bit like Dr. Becker.

Hide the kindness, bring out what you truly feel and don't act like you have something stuck up somewhere where it doesn't belong...

Plus, the show is so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is the internet good, bad, awkard or evil?

What a week it has been!!! The Craigslist activities section suddenly seemed to pay off quite well.

I actually joined a group called "The Internet is an awkward social tool".

Never to fret away from signing up for anything weird, I signed up a month ago and even forgot what it was all about and showed up at a cafe to find out it was a delightful new attempt at games night.

Then, I flummoxed around Colorado, desperately seeking and connecting to the interweb - aptly described a Luddite Senator as a set of interconnected tubes...

Later, I found myself in Denver, Colorado connecting to the net free again...

While the internet has offered a lot of delightful experiences, elsewhere, on the same subject, I have acted like Peter Griffin when he pisses off a whole (Southern) town about the civil war..

But hey, why care? The internet works, right? And it makes you happy. So why not defend it?

Just random thoughts...

Keeping it professional - for your own sake, do not question people's basic intelligence

It is not often that I do personal blogging anymore. Now most of it is about biotechnology or medical devices. But today I am peeved and that makes it ideal to write something personal.

I love arguing. I love the law. Even in school, people always thought I should be a lawyer.

So, I used to get into long drawn, pointless arguments as well as pointed arguments.

Over the years, I have found it easy to agree and move on, when I realized people are never going to change beyond a point.

Very recently, I was trying to present my viewpoints and two people I was exchanging emails with started questioning my basic intelligence.

Though I found it humorous, I also found out that they were leaving a long bread crumb trail of how they deal with issues online...for anyone who wants some good career advice...don't condescend!!!!!!!!!!

That is almost the most banal, unprofessional sentiment to express. Enemies cannot be made quicker...!